Genuine piece of advice. Touch grass. Sit in the sunlight for a couple of minutes, feel the breeze on your skin. Pet a dog or a cat.
Going through life you start to learn that there's only really one person who can save you and that's yourself. It's okay to ask for help and reach out to others, and I'd encourage you to do that if you have anyone that's able to help you with things that feel insurmountable for the moment, but in the end only you can follow through with accepting that help.
I've personally been stuck in groundhog day for close to two decades at this point, depression fucking sucks and suicide looks really inviting when I'm at my darkest. What has helped me immensely is getting a dog. She is the reason I get out of bed every day, she's the reason I bother eating and the guilt of failing to take care of her is bigger than the darkness in my head.
Take it a day at a time. If you're spiraling, consider writing down what you have/haven't been doing. Learn the patterns and predict when the pitfalls come. Is it seasonal, is it because of poor choices with your diet, is it a lack of purpose. If you're the kind of person that needs to gamify things,
finch is a relatively simple self-help app with a lot of solid, free ways to help yourself.
Baseline is another self-help app but it is vastly more clinical and barebones, with no gay UwU cutesy graphics or modern leftist therapy speech.
My DM's are open if you need a place to vent. I promise not to invite you to some gay ERP chain DM.
You'll be okay, OP. We all will. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you have any loved ones, your death will have bigger ramifications than you might initially think.
