DAY 1 ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS - 3/5/2018

[89elbees]

Sorry for the :powerlevel: but to illustrate how fucking massive she is, I have a size 2X Walmart sleep shirt and 5 normal sized women could easily fit in that thing. It's huge. I'm assuming she has a 3X and it's stretched thin on her. Horrifying.

 

[Rotogravure]

Cow Crossover!

 

[Sure Thing Idiot]

I really can't trash Amberlynn for having a grotesque and unrealistic sleep schedule because I have the worst sleeping schedule of anyone I've ever known. That said, AL doesn't have a job or any semi-obligatory extraculur activity going on that would compromise a standard daily routine. She literally stays at home all day and does virtually nothing. I would think for myself the luxury of staying home all day raking in youtube cash on the side could mean more time used learning a new language, writing a book, trying to, or practice how to draw, reading (real reading, not showing books) or study something for shits and giggles, but AL lights wax melts and does what? I don't know. Who really fuckin knows?

I very highly doubt ALs "depression" is any type of real chronic or ongoing depression, that if not for her size and anxiety, would be pretty much nonexistent. Truly depressed people don't chronicle their lives or the deep, dark inner-working of a personal, mental issue on youtube. People just don't do that. It's not contingent with real-world depression where someone slogs through the work day even still, a shitty boss at their neck and scrambling to pay bills, or school, or whatever, and have to deal with it on a real-world level. Like you literally sit at home all day what is there to feel bad about other than yourself? Any "depression" Al has is caused by her size and the anxiety she feels when people look at her. I'm not trying to be an asshole but I don't know of any truly depressed people who would vlog their lives for the world to see feeling as worthless as they do - still working, going to school, raising kids; whatever.

It's just kind of ridiculous to watch her videos and think some people are taking this seriously.

 

[NQ 952]

It’s starting to just look like dirt caking up on and around her knuckles

Ver archivo adjunto 396787

She needs to get that diabetes under control as of five years ago ou her new nickname is going to be stubby

 

[Whatthefuck]

I really can't trash Amberlynn for having a grotesque and unrealistic sleep schedule because I have the worst sleeping schedule of anyone I've ever known. That said, AL doesn't have a job or any semi-obligatory extraculur activity going on that would compromise a standard daily routine. She literally stays at home all day and does virtually nothing. I would think for myself the luxury of staying home all day raking in youtube cash on the side could mean more time used learning a new language, writing a book, trying to, or practice how to draw, reading (real reading, not showing books) or study something for shits and giggles, but AL lights wax melts and does what? I don't know. Who really fuckin knows?

I very highly doubt ALs "depression" is any type of real chronic or ongoing depression, that if not for her size and anxiety, would be pretty much nonexistent. Truly depressed people don't chronicle their lives or the deep, dark inner-working of a personal, mental issue on youtube. People just don't do that. It's not contingent with real-world depression where someone slogs through the work day even still, a shitty boss at their neck and scrambling to pay bills, or school, or whatever, and have to deal with it on a real-world level. Like you literally sit at home all day what is there to feel bad about other than yourself? Any "depression" Al has is caused by her size and the anxiety she feels when people look at her. I'm not trying to be an asshole but I don't know of any truly depressed people who would vlog their lives for the world to see feeling as worthless as they do - still working, going to school, raising kids; whatever.

It's just kind of ridiculous to watch her videos and think some people are taking this seriously.

I suggested earlier that at worst she has dysthymia which is low level (read: mild) depression, but it is chronic. To be diagnosed it has to be persistent for a long period of time and it's more akin to just being in a bad mood everyday for an extended period of time. It's not a stay in bed or withdraw from the world kind of thing. It's more like an Eeyore without being adorable kind of thing. I'm positive that her lifestyle is absolutely contributing, but I'm sure there's a chemical imbalance there that needs to be addressed as well. Or, if she has a thyroid issue or hormonal issue that could contribute as well and we know she likely has both due to her weight. I think anti-depressants were the way to go at least to curb her appetite and give her a bit of clarity. However, anti-depressants will only really work with cognitive therapy because she has to learn new healthy coping habits and we all know that's never going to happen.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Oh jesus christ. I made a joke awhile back "will she just start pointing the camera at the telly whilst they watch a film and call it a vlog?"

Turned out to be exactly what she did.

So, moving on....each vlog will now be our pet bloater washing down the happy pill then, if she's not too depressed, maybe she'll talk about herself. But only if she feels ok, cos she has the Depreshuns, don'tchaknow. And that makes it hard to talk about as she talks about it endlessly, but you should just be supportive. Of her taking a pill.

Fucking giving ME the depreshuns.

Edit; re clinical/situational depression. I vote situational - I don't think anti-depressants are going to help much because her entire existence is void and meaningless, yet she requires somebody else to provide amusement as she cannot amuse herself. She may have bored herself into a chemical imbalance but it's her situation she needs to change. And in all honesty, where d'you even start?

People with real, serious depression aren't vlogging. Mental health wards are not full of people talking about themselves into cameras because depression is kinda beyond that. We have medicalised ordinary human experiences (boredom, feeling low, anxious) and, in doing so, made the truly depressed even more scared to seek help because they already tell themselves they're useless and making a fuss.

I'm not just being a bitch; I have MASSIVE sympathy for the depressed. But unless there is some other factor, ADs will only pull you out of the hole; they won't fix anything but hopefully put you in a place where you can start fixing yourself - you need to put effort in. She's not IN the hole - she bandies the words depression and anxiety about but her behaviours tell the lie. Those pills are a band-aid, but the wound scarred over long ago. I'll give the Singing Doctor (I wrote all her potential diagnoses to the tune of O Fortuna because....er....The Singing Doctor tickles me, spesh together with her Dramatic Rendition post. And cos I might be a bit odd) props because docs and meds use placebo effect, but otherwise those pills are going to be pretty useless. Pills don't help shit situations, shit coping behaviours or shit habits - those are AL's problems.

 

[Brod Panis]

I agree- the depression is largely (heh) situational.

Spoiler: victimlynn ranting ahead

Like people keep saying, having no routine and, therefore, no sense of purpose can only lead to someone feeling less-than fulfilled in their life, i.e "depressed". And while it's not as serious and dark as clinical depression, it's still something that needs to be treated with therapy. She's probably excited to say she's on ADs because "look!! muh depreshun needs to be medicated bc it's sooOOo serious guize!!!" Never mind the fact that millions of Americans are already taking ADs for shit well within their control.

I don't like Amber in the slightest, but she does need to seek mental help and I really do hope she goes to her therapy appointment and starts going regularly (super , I know). Mainly for the sake of those who surround her because Amber is abusive as hell. But she obviously doesn't have the right coping skills to change her life into something she can be more proud of. I believe she's been told all her life that what happened to her as a kid was not her fault and instead of leaving that to cover that part of her childhood, she realized that it could explain everything away and still uses it to excuse her shitty, manipulative, abusive behavior.

My pity for her is VERY limited. Foster care in the US is shit all around and it sucks that any kid is placed in it, but at some point you're no longer 8 and you need to stop playing the fucking victim card. While I really want her to go to therapy so she can be forced to see what a piece of shit she is, I know it's more likely that she'll go to one or two sessions and then quit because "it's not working!11! I'm still super sad, verbatim " it'll still probably make for some funny as hell content. Either that or her therapist will convince her to leave YouTube and we'll be left out to dry for a couple more weeks before she misses the attention and comes back.

 

[Whatthefuck]

I agree- the depression is largely (heh) situational.

Spoiler: victimlynn ranting ahead

Like people keep saying, having no routine and, therefore, no sense of purpose can only lead to someone feeling less-than fulfilled in their life, i.e "depressed". And while it's not as serious and dark as clinical depression, it's still something that needs to be treated with therapy. She's probably excited to say she's on ADs because "look!! muh depreshun needs to be medicated bc it's sooOOo serious guize!!!" Never mind the fact that millions of Americans are already taking ADs for shit well within their control.

I don't like Amber in the slightest, but she does need to seek mental help and I really do hope she goes to her therapy appointment and starts going regularly (super , I know). Mainly for the sake of those who surround her because Amber is abusive as hell. But she obviously doesn't have the right coping skills to change her life into something she can be more proud of. I believe she's been told all her life that what happened to her as a kid was not her fault and instead of leaving that to cover that part of her childhood, she realized that it could explain everything away and still uses it to excuse her shitty, manipulative, abusive behavior.

My pity for her is VERY limited. Foster care in the US is shit all around and it sucks that any kid is placed in it, but at some point you're no longer 8 and you need to stop playing the fucking victim card. While I really want her to go to therapy so she can be forced to see what a piece of shit she is, I know it's more likely that she'll go to one or two sessions and then quit because "it's not working!11! I'm still super sad, verbatim " it'll still probably make for some funny as hell content. Either that or her therapist will convince her to leave YouTube and we'll be left out to dry for a couple more weeks before she misses the attention and comes back.

She'll never stick out cognitive therapy for the length of time it would take to make any real progress. Therapy is painful because you have to confront yourself. It's worth it in so many ways, but you have to discipline yourself to make changes and she's just simply unwilling. Therapy only works for those willing to put in the work. This one thinks that taking a pill twice a day is a lot of work. Imagine what she'd think of having to do actual introspection homework. I think our gorl is in this until she eats herself into an early grave. I just don't see her putting the effort in.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

And you have to be honest. She lies to herself more than anybody.

I don't think AL really wants to change. She's sorta OK in her groove. She wants awww, Poor Amber for her childhood, awww Brave Amber for her "struggles" and awwwww, YOU GO GUUURL! for things the rest of us just fucking do. General random understanding (including understanding she's just not understood, poor me) and she's good.

What the hell did these people do before they found gratification in being watched as they just exist?

 

[Malibougie]

I also don’t think she is going to even meet the therapist that supposedly is supposed to call her. She won’t be honest because I don’t think she can be. As for the depression- I think most of it can be chalked up to boredom. Even is she is chronically kinda depressed I don’t think she wants to get better. Just like I don’t think that she really wants to lose weight. If she isn’t the sad fat girl, who is she? She loves the pity and attention it brings.

 

[nyankosensei]

She said at the end she is afraid of falling asleep (or something like that)... probably afraid because there's a high chance she won't wake up or wake up having a heart attack.

i find it really funny that she is scared on the side effects of a pill she just took 1 day but not on the side effects on being 500+ lbs, is she too dumb not to know/understand that her being this weight put her at risk of dying of a heart attack/not waking up etc at any second?

 

[stronkwonk]

Anyone else notice how she's making an effort to talk more quietly/slowly? Like she needs to prove she's got depression. I'm on board with her not having depression, but being depressed. I highly doubt anything will change. Nothing is her fault, she can't take responsibility for herself, so she probably won't realize she's sat herself on this porcelain throne and needs everyone's help to get off again.

 

[Long time lurker]

What the hell did these people do before they found gratification in being watched as they just exist?

They found people - good people - in real life, and told them all about their horrible, terrible life. And those people who fell for it? They spent years hearing the same stories (with wild variations) while they tried to help in any way they could.
Eventually those people wise up and walk way because they figure out that no amount of support will help them.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Amber isn't depressed, she is bored. Her "sadness" comes from being envious of other people's lives - she wants what others have and gets sad because she doesn't have it. She'll do nothing to achieve whatever it is because she is lazy and thinks it's her god given right to get every fucking thing she wants.

 

[ricecake]

They found people - good people - in real life, and told them all about their horrible, terrible life. And those people who fell for it? They spent years hearing the same stories (with wild variations) while they tried to help in any way they could.
Eventually those people wise up and walk way because they figure out that no amount of support will help them.

Yes! :powerlevel::powerlevel::powerlevel: But I got into watching AL because she reminded me so much of my neighbor, who was and is an absolute trainwreck. Lots of people in her life fell for her sob stories, helped her back from stupid financial and personal decisions, and talked her out of various mental health crises. Finding other people online, first on YT comments and then on here, saying the same things about Amber that I had been thinking for years about my neighbor really validated me and helped me break that cycle of being sucked into her drama. :powerlevel::powerlevel::powerlevel:

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Amber isn't depressed, she is bored. Her "sadness" comes from being envious of other people's lives - she wants what others have and gets sad because she doesn't have it. She'll do nothing to achieve whatever it is because she is lazy and thinks it's her god given right to get every fucking thing she wants.

Bang on. Certainly in terms of entitlement, lack of work ethos and general low-level envy.

But - and I find this with a lot of the girlie threads - I'm at a loss as to what she actually wants. She liduhrally has nothing - ambitions, career goals, hobbies or interests. Other than random blah about whatever has just flitted across her mind, like the recent posts about kids, she's a blank slate. She doesn't even collect anything, which can be about the lowest-engagement hobby possible if you choose to make it so.

I was thinking this about Raven Sparks too; outside the off-the-rack goff thing, most of which is stolen/appropriated anyway, there is nothing there; we can project whatever we want on to her because there's nothing to contradict it. How can people be fully grown adults and not have any interests or any desire to learn or expand their horizons? Amber's always saying she doesn't know or understand this, that or the other but it just stops there rather than providing an impetus to go find out. Obviously everyone's curiosity level is different and they react different ways, but I've never met anyone IRL who just has nothing. Even Amy Slaton and Kai try to learn about makeup and Luna S has her trashpile "art" and an overwhelming interest in drugs.

Why won't the orforities let us take people to bits and see how they work any more? Of all we talk about AL, this nothingness intrigues me the most. Essentially we're actually more interested in, and questioning of, her life, than she is.

Maybe she just stops when the camera is switched off. She's just left frozen in position wherever filming stopped, everyone walks round the stagnant obstruction and the dogs piss up against her leg.

 

[Brod Panis]

Anyone else notice how she's making an effort to talk more quietly/slowly? Like she needs to prove she's got depression.

This. I noticed it, too, and it made me laugh pretty hard. In a way she's a master of disguise. She can change her personality to fit with her current situation. It'd be amazing if she wasn't such a bitch.

 

[Ungern]

She already forgot that she has to act all depressed in her new video (or the Wellbutrin is working really well...), Becky seems more depressed than her, and so does Twinkie.

 

[Long time lurker]

I'm at a loss as to what she actually wants. She liduhrally has nothing - ambitions, career goals, hobbies or interests.

She doesn't know either, and it's one of the reasons she's "depressed". Let me try again.

She wants IT - what she sees on YT, TV and movies. The thing that will make her beautiful, happy, wealthy. Amber has a very simple, dare I say childish, mind. She thinks that if she acquires what others have and behave like others do, she will be as happy as they are. Mind you, they are mostly characters, they are not real people.

What she fails to realize is that no one lives in a constant state of euphoria. We all have ups and downs, and for the most part, life is boring - that is what makes the special moments...well...special.

Amber lives for the high and thinks a successful life has no downs. If she doesn't change her ways she's bound to live a life of constant disappointment because the high always fade. She buys stuff for the high of buying, and it fades as soon as she gains possession of the item, so she buys more to get the high again. She eats for the high of eating, but it fades as soon as she swallows, so she eats some more.

She doesn't even collect anything,

I have to disagree with you here. She does collect a lot of trash (jewellery, make-up, bags, animals, fat...). She takes no pride in any of it, like a normal collector would though, because owning doesn't interests her.

Of all we talk about AL, this nothingness intrigues me the most

Me too, people like her are fascinating to me. How can someone so focused on other people to the point they mimic their behaviour be so self-centered?

Maybe she just stops when the camera is switched off. She's just left frozen in position wherever filming stopped, everyone walks round the stagnant obstruction and the dogs piss up against her leg.

It wouldn't surprise me if that was true - in fact we can see glimpses of that every now and again in her videos - every time someone else talks her eyes glaze over and she freezes for a few seconds before coming up with some stupid comment or making a face to the camera.

In those moments I get the impression that her brain is completely devoid of thoughts, like the universe before the big bang.

Edited because I can't rite gud.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

@LongtimeLurker Gotcha. I has the dumb today , should've realised you meant an ephemeral "it" rather than a concrete goal. It's pretty bloody obvious now you've explained in Language for the Hard of Thinking - I'm actually Spastic Clanger, the one they try and hide in the attic.

Agree totally on her collecting too. I wasn't clear, I meant "collecting" as a specific thing you have interest in and knowledge about to whatever extent, even if only minor. She acquires and keeps stuff, it's a discrete difference.

In a way, she's the perfect 21stC stereotype of her generation. Has no existence outside social media, has no substance so doesn't cause cognitive dissonance by contradicting our perception, and the perfect consumer who will buy, buy, buy with nothing more deep behind those acquisitions than "oooo look SHINY THING!" And never, ever sated.

Evolution did dun fuck up.

 

[Octomet]

It wouldn't surprise me if that was true - in fact we can see glimpses of that every now and again in her videos - every time someone else talks her eyes glaze over and she freezes for a few seconds before coming up with some stupid comment or making a face to the camera.

In those moments I get the impression that her brain is completely devoid of thoughts, like the universe before the big.

Sounds like YouTube is beta testing MK Ultra: Gelatinous Baby edition.