DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[OneDaySon]

Does anyone remember the Friends episode where Joey thinks he's gonna be presenting a PBS telethon and he gets all dressed up and shit and when he gets there it turns out he's one of the dudes on the phones in the background taking pledges? It'll be like that.

 

[CausticMinory]

I love how gullible Phil is at e-mails. Like he believes the generic e-mails everyone gets are personalised e-mails to him. He's like "Oh the Twitch staff said that they're fans of my kahntent and want me to succeed! And they want ME to be at Twitchcon!" and it's like the generic e-mail everyone they invited get. He did the same for Laveria. Anyone who's ever been on Youtube knows that partnership companies pull this tactic all the time. They send everyone the same generic e-mail saying they're huge fans and all thats different is like the second line or something where they quickly grab something about you to make it personalised. So for Phil it would be like "Hey Phil, huge fans here! It sucks about those haters." then the proposal. Like any Youtuber here who does some numbers will say you get like 3 of them a week.

But Phil was on his Daily Diary Prestream saying shit like "Wow I got this e-mail from this company and guess what? They're HYOOJ fans! They said so themselves and they're ready to combat the haters!" and then it turns out the Laveria people have absolutely no idea who he is and have never heard of him before. He's just so gullible like that.

The Twitch thing is the same. If I remember correctly, what he's invited to is some dark corner of the con with like 50 others where they just stream and put LIVE AT TWITCH CON on their stream and people just walk by from time to time and wave at the camera and they stream as usual. IF its the stage he's been invited to (doubtful), it's gonna be amazing. Can you imagine the reaction he'd get to his dull ass reactionary "Oh look at that, look at this! [dead air] Woah! Look at that! [dead air] BOB JUST DID A 50 BICHEER [dead air]" streams. Or even better, Phil doing his 45 minute daily dear diary pre stream. He'll be booed.

So either way, we're gonna get some good salt and content. Either salt from being shoved in the corner to rot with the other low tier streamers or salt from being booed and shit.

"Hello everyone I'm ending the stream early today. I just got an email from a mega hwuge fan from Nigeria. Said he's a prince or something so all I gotta do (Snort) is give him my twitch password and PayPal info and he'll give me $1,000,000 so (ACK ACK ACK) see you losers later"

 

[Viktor]

Ver archivo adjunto 297405

The guy who gave Phil $300 in bits yesterday basically giving his reasoning.
Phil's pay pigs actually buy the shit that he's selling.

1st, I'm actually wondering if it will ever dawn on these people that they've been funding lifestyle of a guy who otherwise wouldn't be able to do this thing every single day. For example, imagine if that guy or Viking had sudden realization like "Oh my fucking god, I did WHAT?!" while they're laying in bed trying to get sleep, like remembering those embarassing things you did as a kid.

2nd, if Phil will actually be featured in some actual spot than some torture room basement at Twitchcon, only question I'll have is: Who's dick he had to suck and how much?

 

[ISP]

I couldn't effin believe it. 300 $ down the drain. Instead of a new TV.

$300 for a TV?

 

[DarkSydePundit]

"Hello everyone I'm ending the stream early today. I just got an email from a mega hwuge fan from Nigeria. Said he's a prince or something so all I gotta do (Snort) is give him my twitch password and PayPal info and he'll give me $1,000,000 so (ACK ACK ACK) see you losers later"

“Hullo everyone Phil here and I have special news for you guys.
Apparently after some speculation I can tell you that I am no longer single, yes.
Why you ask? *SNORT* It’s simple.
The bottom line is, after checking my emails I got one telling me that there are cute girls in my area who want to meet me.
So yeah there is this girl that I won’t get into much detail about but she said she wanted to come over but her car broke down AND her mother’s in the hospital so she needs $1500 from me before we can meet up.
She’s way hotter than that Asian brat I used to date ACK ACK ACK.”

 

[ISP]

He looks like fucking Saddam Hussein.

There is some Decent Niro in there.

 

[Tetra]

1st, I'm actually wondering if it will ever dawn on these people that they've been funding lifestyle of a guy who otherwise wouldn't be able to do this thing every single day. For example, imagine if that guy or Viking had sudden realization like "Oh my fucking god, I did WHAT?!" while they're laying in bed trying to get sleep, like remembering those embarrassing things you did as a kid.

Everyone need stuff to cringe at. Maybe one day this can be a real happy cringy moment for Vidar. If that happens though, it'd be long after Phil is gone...
No but it's probably some findom fetish for vidar. If DSP dries up he'll go on to some other struggling youtuber and continue with his donations and white-knighting.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

Felt this was a funny observation at how Phil could improve. He'll likely be told to gtfo if he doesn't like it.

Which brings my thoughts to this special twitch event he's involved in - I guarantee that he'll try his best to do this differently than his usual shite. Phil knows his usual shite puts people off. The "realest motherfucker on the Internet" is a going to change for this event in the hope of luring more money from the gullible.

 

[FatNero]

Ver archivo adjunto 297544 Felt this was a funny observation at how Phil could improve. He'll likely be told to gtfo if he doesn't like it.

Which brings my thoughts to this special twitch event he's involved in - I guarantee that he'll try his best to do this differently than his usual shite. Phil knows his usual shite puts people off. The "realest motherfucker on the Internet" is a going to change for this event in the hope of luring more money from the gullible.

This is a permaban quote if I've ever seen one.

 

[Tetra]

Felt this was a funny observation at how Phil could improve. He'll likely be told to gtfo if he doesn't like it.

DSP never grew out of the very thing 10-13 year old brand-new minecraft lets players does, just describing things on screen as they have nothing to talk about.
Worst part is, if he just read up some development facts or just lore, he could actually split those few things into his stream as support if he ever runs completely out of things to talk about. After his uh 8(or is it 9 now) year legacy he really should move past something every successful lets player does within half a year.

 

[neger psykolog]

the week in pigroach. (might add a summary after i watch it.)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=jb0t-17CxUE

"this game has 2 million concurrent players"
ok turnip, then why the fuck are you even making it a patreon goal? he then goes on about how he has no time for it with all the new releases... except for this PUBG game that people are going on about which is consistently one of the most popular games on Twitch?

I know its DSP, so I should leave all expectations at the door, but where's the logic in this?

Let's spell it out more clearly:
Phil refuses to play the most popular game currently out to play other newer and less popular games which struggle to even get him a handful of viewers... All the money he's spending on AAA releases each day could easily get a better computer.

Also, what's with the intro? It's so over the top. It makes me think I'm about to see some hardcore, super edited video with lots of over the top excitement. For some reason there's a clip of Phil drinking a bottle of what I assume is beer?

Remember all the times you sat back and watched a DSP stream and he took out a fresh ice cold bottle of beer? Me neither.
What the fuck does this clip have to do with anything at all that DSP says or does?

You'd think I'm nitpicking about it, but its the only fucking clip in the intro video and it is so random, it just doesn't sit anywhere. All Phil drinks on stream is fucking V8 energy drinks. Why the fuck is this in the intro video?

I know he doesn't edit videos, but here's a breakdown

• 0:00 - 0:12 "The Week in Preview" Title card
  • 12 seconds for a title card is pure :autism:.
  • He has a caption that says "All That's Coming, In A Nutshell!"... Thanks Phil, I wasn't quite sure what preview meant. Thanks for clearing that up.
• 0:12 - 0:15 Highly stylized clip of Phil drinking from a bottle
  • Nothing to do with anything
• 0:15 - 0:30 Ridiculously over the top 3D intro that looks like something you'd find on a YouTube channel from 5 years ago
  • Shitty rock music to get you pumped up. Again, Phil's not known for playing any music except the PS4 menu music because he's lazy.
  • Again, nothing to do with anything except :autism:

So after a potential new viewer has wasted 30 seconds of their life with this intro (again, ridiculously long and pointless intro for a YouTube video) and listened to this generic rock music and 3D intro to try and 'pump' them up with excitement they're greated by a greasy dude sitting on a sofa.

I know Phil doesn't want to get rid of his "The King of Hate" moniker, because he thinks it has "brand value" but please get fucking real.

In the first place this is among the stupidest internet names I've ever seen, and then when you actually watch the video you get this jellybean care-bear looking motherfucker crying about his finances and trying to plug his teespring.

He rarely ever plays multiplayer, let alone with voice in a public lobby to talk shit to people on the internet so why is his name "The King of Hate".

Has he never taken a look at what his 'online brand' comes across as to people? The King of Hate with a fucking Nintendo pillow? With unicorns on it?

Seriously Phil? Calling yourself The King of Hate while 1 foot away from a unicorn picture?

 

[JackDavis]

"this game has 2 million concurrent players"
ok turnip, then why the fuck are you even making it a patreon goal?

Phil has only three abilities:
1) Play new release video games on cam
2) Play non-new release video games on cam
3) Take 45 minutes to talk about a 2 minute subject

Since he already does #1 and #3 daily, the only thing left for him to do on Patreon is #2

 

[wohzi]

How much do you want to bet that Phil's version of "I can't afford to run da heat!!!" means that he cannot afford to heat an entire 'house' in an expensive city versus what a reasonable person would do if they lived alone (buy a fucking space heater and point it at your footsies you fat turnip)

With all the hardware he has in his small office (computers, HT receiver, big flat screen etc...) he might not even need to turn on the heat comes winter. I imagine that he wouldn't care about heating the rest of his house considering he never leaves his office for anything else than getting food-in and food-out.

 

[Froggy_Not_So_Fresh]

Every Vlog DSP starts, he always starts out looking so strangely empty and occupied, and then acts surprised when the video he's supposed to be recording actually switches to him. He has literally made hundreds of these goddamn things, but it's a shock every time the camera turns on, I guess!

I mean, I'd be shocked too if I looked like that.

 

[neger psykolog]

>tfw your full-time live in maid quits her job leaving you with only a Norwegian butler to make ends meet

 

[Top Cunt]

That is one aesthetic intro sequence, kudos to whichever lackey is responsible.

With all the hardware he has in his small office (computers, HT receiver, big flat screen etc...) he might not even need to turn on the heat comes winter. I imagine that he wouldn't care about heating the rest of his house considering he never leaves his office for anything else than getting food-in and food-out.

Don't forget the layer of dust and sediment which is sure to provide some insulation when the temperature drops. You see a person with business smarts would clean their room but street smart people like Phil are thinking four dimensionally.

 

[CausticMinory]

How much do you want to bet that Phil's version of "I can't afford to run da heat!!!" means that he cannot afford to heat an entire 'house' in an expensive city versus what a reasonable person would do if they lived alone (buy a fucking space heater and point it at your footsies you fat turnip)

With how dusty his "office" is I'm assuming he wouldn't want a space heater causing a fire. You know cause when you have a dusty ass room and want to be warm, fuck cleaning the dusty to keep run heat easy, just refuse cleaning and complain that it's too cold

 

[neger psykolog]

HEY PHIL
TURNS OUT TWITCHCON HAS A GREAT PANEL! YOU SHOULD TUNE IN TO LISTEN!

https://www.twitchcon.com/schedule/it-s-dangerous-to-go-full-time-take-this-business-advice/

 

[Top Cunt]

I'm sure they asked him to host that particular panel but it is the 'hardcore gaming season' after all.

 

[ThePlagueTND]

Also, what's with the intro? It's so over the top. It makes me think I'm about to see some hardcore, super edited video with lots of over the top excitement. For some reason there's a clip of Phil drinking a bottle of what I assume is beer?

I've always wondered the same exact thing. It's most likely a clip he was using to fuck with an editing program and when he was finally done, "hey that looks pretty cool, I'll use that"

Also has anyone noticed 95% of the time he jolts his head back when he shows up on screen like he's surprised. Every fucking time, head jolt, hello everyone.