DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Phíloden- King of Denthan]

Phil is one of those lolcows you do need breaks from, as he seemingly is too stupid/selfish/ugly/greedy to actually be a real person. Not to mention the acting like a petulant child when he is doing something he doesn't like (playing 007 = me cleaning my room and stomping around, when I was like 6).

The day when Phil gets beat up IRL, not from being a lolcow or his internet personality but from just being a dick, is going to be hilarious. It'll happen someday somehow.

Im on a break just because the pokemon grift kills me as a pokemon fan and tcg enthusiast. Its been fun to pop in every week or so to see where the discussion is at.

I recommend a break to all who feel the burn out.

 

[johnkimble123]

Im on a break just because the pokemon grift kills me as a pokemon fan and tcg enthusiast. Its been fun to pop in every week or so to see where the discussion is at.

I recommend a break to all who feel the burn out.

One thing I do appreciate about Phil… he’s such a cunty piece of shit that literally nothing could happen to him that would make me feel any sympathy.

The way he whines about some things (like his whiny tantrum that there’s no new fast food to eat on stream that he calls not a big deal) just tells you all you need to know about the guy.

He’s a helpful reminder when you do pop back in that some people are irredeemable trash.

 

[Shon&Saunders666420]

I can't wait for the piggy to inevitably bring up Wings' "retirement" from the internet on today's pahdkast.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

I can't wait for the piggy to inevitably bring up Wings' "retirement" from the internet on today's pahdkast.

Oh, he will. Just like he brought up LTG's restraining order court video from his baby mama. Also, Philly cheesesteak....don't EVER EVER say "baby mama" ever again. The way you made it sound, I could tell you never used those words ever in your life.

Oh, in case you're wondering, yes...Phil turned the restraining order case about LTG and made it about ree.

 

[Telemeter]

Phil is one of those lolcows you do need breaks from, as he seemingly is too stupid/selfish/ugly/greedy to actually be a real person. Not to mention the acting like a petulant child when he is doing something he doesn't like (playing 007 = me cleaning my room and stomping around, when I was like 6).

The day when Phil gets beat up IRL, not from being a lolcow or his internet personality but from just being a dick, is going to be hilarious. It'll happen someday somehow.

Phil is like a zoo exhibit of an alien lizard person. His behavior and thought process are genuinely not human. Watching Phil is like watching a real life version of 3rd Rock from the Sun, it's fascinating. For a while.

However, no matter how much you love the animals at the zoo, eventually you just grow bored of watching them do the same thing every single day so you stop visiting the zoo. Yet a few months or years later you start itching to see what they are up to these days, you know it'll be exactly the same as before but you really want to check them out again, it's inevitable.

 

[Milkdud]

I can't wait for the piggy to inevitably bring up Wings' "retirement" from the internet on today's pahdkast.

When he talks about Wings' retirement from the internet everyone already knows he's going to flip it to a discussion about how detractors have ruined his life (Lummox will be freed up now to do more edited videos for the business now) and mention that Jordie leaving the internet because of harassment is giving the trolls a W and then he'll tie in the perceived detractor harassment into his Nintendo 2 retrospective where someone socially engineered his Walmart account and ruined that for him... it's going to be a massive discussion retconning the retcon of the retcon. The only thing that fascinates me right now about him is watching him physically melt away and his bulbous crown grow as he distorts into something of an eldritch crackhead beast jonesin' for pulls and hits and flexin' for 2.00$ tips.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

When he talks about Wings' retirement from the internet everyone already knows he's going to flip it to a discussion about how detractors have ruined his life (Lummox will be freed up now to do more edited videos for the business now) and mention that Jordie leaving the internet because of harassment is giving the trolls a W and then he'll tie in the perceived detractor harassment into his Nintendo 2 retrospective where someone socially engineered his Walmart account and ruined that for him... it's going to be a massive discussion retconning the retcon of the retcon. The only thing that fascinates me right now about him is watching him physically melt away and his bulbous crown grow as he distorts into something of an eldritch crackhead beast jonesin' for pulls and hits and flexin' for 2.00$ tips.

Because of course he will. In Phil's logic, which is just fucking retarded, Phil leaving the internet is a W for the detractors, because Phil losing breaks his fragile ego, not realizing Phil lost a LONG LONG LONG time ago.

Phil is going to project HIS experiences on Jordie, because that's what Phil does; make it about ree, whine and bitch about how his life has been tough, etc...How he had to beg on the internet, how he couldn't find another job after losing his job from the helicopter company, it was the detractors fault he lost his partnership on Twitch, he's really just a dumb Polock LARPING as an Italian, Leanna wasn't Asian, etc...It's everyone else's fault, not realizing that Phil is his own worst detractor. I've said it before, I'll say it again: past Phil fucks future Phil.

Also, Phil is never going to leave the internet, because the internet is his life. He has no other hobbies besides day time drinking, feeding his snout full of Doordash, and melting away as his health gets worst and worst. There will get to a point where his health will get SO bad, he won't have a choice BUT to step away, but because Phil has the ego the size of Jupiter, he'll try to keep going because ego...until his body absolutely tells him to "STOP!"

 

[Phil the Salesman]

There’s only a couple things I agree with Phil on. I agree that his fatass wife Kat is an unfuckable bovine that needs to be kept off stream, and I agree all his fans are pathetic retards with no life prospects.

 

[Jasper Burnell the Third]

Is there something I’m not seeing? What is happening to the photons as they travel from his arm to his pig slits that is enabling this level of body dysmorphia?

This is probably the funniest shit this nigger has ever actually done, but I’m starting to think we are getting trolled.

 

[RougeRed]

The way you made it sound, I could tell you never used those words ever in your life.

This applies to almost everything he says. Phil's speech patterns are so fucking bizarre. I think it's from over a decade of not conversing with any other humans. He's existed in a vacuum for so long that his only exposure to new words is reading them in chat or the occasionaly word he takes from other lolcow content (and then overuses the shit out of it like a child learning a new phrase)

If he isn't pronouncing it wrong or using it wrong, he is putting a bizarre inflection on it. It's really hard to describe because sometimes it is so slight, but it creates with uncanny valley effect when he puts the a strange emphasis on a syllable or a certain word in a phrase that's incredibly irritating. It's especially noticeable on the letter T for some reason. He won't say "written", he'll say "writ-TEN".

Someone once described him as using the "Valley Girl emphasis" because he sometimes speaks with an upwards inflection at the end, but that's not the only time he does it. He will put an upwards inflection in the middle of a sentence at a point that doesn't make sense, or suddenly switch to what I call the "Kindergarten Teacher" accent like the one he used for talking to Kat or when he knows he is addressing retards while playing a baby game.

 

[SwiftBucks]

Im on a break just because the pokemon grift kills me as a pokemon fan and tcg enthusiast. Its been fun to pop in every week or so to see where the discussion is at.

The content is at an all time nadir right now. Not even that long ago watching him play games like the new zeldas was...okay. Kinda funny, not terrible. Truck sim was alright for its novelty.

Now? Same p-reeee-shtream on repeat. Unwatchable, unbelievably boring "gameplay" and I cant even hatewatch him open pokeymans. His arc has definitely hit the doldrums again and it could be like this for a very long time.

 

[shekelshoah666]

Is there something I’m not seeing? What is happening to the photons as they travel from his arm to his pig slits that is enabling this level of body dysmorphia?

This is probably the funniest shit this nigger has ever actually done, but I’m starting to think we are getting trolled.

He is legit full on Chantalmaxxing it's actually crazy. I bet he just feeds grok images of himself and has for months and it's totally warped his perception just like how Chantal full on believes she is smaller than she actually is because she never looks at herself besides in a camera filter or AI.

I wouldn't put it past him to eventually go full quartercuck and start messing with camera settings on stream to make himself look better or even flat out use filters.

 

[Burn In Hell Burnell]

Is there something I’m not seeing? What is happening to the photons as they travel from his arm to his pig slits that is enabling this level of body dysmorphia?

This is probably the funniest shit this nigger has ever actually done, but I’m starting to think we are getting trolled.

I had the same thought a couple times, but it's important to remember this pigger just ACTUALLY has an insane self-delusion about how he looks. He's mentioned without a trace of irony multiple times that he looked like a "younger Bill Murray."

It's almost admirable that a man so ugly can love himself so much, but in his case it's not because he accepts who he is, it's because his mental illness prevents him from seeing who he really is. It's like a terminal narcissist defense mechanism.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Is there something I’m not seeing? What is happening to the photons as they travel from his arm to his pig slits that is enabling this level of body dysmorphia?

I said it before in the thread but he has the polar opposite of the kind of body dysmorphia dudes at the gym have where they're fucking jacked and shredded to the gills in reality but when they look at themselves in the mirror they still think they're a weak, skinny dweeb.

 

[I Love Videogames 69]

I said it before in the thread but he has the polar opposite of the kind of body dysmorphia dudes at the gym have where they're fucking jacked and shredded to the gills in reality but when they look at themselves in the mirror they still think they're a weak, skinny dweeb.

He's getting to the point recently where he might be the GOAT of body dysmorphia, reverse style. Engenia Cooney or however you spell it is clearly the GOAT the 'normal' way body dysmorphia usually occurs

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

For someone who played it before, has played at least like 8 other Metroidvanias, played tons of classic Castlevania/Metroid/other platformers and was 4th place at EVO he is just fucking abysmal. I would've assumed he would mechanically have no issues with the game because he beat Silksong and Hollow Knight recently enough but nope he died in places I would only expect like first time Metroidvania players to die in.

He has someone guiding him through everything in chat telling him what to equip and where to go etc so it's just the typical pathetic DSP playthrough. He hardly even checks out anything for himself and has skipped tons of rooms/spots on the map and doesn't really even check to see if walls are breakable consistently.

SOTN is considered the easy entry point into the genre but DSP makes it look so much harder than it really is. His real issue is the same issue he has with every single game especially in the last few years he has like no sense of discovery so unless it is hammered into his brain and fed to him by the chat he is just never going to figure fucking anything out.

The thing to watch for (if he even makes it that far) is if he goes for the Crissaegrim, which is a late-game broken weapon that basically makes the game a joke. The thing is, you have to farm for it in the inverted castle. You’ll know if he suddenly comes up with a BS “I need to level” excuse and he starts grinding in the inverted library that someone’s told him about it.

 

[Shekelslovakia]

pigger

Pigger? That's offensive to pigs everywhere, call him "Pigler" because the way that he dictates his audience to give him 100% attention and their stem checks is like a certain fascist leader with the Charlie Chaplin mustache. Lol

 

[Zyklon C]

I'm surprised so many have come to the same conclusion that I have. DSP doesn't have opinions in the same way normal people do but rather his facsimile of opinions are based solely on whether he believes what he claims are his opinions will avoid discomfort or make him more comfortable.

I always rolled my eyes when people described pigroach as liberal or, more commonly, conservative -- he's not smart enough to hold even the basics of a political ideology and, as you said, his opinions basically depend on who he thinks (or hopes) his audience will be.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

I always rolled my eyes when people described pigroach as liberal or, more commonly, conservative -- he's not smart enough to hold even the basics of a political ideology and, as you said, his opinions basically depend on who he thinks (or hopes) his audience will be.

Phil lacks the intelligence to make these kinds of distinctions, especially this late into his career. He can only see in black and white - The Good People Doing Good Things(Phil and his dents' money) and The Bad People Doing Bad Things(Trowles ayund detractors). When DSPolitics came to be, the only comparisons he could make were to himself and his trowles. Basically, Phil is Zelensky and his detractors are Russian soldiers. In essence, he's stupid.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

The thing to watch for (if he even makes it that far) is if he goes for the Crissaegrim, which is a late-game broken weapon that basically makes the game a joke. The thing is, you have to farm for it in the inverted castle. You’ll know if he suddenly comes up with a BS “I need to level” excuse and he starts grinding in the inverted library that someone’s told him about it.

And part of that includes having a bunch of luck stat increasing gear for *reasons*.