DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Phil's Oddly Shaped Head]

 

[Normal-Style Human]

Speculation: that week he disappeared, something health related happened, and now he has to take meds to manage his sickness, resulting in him slowly losing weight.

You know why i think this? Because we still don't know what happened that week.
This is Phil Burnell we are talking about, he would have spilled the beans by now if it wasn't something really embarassing, the guy sucks at keeping secrets.

I have a feeling he will never talk about it because he's terrified of being made fun of, i guess this is why we are in the Health/Fitness Arc, because he wants to cope about him having diabetes/liver failure or some shit.

If it was health related, I really wonder if it was because of a stroke or blood pressure. He definitely had one since the facial paralysis is limited to his droopy mouth and not his forehead. However, I could just as easily imagine him staying oblivious to any serious symptoms he might be experiencing.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

If it was health related, I really wonder if it was because of a stroke or blood pressure. He definitely had one since the facial paralysis is limited to his droopy mouth and not his forehead. However, I could just as easily imagine him staying oblivious to any serious symptoms he might be experiencing.

oh my GAWD my left arm dropped my inputs! Look, it's completely numb, tuhuhuh. *snort* anyways, can we get some support for friday night fights? So far we've got only one tip from Jaxx Raxxor and I'd love to bring this back for next week.

 

[Shuma-Gorath]

Could it be possible that Phil's weight loss could be caused by depression? Just how much self-soothing Phil does every single day? I know the word "coping" has been ruined by the internet, but the amount of actual coping Phil does is just not normal. Every day he has to remind everyone how happy and successful he is, how NOW things are going good for him, unlike before when he was struggling and unhappy (also back then he insisted he was happy and doing well, but now it's for real). I know the topic of depression and Phil always turns into a shitstorm, but come on, there is zero chance Phil doesn't have it, just from a purely physical and mental point of view.

* Loveless marriage
* No friends
* No hobbies
* Never goes out
* Shit diet
* Shit sleep schedule
* Wife is fat as shit and he's embarrassed of her
* "Job" that he hates
* No one respects him and the whole world sees him as a joke
* Dealing every day with people making fun of him
* Financial instability
* Heavy alcohol drinking

Give me one good reason why Phil doesn't have depression and I'll concede, but no matter how much of an alien he is, Phil is still human, at least biologically. People need socialization, people need to go out to get some vitamin D, people need hobbies so they can distract themselves, people need some kind of approval, people need sex and bonding, people need physical activity. It's proven that doomscrolling is a source of depression as you're getting your dopamine receptors fried, now imagine when the doomscrolling is specifically about you. Phil has to crawl every single day to a stream where he knows people are there to laugh at him while doing something he has no passion for, only to then go drink and see people making fun of him. And you could feel bad for someone like that, but Phil is such a piece of shit he deserves it. This isn't a case of him being a good person and then trolled into being bad, he was a fucking piece of shit even when he had fans and friends, this is a hell of his own making and will continue to be because he refuses to ever accept he did anything wrong.

The counterargument against this is that Phil is so deluded thatt he can't possibly have depression as that requires a level of self-awareness he doesn't have, but I think that's different. I do think Phil is depressed but also that he's too emotionally retarded he just can't understand and process it. I think he is heavily depressed and at the same time he's too fucking stupid to realize it. He has every reason to be depressed, or at least enough reason for his body to be begging (heh) for a quick death. Everything about his lifestyle screams that his body is a cage, but I don't think he is capable of understanding depression as an abstraction because that's where the delusion kicks in. "How could I be depressed when I make money and have a wife?" I imagine he thinks. Despite having one of the coziest lives a person can have, Phil is constantly stressed. About money, about people making fun of him, about detractor memes, about Asmongold replying to his DMs. This weight loss started around the Sidescrollers/Kino Casino era, didn't it? Coincidentally when Phil truly started to lose it and act as deranged as he is today.

 

[InspiredReviewBrah]

So, I was doomscrolling my FYP on Twitttturrr a couple of days ago, and between people saying "NOTHING EVER HAPPENS" and AI slop videos of animals doing goofy shit, I saw a tweet (I'm not sure if it was in response to anything or not, though) where an Indian dude was deadass trying to make himself seem like the chad by creating AI art of him with a harem of White women. Thinking about that earlier today made me remember DSP's stupid AI art that made him look less dysgenic and also made me realize that DSP would be 100% at home in India and needs to permanently move there. Now, what do I mean? Let me explain. What I mean is thus:

1. Costs are lower in India.
2. The women in India are more attractive than Khat.
3. DSP's Renton Runt is likely bigger than the average Indian man's endowment of a whopping 3 inches.
4. DSP is a massive scammer and would be able to farm Izzat like you farm currency in a JP Gacha.
5. DSP hates Liberals and a LOT of voters in India are far-right and vote for the BJP.
6. DSP hates sexualized women and desires a motherly wife who will do everything for him.
7. DSP is a massive liar.
8. DSP's body is resistant to every disease known to man
9. DSP gives off a Negal aura and is a sentient Sonichu medallion, so India might actually balkanize.
10. DSP is gay and would actually like those weird third gender motherfuckers
11. DSP loves incest and is a mommy's boy. Seriously, I'm tryna jerk it to Indian women and all I see is "auntie" wtf.
12. DSP absolutely LOVES stealing money from others and could make good money doing so as a side hustle.
13. Overhead costs for his stream could be reduced if he had a bunch of Indians doing it instead of Duncan.
14. DSP loves making money off stupid people and rural Indians are extremely stupid.
15. DSP could play with the woodland critters since a lot of India is rural.
16. DSP absolutely LOVES scat and hairy men.
17. I want DSP to become even SCAMMIER. I want him to have Indians on call to beg for him, that'd be hilarious.
18. DSP would be able to live like a king with the browns working for pennies on the dollar.
19. DSP is a groomer (Leanna was 13!) and over 1/4 of all marriages in India involve children.
20. DSP could play the angle of "oh you're a bigot, don't you wanna help an Indian creator?" when begging.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Watching today's TBS lorestream on #DSPositive reminded me just how much of a Moebius Strip existence Phail has had for decades now. No matter how circuitous the route, over time you see the pattern and know he's going to end up at the exact same spot again.

Or perhaps a better metaphor would be Suetonius' wheel of history view of human existence -- that the world's wheel moved slower at times, faster at others, but it always covered the same ground over and over.

DSP often loops during his extended mah-nologs but his entire life is a wheel. He starts in one spot, says he's doing horrible, does his usual thing, eventually earns criticism, calls out the critics, declares he's trying to change, declares he's changed, says he's doing better than ever, circles back to the beginning again.

My biggest chuckle came when Phil was furiously DM'ing the person who made him the "broken" PC, outraged that he had to wake up at 7am to sort it.

 

[Factual OST Aficionado]

Posture looking good King
Ver archivo adjunto 8487718

As one of the few Resident Evil 6 enjoyers out there I respect Phil's idea of cosplaying its cover art, but thats a two people job. If you know, you know.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Did ya'll see Jersh scam the people who paid to see the Rekeita Body Cam footage? erverlord took the DSP-Pill.

IT WAS FOR THE REKIETA BODY CAM FOOTAGE TRAILER! TRAI-LUUUUUUR!

The counterargument against this is that Phil is so deluded thatt he can't possibly have depression as that requires a level of self-awareness he doesn't have, but I think that's different. I do think Phil is depressed but also that he's too emotionally retarded he just can't understand and process it.

I always found the talking point that Phail can't be depressed because he's too narcissistic and stupid to "understand" depression to be retarded, anyone can be genuinely depressed. Not to mention, there's this term called narcissistic collapse, which happens when the narcissist's omnipotent self-image actually gets rattled long-term and one of the ways it can manifest is depression. He has been completely fucking rattled in the past few years and I think he's suffered complete narcissistic collapse, especially after the Asmongold bump. One of the biggest streamers on the planet gave him carte blanche to pignotize a huge audience and he did so somewhat successfully by playing his "folksy old and knowledgable gamer" routine. There were no strings attached, no "snakening" planned, no plans of turning Phail into a Wack Packer, he's genuinely been given a "fair shake" by one of the big dogs of gaming khantent creation and it fizzled out in less than a week.
He copes with it now by reconstructing his omnipotent self-image by going on these absolutely delusional rants about how he's winning against everyone and how he's tricking them with Tzeentchian plans within plans within plans that are also somehow social experiments and how he's the most happy and sussessful man who has ever happied and sussessfulled.

 

[r/oldpeoplefacebook]

May be late but i saw this and it fried me

 

[Urusei Baktsura]

Does Phil still do the politics stuff on his show? I'd love to hear him talk on the new Henry Epstein files.

 

[Balr0g]

Does Phil still do the politics stuff on his show? I'd love to hear him talk on the new Henry Epstein files.

He wagequit DSPolitics a long time ago. And I am pretty sure he hasn't mentioned politics in a long time

And the DSPositive Reewind is just a good window into just how hypocritical DSP really is. he can shittalk anyone but don't you dare shittalk about him. Better talk to him in private so his fragile ego is not hurt in public

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

This TBS DSPositive ep is getting more buzz than usual and Phil has more free time than usual this week. Bet there’ll be some detectable clues that he watched in the coming week.

 

[neger psykolog]

Does Phil still do the politics stuff on his show? I'd love to hear him talk on the new Henry Epstein files.

The Epstein Files? Who cares about that shit when you have Derish?

 

[marlimar]

Give me one good reason why Phil doesn't have depression and I'll concede

I think of it as depression but a juvenile sort, like the sort of depressed you got in high school and didn't get invited (or explicitly told you aren't allowed to come) to the big weekend party that everyone else is attending... it's a visceral, impotent kind of depression that goes away as soon as mommy comes and gives you a hug and comforts you... except he doesn't talk to Linda and her replacement lacks in the empathy department (I DON'T CARE, FINISH YOUR STREAM).

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

Phil is constantly stressed. About money, about people making fun of him, about detractor memes, about Asmongold replying to his DMs. This weight loss started around the Sidescrollers/Kino Casino era, didn't it? Coincidentally when Phil truly started to lose it and act as deranged as he is today.

That's also when his rapid aging kind of started. A stressful environment makes you age faster. There's no way he's not dying his hairs at this point.

I love how it's all due to his own making proving once again the best (penultimate) detractor is Phil himself.

 

[Nate Dingus]

The Epstein Files? Who cares about that shit when you have Derish?

Epstein was a 4chan regular and was playing XBox Live in the early 2010s. There's a non-zero chance he was aware of who DSP is.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Epstein was a 4chan regular and was playing XBox Live in the early 2010s. There's a non-zero chance he was aware of who DSP is.

There is also a non-zero chance he quickscoped Phail in a CoD match.

 

[neger psykolog]

was playing XBox Live in the early 2010s

This isn't actually proven, even if it is funny.
An account registered under his email address was banned from Xbox Live. That means there could've been an Xbox in the house or whatever that some kids or the housekeeping staff or whoever were playing and got banned from and it wasn't actually Jeffrey himself. It could've even been in someone else's house/property entirely.

 

[DerichLovesSSI]

InspiredReviewBrah Phil would also be at home in India because think of all the Hogans he could pull with Kat’s dowry

 

[smug comporon]

Epstein was a 4chan regular and was playing XBox Live in the early 2010s. There's a non-zero chance he was aware of who DSP is.

Give it a couple of months and Phil will be talking about how Epstein was leaving comments on his early vids but DSP had to turn down these invites because they didn't seem right.