Create Your Own Lolcow

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  1. Tell them that any disadvantages they face in life are the fault of society and/or a majority demographic, and thus not in their control. Certain political movements will usually do this part for you.
  2. Tell them that the 'safest' way to address their mental health issues is to interact with other mentally ill people online instead of seeing a professional therapist.
  3. Introduce them to a community of people who think similarly and who encourage each other to continue living like this instead of taking ownership of their lives.
 
Find a NEET and buy them a furry costume.
 
By "normal, regular person" I'm going to assume they also cannot have an undiagnosed brain problem. Outside of the 'tism, the only way I've seen someone become a lolcow is through success via fame. It doesn't have to be a huge explosion in popularity, but it also can't be as minor as an updoot on a reddit post.
D_Tractor dijo:
Get them to become a professional YouTuber/blogger/freelance journalist/social media influencer. 99% success rate.
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This + some magic number of subscribers/followers. Does 1,000 work, at what threshold can you imagine someone becoming completely full of themselves? But this only gets the ball rolling, a normal person doesn't turn overnight like a autist would.

I think after that you'd have to trigger some sort of steady decline into obscurity, ideally caused by an "other" that the future lolcow can obsess over. A sudden decline is just funny, even if happened to you, most normally people would just laugh it off as "hey, I got my fifteen minutes!" A slow, steady decline is soul eroding, ego crushing, the constant back and forth between "all is lost" and "I can fix this" is not something a normal person will bounce back from. Once their following dwindles to a handful of monied enablers, and all of their "content" is cringe shit-flinging at whomever they're blaming for their decline at the moment, I think you'll have an excellent moo moo ready for milking.
 
A lolcow is the summation of consecutive bad decisions plus an ego so grand that any mistakes are not learned from and without corrections.
Thus, a steady supply of lols is always guaranteed.
 
Última edición:
Create a porn/fetish folder and make them browse through all of it. That or just have them browse Reddit or Twitter for too long.
 
Free money.

A lot of these people get government assistance or things like that, but if you wanted to take a normal person and make them a lolcow, I would just give them a lump sum. Maybe an investment from a seed fund into their business (which would give them praise leading to arrogance), or possibly just a lottery win. This, coupled with divorce or a loss of relationship in addition to their loneliness and a social media presence, I think, would do the trick.

If they also have to move across the country for some reason, this can adds to the lolcow potential.

I got to see this up close for a short time and I really think it's the formula.
 
I don't think lolcows can be created or destroyed, only herded. Usually, lolcows are a free-range type of creatures, you have to let them explore the various pastures of what other braver men do not contend to tread (Fur-Affinity Forums). Free-range cows give the best milk, you cannot manufacture laughs. The aspect of those who think they can create lolcows usually tend to be lolcows themselves, cows can only be milked and observed. Cows also have to have cognitive dissonance to their activities, hence how come a high percentage have rampant cognitive peculiarities such as autism, schizophrenia, dis-associative disorders, and so on. Social alienation does best in producing cows, it is a natural process.

This next generation of cows after the lockdowns of 2020 is going to be quite a treat because an entire generation of content has been manufactured beneath our very noses. If the forum surpasses Section 230 revisions, we may be up for a lolcow renaissance in the midrange to upper bound part of the decade.
 
You can only create lolcalves. Lolcows require something within themselves, something distorted, an inborn impetus to be awful. A pod of lolcalves may light the spark needed to activate the cowness, however.
 
SonicRed - Charles (deadname) Charlise (Troon name)
Tag: troon
Websites: revleft, fetlife
Jobs: NEET

SonicRed became a devout Pol Pot apologist shortly after joining his colleges socialist society. Footage of him emerged in a pair of denim shorts, fishnet stockings and a Hatsune Miku t shirt, screaming about how Vietnamese imperialists were behind the fall of the revolutionary Khmer Rouge.

Shortly afterwards, he joined a local LGBT group, and hit on the groups lesbian founder. When she stated she was exclusively interested in biological women, he began a successful campaign to have her ousted, accusing her of holding back the ‘struggle’ with ‘reactionary’ notions of the gender binary.

SonicRed became the groups leader, and continued to use this platform to talk about the underrepresentation of trans women in gaming.

Overweight, afflicted with male pattern baldness, SonicReds adult-baby fetish made him a target for trolls, who he accused of being funded by Trump.
 
General Tug Boat dijo:
I don't think lolcows can be created or destroyed, only herded. Usually, lolcows are a free-range type of creatures, you have to let them explore the various pastures of what other braver men do not contend to tread (Fur-Affinity Forums). Free-range cows give the best milk, you cannot manufacture laughs. The aspect of those who think they can create lolcows usually tend to be lolcows themselves, cows can only be milked and observed. Cows also have to have cognitive dissonance to their activities, hence how come a high percentage have rampant cognitive peculiarities such as autism, schizophrenia, dis-associative disorders, and so on. Social alienation does best in producing cows, it is a natural process.

This next generation of cows after the lockdowns of 2020 is going to be quite a treat because an entire generation of content has been manufactured beneath our very noses. If the forum surpasses Section 230 revisions, we may be up for a lolcow renaissance in the midrange to upper bound part of the decade.
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Munchausen by proxy does a number in rather, transforming a decent person into a lolcow. The rest of us would see if a cow has seemingly enough milk to be promoted as a lolcow. Since lockdown a certain topic became a hot topic that spawned one too many lolcows that milking became repetitive, however due to the nature of said topic there are plenty room of stranger and stranger tactics each time.
It's about TRAs and trannies, transgenderism.
 
Name: Gilbert Ford
Age: 31
Tag: Skitzocow
Alias: GoreanEmmissary
Occupation: NEET, former game developer.
Websites: Return of Kings, Chateau Heartiste, Twitter (banned), Youtube (banned), Twitch (banned), Gab, Wordpress personal page.

Mr. Ford has worked for no less than 14 indie game devs, and was forcibly booted from each and every one. The reason did not become clear until well into his bizarre stint on Youtube, where he began preaching the tenants of "Gorean" life (a series of old school fantasy novels) more specifically, the aspects of sexual behaviors and morays that the fictional world of Gor abided by. While this fandom does harbor a sort of BDSM sub-fandom, it is practiced primarily in a consensual fashion. GoreanEmmissary thinks this is not enough, and publicly advocates for it to be practiced in society as a whole and goes at length about how it needs to be implemented as the law of the land. Kicked out of virtually every RPG or video game forum spreading his gospel, which seemed to be his primary attempted evangelism grounds. Such tenants include

-All women are property of either their father or his choice of boyfriend, and may be used for any purpose, including snuff.
-You are allowed your neighbor's property by law if you can kill him in open combat.
-Trial by combat to determine guilt
-Children are also property and may also be killed at will by parents for any reason.
-Roaming appointed groups of armed men patrol and kill anyone guilty of "witchcraft" or "Soothsaying", both of which are vaguely defined.
-Rejection of all technology and medicine past the 17th century.

What elevated him from simple skitzo to full lolcow was the presentation in his videos. Imagine an unkempt, hasn't shaved since the Reagan administration, dead eyed heavy metal concert goer speaking in a monotone voice that can only be described as Alfred Hitchcock dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. Any critics are outed as "witches" or "reprobates", each and every one of them guilt of sodomy and demon worship. Death threats are common. So is threats of enslaving a critic's mother, wife/girlfriend or daughter if applicable. Female critics are informed universally that they will have no say with his manhood gagging them, along with elaborate bondage scenarios about them. Lives in the pool house of his sister and her husband's property, allowed to stay there purely on the condition he keeps his big mouth shut about his shit and only with his "loser crowd online". Claims to be working with like minded people on his own game studio that will "crush the SJW gaming scene", but otherwise has no prospects outside of the occasional article for Chateau Heartiste, Return of Kings, and Vox Populi (update: banned as well when DM's leaked of Ford threatening to forcibly turn Teddy Spaghetti into his troon oral slave).
 
Trappin in the Trap dijo:
You can only create lolcalves. Lolcows require something within themselves, something distorted, an inborn impetus to be awful. A pod of lolcalves may light the spark needed to activate the cowness, however.
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Lolcows, no matter the type, always share specific pathologies such as Dunning-Kruger and severe attention whoring, so I believe the formation process of a cow is not complex, what generates the content, and julay, are the particularities of the cow combined with those fundamental traits.
 
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