- Registrado
- 8 de Dic, 2014
We've all run into weird people before right?
Two days ago, me and my best friend decided to go out and browse through Wal-Mart late at night. (we live in a small town, that's what passes for fun around here) She got an incense burner shaped like a dragon and a skull-shaped fish tank decoration for her collection of cheap plastic skulls. After our little shopping spree, my friend said she wanted some ice cream, so we walked over to a nearby steak-n-shake.
We sat down and ordered our shit, then this guy walks in. He looked about middle age and walked with a cane. He didn't look particularly unkempt or anything, but you could tell he was poor/ lived in the country. He sat down in a booth near ours, facing away from the door. He got up about a minute later and sat at the booth directly next to ours and mentioned to the waiter that "you can't sit with your back to the door in these times." Him and the waiter struck up a conversation about survivalism. He had a pretty jovial way about him, and a 'lively' look in his eyes.
After they got done talking, My friend started examining her skull. The guy started chuckling, so my friend showed him the dragon. Now this is where shit hits the fan. This absolute stranger goes:
"Y'know, dragons aren't respected like they should be in western culture."
He spoke at length about how great dragons are and how bad it is to disrespect them.
"Do you guys know about the Chinese zodiac?"
"Yeah"
"You know which animal is the most powerful?"
*we pondered this, but didn't answer
"Yeah, the two most powerful are the dragon and the rat, both are so unappreciated."
*I quietly remarked to my friend about a buddy of ours who we always call "the rat"
"Y'know how I know this stuff?"
"How?"
He pulled the collar of his shirt down and revealed to us the source of his power: his giant dragon tattoo.
His next sermon would span into the issue of religion. He asked if we knew our blood type, and claimed he could correctly guess.
"Is the glass half empty or half full?"
"Half full, man." my friend replied
"You're O+ and he's O-, you're optimistic and he's a pessimist. You know how I know?"
"How?"
"Opposites attract."
*she's AB+, I think I'm O+. We're both pretty optimistic.
"Ah, I'm so good at teaching things... You know how I know all that stuff?"
"How?"
"I'm a new-age christian. Know what that is?"
"What?"
"I believe it all, god made it all."
He rambled about how godjesus gives him strength and so on. My friend mostly 'yeahed' and 'mhmed' everything he said. He was mostly speaking to her.
"I go to the Nazarene church, over by the school."
"Ah, me and Eldritch have been talking about going to a church."
*This is an in-joke. We've talked about going to a church and seeing how disruptive and edgy we can be before they throw us out.
I giggled
"So uhh... You're a believer and he's not?"
"No, I'm an atheist, and he worships fuckin' Thor or whatever."
*DONTRATUSOUTYOUWHORE
"Yeah, well I guess there's some truth to that."
I finally speak to him. "Yeah, I mean, every religion has it's myths that carry meani-"
He interrupts me with another schizophrenia-fueled monologue about about how great christianity is and how terrible it is when people turn their backs on god. He talked about how he was just divorced from a woman that turned her back on god and how she was a total brat, he joked she was like having an extra daughter. After we left, my friend said she heard him refer to me as weak directly, but I didn't hear it. He spoke too fast and mumbled at times.
"And you know, most people in the world are still children of god, you can tell because they have O type blood."
"Wait, isn't O type blood the rarest?"
"Naw, that's what they want you to believe. most people have O."
"Ahhh."
After nearly half an hour of this, we finally decided to hit the trail. We shook hands, he told us his name and implored us to come to his church. We said we would, I don't think we will.
tl;dr we met a prophet at steak-n-shake.
Two days ago, me and my best friend decided to go out and browse through Wal-Mart late at night. (we live in a small town, that's what passes for fun around here) She got an incense burner shaped like a dragon and a skull-shaped fish tank decoration for her collection of cheap plastic skulls. After our little shopping spree, my friend said she wanted some ice cream, so we walked over to a nearby steak-n-shake.
We sat down and ordered our shit, then this guy walks in. He looked about middle age and walked with a cane. He didn't look particularly unkempt or anything, but you could tell he was poor/ lived in the country. He sat down in a booth near ours, facing away from the door. He got up about a minute later and sat at the booth directly next to ours and mentioned to the waiter that "you can't sit with your back to the door in these times." Him and the waiter struck up a conversation about survivalism. He had a pretty jovial way about him, and a 'lively' look in his eyes.
After they got done talking, My friend started examining her skull. The guy started chuckling, so my friend showed him the dragon. Now this is where shit hits the fan. This absolute stranger goes:
"Y'know, dragons aren't respected like they should be in western culture."
He spoke at length about how great dragons are and how bad it is to disrespect them.
"Do you guys know about the Chinese zodiac?"
"Yeah"
"You know which animal is the most powerful?"
*we pondered this, but didn't answer
"Yeah, the two most powerful are the dragon and the rat, both are so unappreciated."
*I quietly remarked to my friend about a buddy of ours who we always call "the rat"
"Y'know how I know this stuff?"
"How?"
He pulled the collar of his shirt down and revealed to us the source of his power: his giant dragon tattoo.
His next sermon would span into the issue of religion. He asked if we knew our blood type, and claimed he could correctly guess.
"Is the glass half empty or half full?"
"Half full, man." my friend replied
"You're O+ and he's O-, you're optimistic and he's a pessimist. You know how I know?"
"How?"
"Opposites attract."
*she's AB+, I think I'm O+. We're both pretty optimistic.
"Ah, I'm so good at teaching things... You know how I know all that stuff?"
"How?"
"I'm a new-age christian. Know what that is?"
"What?"
"I believe it all, god made it all."
He rambled about how godjesus gives him strength and so on. My friend mostly 'yeahed' and 'mhmed' everything he said. He was mostly speaking to her.
"I go to the Nazarene church, over by the school."
"Ah, me and Eldritch have been talking about going to a church."
*This is an in-joke. We've talked about going to a church and seeing how disruptive and edgy we can be before they throw us out.
I giggled
"So uhh... You're a believer and he's not?"
"No, I'm an atheist, and he worships fuckin' Thor or whatever."
*DONTRATUSOUTYOUWHORE
"Yeah, well I guess there's some truth to that."
I finally speak to him. "Yeah, I mean, every religion has it's myths that carry meani-"
He interrupts me with another schizophrenia-fueled monologue about about how great christianity is and how terrible it is when people turn their backs on god. He talked about how he was just divorced from a woman that turned her back on god and how she was a total brat, he joked she was like having an extra daughter. After we left, my friend said she heard him refer to me as weak directly, but I didn't hear it. He spoke too fast and mumbled at times.
"And you know, most people in the world are still children of god, you can tell because they have O type blood."
"Wait, isn't O type blood the rarest?"
"Naw, that's what they want you to believe. most people have O."
"Ahhh."
After nearly half an hour of this, we finally decided to hit the trail. We shook hands, he told us his name and implored us to come to his church. We said we would, I don't think we will.
tl;dr we met a prophet at steak-n-shake.
