Corrupt-a-Wish

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I wished. But somehow, it's so shitty that it gets us both banned.

I wish for a taco.
The taco you wish for gives you explosive diarrhea the moment you take one bite of it and swallow. Now your toilet is painted a brown color and needs replacement, even though your home is now a biohazard.

I wish I was dead with my death leading to just a cessation of existence.
 
The taco you wish for gives you explosive diarrhea the moment you take one bite of it and swallow. Now your toilet is painted a brown color and needs replacement, even though your home is now a biohazard.

I wish I was dead with my death leading to just a cessation of existence.
You cannot report your findings to the living and people keep on sperging about religion and the afterlife long after you are gone.

I wish I had a giant mecha that wasn't creepy and depressing like Evangelion.
 
You cannot report your findings to the living and people keep on sperging about religion and the afterlife long after you are gone.

I wish I had a giant mecha that wasn't creepy and depressing like Evangelion.
At least I don't have to deal with the sperging. The wish didn't seem too bad, heh.

The giant mecha you have turns out to come from Armored Core. Now the world consist of being ruled by corporations holding out their wars with these giant mechs. To make it all worse, it's orchestrated by an AI who is doing this for the survival of humanity.

I wish for an uncorruptable wish.
Your uncorruptable wish is now a pure wish which unfortunately only means it can be wishful thinking.
 
I wish I had a giant mecha that wasn't creepy and depressing like Evangelion.
You wake up one morning to find a giant mecha resting halfway in your front yard and halfway in the street. The neighbors whose access to their own driveway is now blocked have called the police, who in turn contact the FBI. Upon further investigation, the 500lb drum bombs in the lower weapons hold are discovered, and you're arrested for possession of WMD. You go to federal-pound-me-in-the-ass prison forever.

I wish the guy down the street with the leaf blower would shut the fuck up.
 
I wish the FCC would get the stick out of their ass and drop their war against the internet.
The FCC drops their war against the internet. Unfortunately, an even greater threat takes the place. Now the politicians start an even more terrible war.

I wish the guy down the street with the leaf blower would shut the fuck up.
Because leaf blower guy has shutted up, he can no longer yell watch out when their is an oncoming car. 1 person died from an oncoming vehicle.

I wish was god emperor of the universe but without the evil horrors.
 
The FCC drops their war against the internet. Unfortunately, an even greater threat takes the place. Now the politicians start an even more terrible war.


Because leaf blower guy has shutted up, he can no longer yell watch out when their is an oncoming car. 1 person died from an oncoming vehicle.

I wish was god emperor of the universe but without the evil horrors.
Your job is really frustrating and unsatisfying because you have to manage the entire universe and people keep on screwing up. But at least the Fish-Speakers are pretty.

I wish for a twelve-inch pianist.
 
The pianist only plays Miley Cyrus covers.

EDIT: I wish I had a army of loyal badgers.
Your loyal badger army turns out to be one that is loyal to the badger king. They end up eviscerating you because you aren't a badger.

I wish the internet was merged with reality.

I killed them all for getting on my lawn.

I wish for a magic.
That magic is scatomancy.
 
Your loyal badger army turns out to be one that is loyal to the badger king. They end up eviscerating you because you aren't a badger.

I wish the internet was merged with reality.


That magic is scatomancy.

Unfunny forced memes invade your house and cause you to kill yourself.

I wish for C-no to fuck me.
 
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