Corrupt-a-Wish

[Krampus]

Granted, except its the kiwifarms user. It ends up being anticlimatic, short, and overall stupid.

I wish for Cory in the House.

 

[Yamyam]

Granted, but a it's a shitty anime spin off of it.

I wish for less mosquitos in the summer.

 

[Krampus]

Granted. Now there's EVEN MORE Mosquitoes in Spring.

I wish to be cool.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but you become so cool you die of hypothermia.

I wish a shark with a freaking laser attached to it's freaking head.

 

[Krampus]

Granted, however it quickly suffocates since its not in water.

I wish for Golgo to stop corrupting my wishes.

 

[Yamyam]

Granted but I can corupt them non stop.

I wish for a bag of potato chips.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but the potato chips are secretly expired yams and you need your stomach pumped.

I wish my cat wasn't gay for his brother.

 

[Yamyam]

Granted but now his brother is dead.

I wish to kill tumblr.com

 

[Motherboard]

Granted but now his brother is dead.

I wish to kill tumblr.com

Granted, but tumblr users create a new website that spreads to the youth far more quickly.

I wish I could afford better art supplies.

 

[Yamyam]

Granted but you sold your house for them.

I wish goku was in smash.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but Sakurai immediately nerfs him and gives him Lucario's moveset.

I wish octolings were playable in Splatoon.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but you ruin it for everyone and Nintendo bans you forever from owning nay of their consoles.

I wish @Madame Monochromatia looked like his or her avatar.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but I am bound to forever cause confusion of both yours and many others' sexualities due to my indiscernible gender appearance.

I wish I had some goddamn McDonald's right now.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but while you arrive it your combo is sold out.

I wish I had a cult of personality like Mussolini and Kennedy.

 

[Abethedemon]

You have a cult of personality, but it only comes after your horrible and untimely demise.
I wish Warhammer fantasy 8th edition was still played

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but then Hipsters start playing it and it doesn't become fun anymore.

I wish I could resurrect Zombie Lincoln to fight the vampires that keep asking me to donate blood.

 

[Yamyam]

Granted but they lose.

I wish for a dollar

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but it's Canadian Tire money. [Look it up]

I wish Kanye West joined the farm only to argue with Null.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Granted but it's Canadian Tire money. [Look it up]

I wish Kanye West joined the farm only to argue with Null.

Granted, but he ends up spending the entire time talking about his love of "fishsticks"
I wish I could decipher these convoluted FATAL rulebooks

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but you can't unsee what you read and as a result you look like your avatar.

I wish Null would notice me.