Cooking: where to start?

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Start off by cooking very basic things.
Here are some easy things to learn to start off:
1. Fry an egg
2. Bake a cake
3. Boil rice/pasta
4. Learn how to cut a knife and different cutting techniques
5. Make a simple meal. (Very easy to find online)

And most importantly... Learn about nutrition and safe food handling!! You will become sufficient enough to know what you should eat and what you should tend to avoid!
 
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Start with knife skills -- that is one of the most important parts of cooking. Practice cutting onions. dicing carrots, and basic butcher cuts. You're also going to want a high quality chef's knife as this is the cornerstone of cooking. It's better to invest in a good knife early on and learn how to take care of it and its edge than buying shitty walmart/supermarket knives. Remember - a dull knife is a dangerous thing in the kitchen.

Learn seasoning - you can have exactly the same ingredients create entirely different dishes with small tweaks to seasoning. No, hot sauce and all that retarded sucker punch flavouring methods is not 'seasoning' in a good way.

Learn how your oven and stove integrate with your pots and pans, their heat transfer efficiency; how quickly it goes from 0 to smoking. That will help when you actually cook because not all cookware is created equally.

Learn the different uses of oils and fats; their smoking points; etc.

Get a food thermometer; most cooks don't use them at home, but for someone with no experience it can both stop you from getting super fucking sick but also give you a thermal guideline on what a dish's peak core temp is.

Figure out your preferred cuisine and style -- this is going to heavily impact what you should prioritise learning. Western dishes tend to be cooked a lot slower than something like Chinese dishes.


Here are some basic practice foods and dishes; I'll let you find your own recipes:

Eggs - I know that sounds retarded, but eggs are actually difficult for most people to get right. The difference in how eggs are prepared is good for practicing cooking as it takes multiple forms, and is also super unforgiving so its pretty easy to figure out what went wrong if it goes tits up and correct it.

Mince (brown minced beef and stock with vegetables) forms the basis for a lot of dishes and can be turned in to Chilli, tacos, Beef bolognaise, sloppy joe etc. Here at least it's used as the foundation dish for most children to learn how to cook as it incorporates browning, the use of fats and flour, vegetables (and by proxy knife skills), reduction, simmer and boil control, seasoning, and how to use stock in dishes.

Chicken - practice cooking chicken, all cuts. Each cut of chicken has different meat and muscle types and as chicken is a fairly unassuming flavour it also serves as a good canvas for seasoning.

Potatoes - potatoes form the primary carb of western cuisine and just like eggs it can be used in various forms and techniques. Mash potato is somehow difficult to get right for people who don't come from a country in which its a primary side dish.

Soups - soups are a lot more forgiving than most other dishes, and often a lot cheaper to cook meaning you can practice a fair bit.


Cooking isn't hard, it's simply repetition and even more repetition. Knife skills are normally the hardest part for people following by temp control.

Unlike others I truly wouldn't recommend watching celebrity chef videos. You're a new born being expected to keep up with the final boss, when the final boss is designed to be for those with the skills in place already. Basically, celebrity chefs have an assumption that the person watching their videos has some kind of knowledge and practice.

Find a channel that specifically caters (pardon the pun) to newbies. There are also loads of places that do actual cooking lesson.

The best place I honestly think you should try is your family if you're close to them and on good terms. If your parents or grandparents cook literally just ask them to help you learn. Passing down cooking knowledge is literally one of the most primitive human constructs as far as passing knowledge from one generation to the other goes, and chances are your family members would appreciate being able to show you.
 
The importance of good knives really can't be stressed enough. Buy two quality knives from an actual manufacturer (don't mess with "good deals online" yet), a large one and a small one. Something like a Victorinox santoku isn't terribly expensive and that thing alone is infinitely more useful, versatile and long lasting than a full prepackaged set of supermarket knives, pair it with a little blade for precise stuff and you're set for almost everything you'll perform for a long time. Supplement later as needed, you'll know when you need more.
 
don't do baking for a while, or go balls-deep into it immediately
it's a big fucking chemistry hassle and a shitload of cleanup
That's depending on what you do. I literally started baking at age 10 with cookies and brownies. We had a Betty Crocker cookbook from the '60s and since I read everything I saw, I read something for a pound cake and thought this looks easy, and it was. Then I used to make Toll House cookie brownies, about the laziest way to make something like cookies. It's basically mix up the cookie dough then put it all in a 13x9 pan.
Buy crockpot.
Put things you like in crockpot.
It will still be weaksauce if you don't at least sear the meat first, and generally, if it has onions, celery, carrots and the like in it, you start with those, remove them, sear, deglaze, and add the rest of your liquid and other ingredients.

It will be edible, but not really good and savory.

Also bay leaves are your friends. Don't buy the meme about them being a placebo.
 
That's depending on what you do. I literally started baking at age 10 with cookies and brownies. We had a Betty Crocker cookbook from the '60s and since I read everything I saw, I read something for a pound cake and thought this looks easy, and it was. Then I used to make Toll House cookie brownies, about the laziest way to make something like cookies. It's basically mix up the cookie dough then put it all in a 13x9 pan.
I really really really hate cleaning up after dough
 
Get lots of rice. Long grain basmati is my favorite.
Basmati is God-tier. If you think rice is just boring starchy crap, try basmati. It's actually worth eating with nothing but butter and maybe soy sauce or fish sauce.
If you're "just at the age where I have to cook for myself" you might be retarded, you should know how to cook from a fairly young age
Yes, should, but a tragic number of people get into adulthood completely clueless, whether due to a failure of their parents or just some kind of dumb learned helplessness that it's "hard" to do it.

Also another site where you can put a list of ingredients you have in and it will suggest recipes:

And a 4chan's /ck/ related recipe site:
I really really really hate cleaning up after dough
I've never really found it that hard. I think the thing I hate cleaning up most is if you bake French Onion soup and melt cheese on top until it's crisp and browned. That shit on the rim of the crocks is awful. I remember when I was a dishwasher those were my least favorite and even the industrial dishwasher we had couldn't manage it without intense scrubbing by hand.
 
oh come on, dump the shit in, hit the button, wait a while
might as well be cooking up moonshine
Know your audience, he likely doesn't even know he can make a weeks worth of stew while he's at work, much less the carb/no carb rule for chicks he's cooking for.
May as well make the point, if you're looking to get laid, lay off the carbs, she'll feel bloated and unsexy. If she's feeling bad, and you're not getting laid anyway, load her up with a plate of carbs and fat, and she'll have contented feelings for you.

An example of fat and carbs is twice baked potatoes where you load the carbs with sour cream, melted butter, and cheese.

Most modern cooking is simple ingredients, and don't trust recipes online, unless they're in video form from start to finish.
 
It will still be weaksauce if you don't at least sear the meat first, and generally, if it has onions, celery, carrots and the like in it, you start with those, remove them, sear, deglaze, and add the rest of your liquid and other ingredients.

It will be edible, but not really good and savory.

Also bay leaves are your friends. Don't buy the meme about them being a placebo.
I feel like the only one who did the homework, super new to cooking, spent years eating at the military mess hall, has no real clue where to start.

Yes, mirepoix is awesome, if he even knows what that is, and Bay leaves go great in stews, and tomato sauces(add minced or crushed garlic). I agree with your prep, and sear points, but I was going with the idea simple, and edible is actually easy.

Also, salt the shit out of your pasta water, and take it easy on seasoning everything else until you get the hang of it. You can always add more later, or next time, don't ruin your food going wild with seasonings.
 
Cooking is not rocket science.
But it is Science.

My suggestion is to..find a "Totally Legal copy" tm of a series called Good Eats, it doesn't only give good recipes but the episodes break down the science behind the food, they aren't in super duper HD but 11 seasons of recipes is a perfect way to learn.
 
But it is Science.

My suggestion is to..find a "Totally Legal copy" tm of a series called Good Eats, it doesn't only give good recipes but the episodes break down the science behind the food, they aren't in super duper HD but 11 seasons of recipes is a perfect way to learn.
yeah there's some odds and ends I disagree with but Good Eats is def "so you're autistic and want to cook"
 
Also mandatory haha meme post. I know someone used this joke. I don''t care. It gives me a chance to use this image.

Where do you start when cooking? By rejecting modernity and going

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I don't understand what this means. Getting where? What are you attempting to achieve beyond cooking something according to the directions provided?
Understanding why these methods and flavor combinations are used in recipes and how to apply them to other dishes/ingredients.
 
Unlike others I truly wouldn't recommend watching celebrity chef videos.
I'd make an exception for the Ramsay short cookery videos. He doesn't pull his usual bullshit persona, just deals out basics in a concise, short way where you can watch a video a couple minutes long and know where to start with something.
 
Also mandatory haha meme post. I know someone used this joke. I don''t care. It gives me a chance to use this image.

Where do you start when cooking? By rejecting modernity and going

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if we're reheating leftover jokes there's a good one from Are You Being Served? when the immediate boss is explaining to his underlings the wisdom he learned serving during The War was something to the effect of "Cooking is a simple enough matter. That's why we let women do it!"
 
Get an Instant Pot (or off-brand electric pressure cooker). You can probably find one on sale around Black Friday. You don't need a rice cooker if you have a pressure cooker, but it can be convenient to have both so you can make the rice separately from some stir fry, curry, etc. Learn to make dried beans or pulled meat in a pressure cooker.

If you don't have a lot of free time, try making meals in bulk and freezing (e.g. chili or something). Speaking of chili, you can use that as the basis for dead easy meals, like shepherd's pie or chili spaghetti. Making pizza from scratch can become very easy once you get good at it. What do you even eat anyway?
 
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