Okay, second try. Well, the first try I just hit the photo button and took a picture of the grass and then talked for five minutes. So, blah blah.
Okay, so I'll just run through the quick recap. I got a second trash can. Let's just start talking about it.
I was very happy about it. This thumbnail was just supposed to be a thumbnail and it's so damn good. It's like, I gotta do a video that lives up to this thumbnail.
And I probably talked about some other stupid shit. Oh, I was talking about how much money I've made on YouTube, which is not a lot. And now it's basically nothing.
But anyway, so Supergirl is a woke flop, except for everyone I know who saw it liked it. You know, the thing about going to movies is you have to actually watch them. If you watch them, they're often quite good.
If you review them by reading the Wikipedia plot summary and watching the trailers, yeah, they're going to be bad because, well, you're an idiot. Why? How? What? But anyway, I made this, you know, just had a funny thought last night. Because the main thing I always think about is what a waste of life the culture war is.
Well, let me clarify. What a waste the culture war is after the culture war is over. But that's all you have.
It's the only way you make money. It's the only way you can connect with people. And so you're just going to try and keep going.
So what do we have for the last few years? Every movie that comes out, they spend a year trashing it beforehand. And then they celebrate it being a woke flop. And then we move on.
So they're finishing Supergirl. So now next up is The Odyssey. It's funny.
They get the information that Elliot, sorry, Ellen Page is not Achilles. And now they're all writing. It's like, oh my gosh.
So Ellen Page is not Achilles. It's like, yeah, he never was. She never was.
You guys, you guys jumped to a conclusion. And then it was eventually dismissed. You're like, oh, put out that fire.
It's like, it's the fire you set. Nobody actually thought that Christopher Nolan, who doesn't even have a cell phone, was somehow doing culture war tricks from 2018. I'm pretty sure, as I've said before, I'm pretty sure he didn't know that Ellen had transitioned.
And then like invited her in for interviews like, oh, you seem to be a chap now. Well, that's good because there's more male roles in this script than female. So you will be Sinon, whoever the hell Sinon is.
I forgot to look it up. But Ellen Page is Sinon. But anyway, so my views have gone up, which is a problem because I was looking to wrap up the channel.
So I was like, okay, let me be abrasive enough that it gets below a thousand. Then I can say, oh, I don't even get a thousand views. So I just shut it down.
But my average views, I mean, just over the last week have doubled because I think an inflection point has been hit. When I started the channel, it was the opposite. It was there was so much left-wing propaganda out there.
They're just saying like, hey, no, that's not true. Here's why. That was shocking.
And it made people volcanically angry and it got attention. And then things got better. And then I started roasting the right.
And then, oh my God, Zag's gone crazy. It's like, what is going crazy? It's something that happens in the Flintstones. Like you bump your head.
I'm crazy now. What is that? Sudden onset schizophrenia at the age of 50? No, it's very simple. I've said this a hundred times over the last three years.
I got caught up on a lot of late books, so I had time to actually go to the movies. And after trusting all these right-wing shitheads, I found out that they are liars. I mean, they lie about a lot of stuff, including actually seeing the movie.
Drinker just reviewed, I just did air quotes there, Supergirl. All he talked about was stuff in the Wikipedia plot summary and the trailers. He didn't see the movie.
And when I started saying this two years ago, it was a huge freaking controversy. And now it's common knowledge. But it's such a waste of life to fall into this pit of despair, where the most mediocre men who ever existed hold everyone else to the highest expectations, imaginable, and declare everything, everything to be a failure.
It's funny. I saw this one, you know, when YouTube tells you, oh, this channel has a new video. And it's like, Supergirl is an abject failure.
It's like, oh, really? Did Supergirl start a podcast where she complains about Disney princess movies? Because to me, that's abject failure. No matter how many super chats. But I just want to talk to you about something very basic, because most of you are not running these YouTube channels.
You're hate watching this video because somebody told you, Zach had another meltdown. How do you have a meltdown every day? At some point, isn't it the person who's saying that everyone else has a meltdown? They're having the meltdown. I'm fine.
Don't worry about me. But there's always these like, it's like, oh, Zach went crazy when Furiosa came out and it flopped. It's like, no, I got annoyed.
Because I actually saw Furiosa after hearing all this bullshit about it. And then even when they said it, they go, oh, it's actually not Girlboss. But it was perceived as Girlboss.
Who created the perception, asshole? Who did videos and tweets and live streams and podcasts for a fucking year saying it was a Girlboss movie? She's not a Girlboss. She's a Girl Slave. She's a slave who at the end becomes a slave with privileges.
She gets promoted as a slave. And that's the end of the movie. That's not being a Girlboss.
That's being a Girl Slave. Girl Slave. But now they're all up in arms because a black person is in The Odyssey.
You know what, you know, a black person is also in Your Mama. But anyway, so to me, the really bad casting is Matt Damon. All I see is a suburban dad.
When he's dressed as Odysseus, I go, oh, that's a suburban dad on Halloween going to a party, block party, and he's dressed as Odysseus. Like nothing. I just see Matt Damon.
That's it. Um, but it's such a waste of life. And I got one of those, these weird gay breakup letters that I get every couple of days was like, Dear Zach, you changed.
And then they just repeat a bunch of stuff. Some YouTube shithead said about me. Uh, it's like, ever since you went crazy, it's like, what? What are you talking about? Um, but one guy, he's like, you know who you are? You're Cypher from The Matrix.
You just want to live in a dreamland. It's like, I leave the house. Leaving the house is unplugging from The Matrix.
You are online all the time. Because one thing I was asking, because I got one buddy, he's basically normal, but he still kind of listens to these channels. They're like, oh, I saw Supergirl.
It was woke. I go, how was it woke? He goes, it was Girlboss. It's like, how was it Girlboss? It's like, whatever.
I just didn't like it. She had weird teeth. It's like, she does have weird teeth.
Objectively, she has weird teeth. But it's not woke. It's not Girlboss.
That's why they're giving these weird, vague criticisms. Like, the script should have been better. Oh, really? How? And then they write these Unabomber manifestos.
Tell me how the script should have been better. Um, now, I did see one person who read the whole miniseries, Uh, Woman of Tomorrow by Tom King. I actually just, I think I just read the first issue.
I stopped because the artist, Billquist, Bill Key Everly, really good artist, but they, I'm not sure if it's a man or a woman, they drew Supergirl looking like a Barbie doll. So, I didn't believe that a Barbie doll was getting drunk and getting in bar fights with no powers. So, I was like, eh.
Millie Alcock. Trying to be nice. She does look like she would get drunk and get in a bar fight.
Not that she'd win a bar fight, but I can just, she's just getting super sloppy. That might explain the teeth. That was mean, but actually kind of funny also a little bit too.
Um, it's funnier than drunk. Ha ha, she looks like a caveman. Yeah, you're not exactly Brad Pitt yourself there, buddy.
Um, but um, he was like, yeah, you're cyphering. You just want to live in a dream world. It's like, well, actually, I'm more like Morpheus, but that's not patting myself on the back because if you watch the trilogy, there's something really interesting they do with Morpheus.
In the first movie, he's like the coolest guy ever. Then they go to the real world. They go to Zion and you see people don't actually like Morpheus.
He's a zealot. He's weird. He's a nerd.
Like, he's a ship captain, but he's one among many and everyone just talks about, talks to him like straight to his face in front of his girl. Like he's a stupid asshole. They're like, okay, well, is that one of your prophecies Morpheus? Whatever.
But there is an interesting question because if you live in this matrix that the right wing has created, that every movie's a flop, that everything lost a hundred billion dollars, that everybody hates you, everybody wants to kill you, you do get dopamine. But like every movie I've seen, I wasn't supposed to see except for like He-Man. Oh, don't go see that.
It's woke. Oh, don't go. So what am I supposed to do? I'm just supposed to sit at home like a nerd watching podcasts and live streams and tipping dudes so they talk? Dude.
Actually, did I say this anecdote or I think I said this in the last one. So I was never a fan of the original Star Trek series, but I remember one of the things that happened a bunch of times is Kirk would get in this like debate with like a AI or a computer or an entity or a God. And he's like, I know everything.
I am all knowing. It's like define love. And then the robot would be like, love is illogical and sparks would come out.
I would love for like Kirk to like confront one of these cosmic entities. It's like, how could you make conservative YouTube more gay? They'd be like, this is impossible. Conservative YouTube is already infinitely gay.
You cannot increase infinity. And then sparks would shoot out. But it's so gay.
It's so like, I'm gonna pay a man to talk to me. I'm gonna pay a man like, hey, hey, man, I just gave you a tip. Can you repeat my own words back? But and it's all these guys like these really catty campy guys like lowering their voice an octave to talk about Moana three.
It's like, you're so gay. And they'll be fine except for your thing is like, you hate these stuff. And you're super tough and masculine.
You're the biggest pussies, crybabies, closet cases the world has ever seen. But getting back to Morpheus where the guy calls me cipher because I want to live in a dream world except for I go out of the house and he doesn't. So you're living in the dream world.
But reality is not fun. A lot of times I would always you know, look at the movies and it was like Zion sucks. Yeah, they have little parties but you know, it stinks.
What do you think a bunch of people living underground eating like algae soup and they're dancing? You know how bad that would smell? I mean, there's still joys you can get a promotion. Oh, I'm a ship captain. People still get pussy.
What was that one guy? He goes into his house. He's like, where's my pussy? Which is an awkward way to say it. That's, that's a weird way to say it.
But you know, he's been on an operation for a couple weeks, comes home to his wife wants a pussy. But where's my pussy? It's just, it feels like that was translated into like several other languages and translate it back into English. He's like, so my line is where's my pussy at? Because he wants some pussy.
I don't think you would say it that way. But yeah, reality is can be quite cold and brutal. But and I even had a conversation with Chad GPT.
I was like, what was the advantage of breaking someone out of the matrix? And the reality was that it was real. It was a real life instead of a fake life. I would contend that reality is not like Zion.
That reality, our reality, going out with your friends and going to concerts and going to movies is much better than the false reality created by conservative YouTube, which is stay inside all the time, get puffy, fat and inflamed. Uh, only be attracted to one woman. That's super gay.
That's never existed in any friend group. There are women that everyone agrees upon, but they're like, they should have cast Sydney Sweeney. It's like, okay, Sydney Sweeney doesn't look like she would get in bar fights.
Millie Alcock looks like she would get in bar fights for the character. Millie Alcock was a lot better than Sydney Sweeney. Also, you're gay guys pretending to be attracted to her.
So shut up. Um, but this real world we're in earth, it's a lot better than Zion. It's beautiful and it's fun and it's exciting and there are new experiences or you can sit inside.
So people make up all these weird theories that I went crazy, but I just got unplugged. Now, basically I unplugged myself because I caught up on a bunch of late books. I started going out to movies and I realized, Oh shit, critical drinker lies a lot.
Basically in every review, he fakes reviews. This is a huge problem for a checks notes movie reviewer. And I make no money.
I make $150 a month from YouTube. I do it because I got unplugged and it's like, Oh, going out with friends is a lot more fun than sitting at home and watching a podcast and tipping a dude to talk to you. Um, that most of the movies I've seen have been good.
And the few I didn't see at least makes a funny story. It's like, Oh, how was that movie? Oh, it sucked. And then there was like a power out.
It's not a big deal. I've seen, I don't know, the last two years. Well, the last three years since I got unplugged from the matrix, 50 movies at the theaters.
I think there was maybe three I didn't like. And I've got a pretty limited palette for movies. Like I don't like horror.
I don't like thrillers. I don't like historical. I don't like rom-coms.
I like action, sci-fi, superhero. That's it. I'm like three out of 50 were bad.
But how many of those would I have missed if I would have continued to listen? If I would have continued to waste my life, I probably would have seen three of them. That's it. So I feel good in my decision.
I feel like I unplugged at the right time. I wish I would have done it earlier because I, but I can go back and rewatch that stuff. So as I mentioned over the last couple of years, so I've reevaluated a bunch of stuff.
Ahsoka was good. Falcon and the Winter Soldier was good. Echo wasn't good.
But it's been way more good things that I missed out on than bad things. And so it's like, oh, you know, it would have been fun during lockdown to watch Falcon and Winter Soldier if I wouldn't have been scared away from it. But I can watch it now.
So that was fun. I try things out. Sometimes they're kind of good.
They got this My Adventures with Superman. It's like an anime on, I guess it's HBO Max. Every season there's like two or three episodes that are very action heavy, and I like those.
I tried for season three. I watched the first two. I was like, I'll just come back for the season finale where there's like a big fight stretched over two or three episodes.
Last one was like, it's the Toy Man and he's silly. And, and what's his name? Jimmy Olsen wants to date Supergirl, but he's shy. It's like, yeah, miss me with this gay shit.
But I'm looking forward to Clayface and I'm looking forward to what was the other Batman, the Batman that's on Prime. That was actually pretty good. Again, something I would have been scared away from.
Don't, don't waste your life. That's my point. You're wasting your life.
You're wasting your life for most of you guys. You guys got like two decades left, two or three, and you got like one in full health. Don't waste your life inside watching a bunch of bloated closet cases pretend to watch movies.
I just saw this movie, but I'm only going to mention what's in the Wikipedia plot summary in the trailers. Yeah, I used to lie like that in elementary school. Oh, I just saw Predator.
Oh, what happened? I would just mention whatever it was like in the 30 second commercial during 60 minutes, which is all I saw of it or whatever Siskel and Ebert said. Go out. It's not going to be guaranteed.
You know, three out of 50 movies you see won't be good. Go out with your friends. Go eat hot dogs.
Get the, get the Slurpee. I like the Slurpee. I've been going with the Slurpee lately because they're doing that, the machine where it has all the sodas in one, but they all go through the same nozzle.
So every soda tastes like all sodas. I hate that. Um, so, uh, yeah, I get the, the, the cherry Coke Slurpee and a hot dog.
I got, I have a friend. He was a hot dog guy. He's starting to go over to the pretzel with the cheese on it.
And you know what? I'm just saying I'm a hot dog guy, but I don't know. I might, I might try. I might, you know, I might go check out what it's like to just go in and just have a Slurpee and a pretzel.
I feel like it should be pretty good. It wouldn't be a hot dog. Maybe both, but that would probably be too much.
Maybe I'll just take a couple bites of hot. You see when I say life, it's fun. Go out, live it, go out, do stuff.
Don't sit inside listening to bloated bearded men, most of whom are closet cases, lie to you about movies they pretended to see. Live life, man. Anyway, earth is better than Zion.
Thanks for watching.
[SPOILER/]
Eat it Throat Goat
