Chris has been arrested

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Ralph's pancreas
You know, when Ralph’s transplant pig heart is finally too clogged to pump anymore of his cholesterol blood, I’m gonna feel kinda sad for the poor firemen who have to try to remove his giant bloated corpse. Maybe it won’t be possible to move his carcass and they will have to use dynamite like they do with beached whales.
 
y'all act like he would be able to get any lawyer to agree to represent him. Maybe Guiliani would if he weren't debarred but no way is any lawyer gonna think they have a chance. He is gonna be stuck with whatever public defense lawyer he gets.
Lawyers will trip over themselves to represent Chris, bro. This is the kind of weird shit those court jews live for. It's a unique war story for them and major source of advertising.
 
"Stop laughing you freak this isn't funny. Now the whole fucking site is on fire because of what you did"

"I know. Ain't it beautiful?"

 
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