Childhood memories

[John Titor]

The very earliest memory was when my parents were teaching me to write my own name. I'd say I was around 3 or 4 at the time.

 

[Dork Of Ages]

Not sure how memorable it is, but basically just playing GTA Vice City on the TV room when I was five. That was a pretty damn sunny day.

 

[Dollars2010]

I grew up in the midst of a forest up in northern Minnesota and when I was five I would roam around the forest, where I could come across animal bones. I would take the bones, bring them home and hide them under the porch, because I thought they were cool and I could create monster from them. Eventually it started to smell and my dad got angry and discovered my stash of bones and promptly got rid of it. I was very upset.

 

[klystron]

I grew up in the midst of a forest up in northern Minnesota and when I was five I would roam around the forest, where I could come across animal bones. I would take the bones, bring them home and hide them under the porch, because I thought they were cool and I could create monster from them. Eventually it started to smell and my dad got angry and discovered my stash of bones and promptly got rid of it. I was very upset.

We need both a positive and negative rating for "scary." I'd rate this positive though.

My earliest memory is when I was 3 I remember mom would brush my teeth. I'd sit on the toilet (lid down) and she'd stand in front of me and brush. Or she'd sit down on it and I'd sit on her lap. One day I went to wait for her (I enjoyed the time with my mom) and I didn't look before sitting. Both the lid and the seat were up. I was stuck in this toilet like an upside down crab frantically flailing my arms and legs trying to get out but couldn't. My mom had to pull me out and of course my PJs were all soaked back there.

I got revenge though because a year later I wondered what was in that toilet so I lifted up the tank lid to look inside. Then I dropped the tank lid. It fell right through the tank and through the bowl, destroying everything on the way down. It hit the drain pipe below and shattered. Water gushing everywhere. More pouring out of the supply line. The whole mess cost dad about $800 and he was royally pissed.

 

[StallChaser]

When I was really little, my mom would take me along with her to run errands. One time, when I was about 5, we were leaving the bank and walked past a woman coming in. I remember asking her "are you pregnant?" I don't remember if she was actually pregnant or just fat. Just that my mom told me it was really rude, and me having no idea why.

 

[cypocryphy]

Driving with my Dad during a big thunderstorm while listening to "Tunnel Of Love" by Bruce Springsteen.

 

[Ancani]

Oh God, I had an...interesting childhood. Here are a few of the highlights?

• In second grade, this fourth grader liked to hassle me a lot (not sure I'd call it full-fledged bullying, but he was a dick). I decided that I was going to, and I quote, "kick his butt." The issue is that A. I was extremely literal-minded and thus thought it referred specifically to kicking and specifically to one's ass, and B. I somehow had it in my head that the crotch qualified as part of the ass, and long story short, I wound up kicking a fourth grader in the dick.
• In fourth grade, my teacher was kind of an ass sometimes--she was alright a lot of the time but sometimes she could be a massive cunt. One day I'd worn a sweatshirt over a T-shirt to school, as it was cool outside, but it was warm enough in the classroom that I decided to take the sweatshirt off. Trouble was, it managed to snag the edge of my T-shirt, pulling it up and exposing my nipple to the teacher. Her response was to get mad at me and say "This is a classroom, not a strip club!". I shit you not, that is actually what she said.
• I used to come up with elaborate LARP scenarios with my friends in elementary school--sometimes based on shows or books or games, but sometimes more or less original ideas. This is probably pretty normal among young children. I'm not sure, however, that the amount of characters I killed off was normal for a goddamn seven-year-old. (As a bonus, they were almost always characters I really liked.)
• In either first or second grade, I was at my friend Julia's house, and we decided that it'd be a good idea to do what amounted to a two-person three-legged race. In roller skates. Down a rough asphalt hill. Obviously, we crashed...and since I had been wearing a dress (or shorts, but I think it was a dress?), I got some awful road rash on my thigh. Like, the side of my thigh was all raw and gross. Hurt like hell.
• I also once punched my first-grade teacher, but she was a hideously abusive sadist (like, genuinely abusive--I'm amazed she never got fired, especially since many, many parents complained about her actions and behavior), so I don't actually regret that one.

 

[Carlos Thin]

When I was about 4, the local raccoons had come from the forest and invaded our yard during a party (don't know what for), they were probably rabid and at least not safe for little kids, so my mother sent me and the rest of the kids into the house. Then my mother and my grandfather (her father) had a big argument, he wanted to go outside and shoot them, but my mom wanted the cops over to take care of the situation (she didn't want us to see grampa shooting raccoons in cold blood.) My grandfather not being one to be dissuaded from anything told my mom to call the police, but he went outside and shot the raccoons anyway. My mom tried to explain what happened to us, I think my sister and a few others were crying, but I took it in stride. I thought if grampa had done anything, he must have done it for a reason.

 

[Kitlen]

As most people I have told/shown find this extremely hilarious, I will share.
In third grade I was obsessed with dogs, like to the point of mania. Almost every Saturday I would read my Dog Breeders Bible and check out books on dogs from the library. I decided I wanted to be a dog breeder so I could constantly surrounded by puppies.
Needless to say, I was teased ruthlessly at school for this (on top of some already considerably bad bullying). But I was determined, I wanted to be a dog breeder, damn it.
My parents found this obsession "cute" at first, but the last straw came when I told them what I was going to be for Halloween: a dog breeder.
My mom tried so hard to dissuade me, she asked if I wanted to be something else, like a jester or fulfill my childhood dream of wanting to be a Pachysephalosaurus. Nope, I was determined, dog breeder it was.
My best friend who I had known since I was three years old went trick or treating with me, she stood by me the entire time even when people laughed or gave me weird looks for being a dog breeder. Honestly, she is the most loyal person I know.
But there I was, Halloween and I was decked out to the nines. I subconsciously went for the lesbian/dyke look, complete with vest and khaki shorts. Then pinned many of my stuffed animals to said vest. Looking back, I wonder how I came out so socially adjusted today.
Pic related.

 

[Mechanism Eight]

I remember wanting to be a dinosaur when I grew up.

 

[Kitlen]

Me too! What kind of dino did you want to be?

 

[Teddy]

Bump

(A strange memory)

2008. The year Obama was elected. I was 11 at the time and remember being very happy about it. The only one who wasn't happy in my family was my Dad.

Around 2007-2009, we (only my school I hope) were pretty much "indoctrinated" into liking Obama and thinking he was the "Great hope". The day after the man was elected, I remember everyone being happy and saying stuff like "Obama's cool!" The only kids who weren't happy were these Asian twins. I asked them why they weren't happy and they said that Obama will "ruined schools ." I looked at them weirdly and just walked away.

It's really strange looking back at how we were forced into liking a president and thought kids who didn't like him were crazy. Perhaps this has always been the case, but it leaves me to wonder what schools will say to kids around ages 5-12 in this upcoming election. Maybe it was just my school and I'm overreacting. I mean, I do live in forever blue state California.

I also remember stumbling onto a video on YouTube titled "Idiots who voted for Obama". It really creeped me out because of some chant they used in the beginning and I never watched the whole thing. It's probably deleted now.

Despite the weird things happening in the political world, I was still a kid, thus didn't care. I spent my days going to school, playing outside, anime, cartoons, etc.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

When I was in elementary school sex-ed I there were lots of things that were taught quite early (I would say too early but it probably is better than too late or not at all) which due to my lack of understanding I acted upon in bizarre manners.

• In the lecture the teacher said that we should always watch our drinks because otherwise someone could put ketamine in them and make us be physically there but not mentally and thus we could be taken advantage of - especially girls. I am (and was) a boy but I interpreted that as girls do their homework better than boys do and that if I drink anything in any context without properly figuring out that nobody had put ketamine in it then I was at risk for bullies to steal my homework (being an overachiever) so up to this day I continue to subconsciously cover my drinks to ensure that no homework bandits come (and that it was a conditioned habit that I see no reason to stop)
• The teacher also explained that masturbation was when one touches oneself in a way that gives one pleasure. One day I was itching myself and when asked what I was doing I said I was masturbating and got weird looks
• The teacher said that we would all go to parties and get offered drugs and if we took marijuana we would get dementia and if we took crystal meth then the next day we would wake up paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of our lives which made me think that I needed to actively seek out and reject meth in order to become an adult
• The teacher said that it was completely normal to start dating at 12 and lose ones virginity at 14 so when I turned 14 I panicked thinking that I was developmentally disabled and found love-shy.com which I briefly went on before realizing that it was a dumb site which gave lifefailing advice rather than dating advice, I also found @Marjan Šiklić and decided that his governments get girlfriends idea was stupid and I found this file
  
  which was my first exposure to chris
• The teacher also warned against hitchiking because it would result in being brutally murdered and dumped on the side of a highway

most of this stuff probably was aimed at the poor areas of the province but was put in the curriculum everywhere and thus made no sense in the rich area that I grew up in

 

[D.Angus]

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Divorce

When I was younger I would sometimes day dream what would happen with if my parents divorced.. I always figured that if this were to happen, that me and my brother would be separated between the two. I always kept thinking: "Ah.. This'll never happen" or "It's kinda fun to pretend.."

I always thought my parents had a stable relationship.. Albeit weird.. My mother would sleep on the couch, and my father upstairs. I'd watch my mother play video games in the basement and I enjoyed doing that. While my father would take me and my brother to the movies. We'd go out to dinner as family, but I never recall them acting romantically ever.

Flash forward to a few years later, and I'm just about to start Highschool, when my Dad packs up and moves out. Granted he moved in with my grandmother who needed care at the time. My mother then tells me that they're getting a divorce, and they both tell me that they love me.. I was shocked, because I had always dreamt it, never actually wanting it. It wasn't a terrible divorce, but it wasn't a smooth one. My mother blamed my father for a lot, especially on the custody. Near my Junior year, we loose the house. My mother blamed my father for not paying it for so long, but years later my father blames my mother for hiding things from him. I don't know who to believe.

Now, I don't even talk to my parents.. After I moved away from home, I kinda gave up on talking to them.. As neither one of them really wants to help me, and when I do ask for help, they do it very passively.. I miss the summers where we'd do stuff as a family..

 

[GS 281]

My oldest memory was my first grade teacher Mrs. Kampsen yanking my by the ear and slamming me into my desk, then yanking me by the ear up to the front of the class room and positioning me in front of the class. I stood there and nervously laughed. She took this blow-up letter "U" and slammed it on my head and said "you are a dumb" (yes "a dumb"). "You will be a janitor your whole life and never finish school. Your friends even told me they think you are stupid when you were sick from school."

*looks up at his two Masters degrees, CPA certification, PhD and awards for best in paper at international academic conferences*

Let's not play the Lotto, okay Kampsen?

 

[SpessCaptain]

My oldest memory was swimming in a fountain in the Sydney Harbor.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

My oldest memories are just vague recollections of random subjects from when I was around 4. Apparently my mind didn't really know how to prioritize what's important and what's mundane until I was around 8.

One great memory from my childhood is how one day I just swam into the deep end of the pool - more or less instantly overcoming a fear of deep water.

Also, I remember a time when most people didn't know what the internet was, having a computer in the home was relatively rare, and almost no one had a cellphone.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Bump

(A strange memory)

2008. The year Obama was elected. I was 11 at the time and remember being very happy about it. The only one who wasn't happy in my family was my Dad.

Around 2007-2009, we (only my school I hope) were pretty much "indoctrinated" into liking Obama and thinking he was the "Great hope". The day after the man was elected, I remember everyone being happy and saying stuff like "Obama's cool!" The only kids who weren't happy were these Asian twins. I asked them why they weren't happy and they said that Obama will "ruined schools ." I looked at them weirdly and just walked away.

It's really strange looking back at how we were forced into liking a president and thought kids who didn't like him were crazy. Perhaps this has always been the case, but it leaves me to wonder what schools will say to kids around ages 5-12 in this upcoming election. Maybe it was just my school and I'm overreacting. I mean, I do live in forever blue state California.

I also remember stumbling onto a video on YouTube titled "Idiots who voted for Obama". It really creeped me out because of some chant they used in the beginning and I never watched the whole thing. It's probably deleted now.

Despite the weird things happening in the political world, I was still a kid, thus didn't care. I spent my days going to school, playing outside, anime, cartoons, etc.

That's incredibly irresponsible. I assume it was just your teacher being a dumbass, because schools aren't supposed to push political agendas onto their students, especially kids that young.

 

[Teddy]

That's incredibly irresponsible. I assume it was just your teacher being a dumbass, because schools aren't supposed to push political agendas onto their students, especially kids that young.

Even as a kid I thought it was against school rules. They still did it though. I thought nothing of it until like 2 years ago then realize it was very messed up and creepy.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Even as a kid I thought it was against school rules. They still did it though. I thought nothing of it until like 2 years ago then realize it was very messed up and creepy.

I thought that I was in some sort of indoctrination thing (and I despised school) but it was only recently that I realized that teachers had opinions of their own which made me think more negatively of some

I had a paranoid teacher with dementia who always talked about how America was going to invade Canada and that afterwards they were going to bring back slavery except for instead of enslaving "niggers" they were going to enslave Canadians and I seriously thought that someone in the provincial government wanted us to believe that at the time