💀 Horrorcow Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman - unrepentant terrible human being liked by no one.

[John Andrews Stan]

Strap in for this one. It gets better with each post.



The fact that she’s putting politics on the level of a personal crisis makes it so clear how badly she needs to be admitted to a psych ward.

Charlie refused to work, putting the full burden of the family income on Cecily. But when Cecily bemoans their circumstances and pretends to take some credibility, none of her “friends” point out that Charlie shares in the fault with her. You will have already guessed exactly where they place the blame:





I wonder how many Zelle or Venmo donations Cecily nabs every time she posts bait like this:

 

[Breadbear]

"Being hard on yourself is victim blaming"

Cecily is Cecily's biggest victim (well, no, Tori is, but here we are). But yeah sure, fascist government made her and her husband unemployed and unemployable.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Strap in for this one. It gets better with each post.

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The fact that she’s putting politics on the level of a personal crisis makes it so clear how badly she needs to be admitted to a psych ward.

Charlie refused to work, putting the full burden of the family income on Cecily. But when Cecily bemoans their circumstances and pretends to take some credibility, none of her “friends” point out that Charlie shares in the fault with her. You will have already guessed exactly where they place the blame:

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I wonder how many Zelle or Venmo donations Cecily nabs every time she posts bait like this:

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“(I) thought we rescued the benefits”

Fascinating word choice. Chris Chan calling his benefits a tugboat was a good way to describe them, actually, because that’s welfare’s intended purpose. Someone as able bodied (relatively) as Cecily and Charlie should only need benefits until they get back on their feet, or when they’re near their ages need it as a supplement after a lifetime of saving up and hard work.

Instead, those leeches depended on it entirely when they weren’t begging because they thought themselves above honest work and believed the tugboat would pull them along forever. The moment it paused, they sank instead of swam. Rather than rescue their own lives, they’re chasing after a tugboat that is off in the distance (and will be reduced if/when it comes back). They’re that above work even when their head is below water.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

You’ll never guess who’s launched her 100th (give or take) e-begging campaign (archive).

 

[Breadbear]

You’ll never guess who’s launched her 100th (give or take) e-begging campaign (archive).

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The landlord suggested a GFM?

 

[Barbarella]

All you need to survive in life is no shame or self-respect. 2k already.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

The landlord suggested a GFM?

I am permanently rewired to read this as Gretchen Faulkner-Martin, who I assume is Cecily's twin brother.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Give til it hurts, it takes a lot of groceries to fill these three.

 

[Evan]

These lazy grifting leeches. I know some truly disabled people who work harder than these fucking stains on society and are struggling to afford things because they make too much for benefits, while this useless beast and her somehow-more-useless husband rake in an easy $3,500 sitting on their asses all day. Let's not forget that Cecily and Charlie's work woes are 100% due to their non-existent work ethics and nothing else. They do not care because they think the rest of us should carry them, despite weighing 300+ pounds each.

Edited because they've made $1,200 more since the screenshot

 

[WENDY DENG 2020]

You’ll never guess who’s launched her 100th (give or take) e-begging campaign (archive).

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Three able-bodied adults on SNAP and free healthcare? You deserve to be booted bitch.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I’m calling it now: Cecily will get into a dispute with the car rental company as well as with management of any and all motels or restaurants she and Tori stop at along the way to NM.

 

[Evan]

Looks like we see what they're putting their donated funds toward.

Love her pleading for validation about her problem while pretending she respects anyone's privacy. She is probably spilling the beans to anyone who asks in a private message. So desperate for attention.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Why on earth would anyone drive from Philadelphia to Santa Fe? Isn't it normal to fly there? It's sub-300 dollars a round trip ticket.

 

[Evan]

Why on earth would anyone drive from Philadelphia to Santa Fe? Isn't it normal to fly there? It's sub-300 dollars a round trip ticket.

Besides the fact they don't have Real IDs (which have been required to fly since May), they're both almost certainly too fat for single seats. Well, Cecily for sure is. And asking Cecily to WALK in a large airport? Yeah right. They're good exercise even for people who don't spend 12 hours a day sitting down and the other 12 sleeping and stuffing their face.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Besides the fact they don't have Real IDs (which have been required to fly since May), they're both almost certainly too fat for single seats. Well, Cecily for sure is. And asking Cecily to WALK in a large airport? Yeah right. They're good exercise even for people who don't spend 12 hours a day sitting down and the other 12 sleeping and stuffing their face.

It blows my mind that grown adults don't have IDs they can travel with, but this is Cecily and I'm sure even some responsible Americans don't have.

Still, a RealID has to be cheaper than driving everywhere. They'll need at least one, maybe two nights in a hotel along the way, plus the rental cost, gas, assorted road costs. The fatness though, that I don't know about.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

I was about to say that they could fly for $308 round trip per person. So sub-$616 for her and Tori. And there's snacks on the plane. Huzzah!

A car rental for a week is gong to run $344.92 from Enterprise going with the economy Mitsubishi Mirage (cheapest car they offer). Gas cost for the trip is $223.18 if Cecily doesn't drive like a retard and maximizes the gas milage of the vehicle. Gotta throw in mandatory $15/day for car insurance, because you know this shitstain doesn't carry insurance of her own, so there's an additional $105 for a one week rental. Also, unless they're going to do the 23 hour, 33 minute drive in one shot, they're going to need to rent a motel room for at least one night (if she goes with a cheap shitty Motel 6, they average $60-80 per night, so toss in an extra $120 for a round trip).

Not counting the motel rooms, we've already got $568.10 without insurance just for a week of rental car plus gasoline. Throw in the insurance and we're at $673.10. Sleeping in a cheap motel room? $793.10. And this is also assuming these two turbolards eat NOTHING on the way.

So how is it cheaper, Cecily?

Maybe you should've just gotten the RealID for $30 per person.

 

[often puzzled]

I'm betting that this group of completely (and proudly) incompetent individuals don't have the necessary documents to get the RealID, and they're obviously too lazy to procure replacements. I doubt they've even kept track of Tori's birth certificate, and no one-- parent or teacher-- will have ever explained to her why you need to keep that safe.

Also, Cecily would probably keel over in an airport.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Let's review all of the parenting failures here:
At some point between the ages of 14 and 18, responsible parents do the following:
- Ensure your child has valid ID, driver's license or alternative.
- Get the child's DL. Not everyone does this, but it's much easier to achieve when the child is still at home.
- Teach your child that adults carry their ID and have them begin carrying their ID when they go out.
- Ensure that your child's passport is up-to-date.
- Have your child accompany you to passport/ID appointments, fill out the paperwork with you, and speak to the desk agent with you present but not taking the lead.
- Teach your child about airports
- Teach your child about the police. What are your duties if the police stop you? What should you say? What should you NOT say?

By the time someone is Tori's age, she should be able to take a flight on her own, or participate in a traffic stop.

Cecily spends all her time hyperventilating about Teh Evil Government and then fails to impart to Tori the very basic skills about keeping oneself safe and avoiding trouble.

 

[Evan]

As much as I hate defending Cecily, if they need to be there immediately, even getting an appointment at the DMV can take a month in some places. You all are probably correct that they don't have the needed documents, but even if they did, it could be too urgent a matter to wait.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You all are probably correct that they don't have the needed documents, but even if they did, it could be too urgent a matter to wait.

Definitely, but I think everyone's point is that this should have been done before someone's in the ICU across the country. E-begger emergencies are things that would have been a boring box on a normal person's to-do list, just six months or a year earlier.