🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Foltest]

Any kiwis that are in Mexico, avoid any pork stew in the near future.

 

[GoFundMe]

So Ralph is supposed to be in Columbia right now?

What is the coverage like in Columbia for cell service? As people have mentioned, he has probably just lost his phone but it doesn't seem like Ralph to not be taking photos of every little thing he does, no matter how sad it is.

Hey he might have thought you could ride a current and float on down to Columbia and the sea just spat him back to mehiiiiko

My good friend went to Columbia last summer. She kept texting me from there, so I assume it was fine. She was in Bodega, tho, not Medallin.

Could still be suicide. The instinct to survive can override the desire to die.

I think what you meant to say is the desire to die can override the instinct to survive. This is true. I don’t think Ralph would ever kill himself, tho. I think an accidental OD is possible, tho. More than likely, tho, I think he’s intentionally “disappeared” to see if ppl will pay attention or perhaps maximize viewership for Ralohamania.

 

[Oeselian Chad]

Outlived by a guy with cancer.

 

[Near]

This dumb nigger's gonna lose so many phones they will become open world collectibles like in a video game

 

[Pale Empress]

I vote for not dead, but one thing to remember is that for many years Ralph would carry at least two separate phones when going out, one for personal use and one for IRL stream recording. IIRC he would mix Android and iphones. No idea if they were on separate accounts/providers.

Now granted, he's a lot poorer than he used to , and if he can manage to lose a passport while abroad he can certainly lose multiple phones. But if he was going to his dumb event and he still has both phones, I think "he just left his phone on the bus and everythings fine" isn't super likely

It was the Mexican phone and the US phone. I had this idea too. Why not have a single phone with WhatsApp (because he's a nigger who doesn't realize you can have multiple lines going to the same phone). In 2025 there's no reason to have multiple lines, he's just dumb.

I'm of the mind that he's too wet brained to figure it out, all of this is a mess of a drunk retard too silly to figure out his various phone plans.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Well people under his tweets are concerned

If this really is the end for Ralph I'm sure he'd be happy to know his strongest soldier, Rapemonger, was fighting the good fight for his right to molest sex trafficking victims.

So it seems like he texted Adowulf that he was leaving for Columbia Friday morning and the drowning in Mexico happened Friday afternoon. Unless I have the dates mixed up that seems to confirm that the drowning 100% wasn't him.

Have you considered the possibility he fell out the plane and landed in the ocean? Granted it's unlikely since I've heard no reports of a tsunami in Colombia.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Well if we go by Occam's razor, the most likely scenario is that Ralph made it to Colombia but lost his phone and went to get a new phone but pooped his pants on the way there and the poop squirted down his leg and he slipped on it like an oil slick and fell down a hill crashing into various street vendor stalls full of pointy trinkets and hot stews and his pants fell off as he rolled down and when he finally came to a stop on the beach a parakeet swooped down and snipped his dick off and flew out into the ocean and spit his dick out in the ocean because it was icky.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

His last tweet is becoming a sort of attraction for people wishing their best for him in is supposed untimely passing. Much love.

 

[Charlaquin]

I'm betting that he's dead simply because it would be the most funny outcome.

 

[Obscura539]

As terrible as Ralph is I wouldn’t wish a cold on him. The man is a three titted, loose skinned, monstrosity. He would never take his shirt off in public and go for a swim.

He would:

>get into an argument with his uber.
>be beaten in the streets by aforementioned uber.
>lick his wounds at an airport bar.
>get sloppy drunk and message pantsu
>bitch about being abandoned
>pop some xannies
>lose phone
>have to wait for a 37 hour layover on a bench.
>take anger out on some random
>get beat AGAIN
>miss flight
>rebook and finally board
>take selfies with new hat and trying new hand positions
>own the haters

 

[AltisticRight]

SOON.

Ver archivo adjunto 7270024

...

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

Remember: nothing ever happens

 

[jewsernotfound]

has that dickhead in columbia had anything to say about this?

 

[Oliver Onions]

You prudes can all stop panicking. This just arrived in the mail, Ralph assures me he and his man purse are absolutely fine.

 

[Tim Walz's Retarded Son]

My prediction is that he is not dead and is still a fat alcoholic

 

[InterestRateHawk]

- Ralph breaks even
"Now every streamer knows the best advice I ever found,
Came from a swaying content man, who could barely stay upright.
And somewhere in Columbia, he finally broke even,
But in his drunken wisdom, I found a truth that I could keep."

"You've got to know when to holla,
know when to suffer,
Know when to double down when the alogs are closing in.
Don't count your super chats when you're deep into the xannies,
There'll be time enough for counting when the horse is gone."

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

You guys know that Ralph is just beginning his transition to ladyboy right?? He aint dead, he aint wrastlin, hes going to South America to become a pretty pig princess

 

[Rage Pig]

No tweets from Piggertits, here's one from Harry, not sure if the chat message is also from him, but it's funny.

 

[Onepumpplumpchump]

I am pretty sure at this point he's arrested. If he's arrested in South America he's actually fucked.

 

[MaltVinegarRespecter]

I am pretty sure at this point he's arrested. If he's arrested in South America he's actually fucked.

If he loaded a suitcase with xanax and tried to board a plane with it, its not beyond the realm of possibility he's locked up somewhere.