UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Otterly]

a Solomon's Wisdom aspect to this, liken to when he threatened to cut the baby in half. The real asylum seekers can't go home. Economic migrants can. This is a very effective way to distinguish between the two. What you do with that information afterwards is another thing but it's worth noting

Anyone who has gone home for a holiday and come back isn’t a refugee at all. We could start with them

 

[Chunky Salsa]

I'll also just say I don't care if they are refugees. I'd build a big tent city in some bumfuck part of Africa and make them all live there until they either fuck off into the wild, die, or tell us where we can send them. I'm not swayed by crying browns, or dying children at this point. We took our boot off of these animals necks for the civilisation blink of an eye and now if we don't sort our shit out, the future of the human race is going to be mud cookies, genital slicing and an average IQ of 70. Fuck that noise.

 

[Gian-Luca Caluga]

Ver archivo adjunto 8653018

On the right, looks like a moomin on ozempic.

I am late and gay, but on the right is the kid from Gummo. Even has the same haunted eyes.

 

[The Ghost of Sergei Witte]

So with the Tories and Reform clapping like seals for American intervention and MAGA lite failure politics, when do we get an America-sceptic Right-Wing? If only there was a man who's idealism we can look towards

 

[Cassius Crayfish]

when do we get an America-sceptic Right-Wing?

I think you'll find he's been writing in The Mail on Sunday for many years now.

 

[Jason_Cruiser]

I'll also just say I don't care if they are refugees. I'd build a big tent city in some bumfuck part of Africa and make them all live there until they either fuck off into the wild, die, or tell us where we can send them. I'm not swayed by crying browns, or dying children at this point. We took our boot off of these animals necks for the civilisation blink of an eye and now if we don't sort our shit out, the future of the human race is going to be mud cookies, genital slicing and an average IQ of 70. Fuck that noise.

I always thought a good idea was if they rip-up their paperwork and don't give valid evidence to where they originally came from, we should just throw them into some random patch of unclaimed land in Africa. If they can travel half the world to get here, they can do it again to get back home. Plus those annoying refugee charities can be sent with them to run a soup kitchen or something so they aren't being annoying cunts on our shores.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I always thought a good idea was if they rip-up their paperwork and don't give valid evidence to where they originally came from, we should just throw them into some random patch of unclaimed land in Africa. If they can travel half the world to get here, they can do it again to get back home. Plus those annoying refugee charities can be sent with them to run a soup kitchen or something so they aren't being annoying cunts on our shores.

We own parts of Antarctica.. It's space we've not built a block of flats on yet. Why let it go to waste? We can use it to house these poor people!

 

[The Ghost of Sergei Witte]

I almost didn't recognise the milestone

 

[Cassius Crayfish]

I almost didn't recognise the milestone
Ver archivo adjunto 8657595

 

[Overly Serious]

So with the Tories and Reform clapping like seals for American intervention and MAGA lite failure politics, when do we get an America-sceptic Right-Wing? If only there was a man who's idealism we can look towards

Not entirely certain if you're fishing for this or just don't know, but Rupert Lowe has already said that we should focus on our needs first and not Israel's other nations'.

It puts a few people in a bind because he is the strongest contender for actually doing something about mass migration but some people are more about Ben Shapiro'ing than actually achieving that.

Ben Shapiro'ing is where you rattle off a bunch of things Conservatives and nationalists agree with and then sneak in "...and we support Israel" once you've 'established your credentials',

Spoiler

 

[BongoMongo]

God, it's all so fucking tiresome at the moment.

We shouldn't be paying these people anything. Detain them in camps on entry. DNA test them to find out where they're likely from, send them back there and send their countries of origin the bill, and add that country to a list of countries which no longer get visas for here.

It's not fucking rocket science.

Entering this country when you have intentionally and wilfully destroyed your identity documents to hide where you're from should be a crime.

Oh and we need to start taking punitive measures against France and other countries which are kicking this shitty can down the road and refusing to deal with it by just waving them through.

 

[Overly Serious]

I almost didn't recognise the milestone

"So... do you want an Orwellian dystopia or an Aldous Huxley dystopia?"

Spoiler: British state:

 

[Duane Dibbley]

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Yes YEs YEs YES!!!!! ^_^

INB4 he ends up murdering his gay lover.

If the government pay me £10k, I'll leave the UK. I'm not kidding. They can have my passport.
I want to be out of here before the backpacks go off.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

As an actual Brit the w is worn on mine.

None of mine are worn down because I don't buy cheap chink shit. If I don't have high quality and rgb lighting for my keyboard how will I ever get into the proper online multiplayer lobby mindset for slur calling?

A passenger said it was a "total shitshow" with people banging on windows and having panic attacks as repeated delays forced the pilot to rest

Yea I too used to start screaming and hitting things when shit didn't go my way. I outgrew that almost 3 decades ago now. But that level of maturity is far too much to expect from people that moved to fucking dubai. I would love if one of them banged on the window so hard it broke and completely grounded the plane.

I'm beginning to think under my requirements for Britishness, the population would be quartered.

I'd like the population to be quartered too, mostly politicians and criminals. Just probably not in the same meaning as you though.

With cases like this, they are never gay. It's just a retarded excuse they give so they can't get deported.

Tbf to him he does look like the type to get bummed. He's got those gay eyes.

I'd build a big tent city in some bumfuck part of Africa

Considering how 'decolonisation' effected where it happened I think even a couple tents would be pointless. They'd let shit get stuck in the zipper and would sell the pegs off for scrap.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

He's got those gay eyes.

Prey eyes lmao.

 

[Otterly]

"So... do you want an Orwellian dystopia or an Aldous Huxley dystopia?"

Spoiler: British state:

Ver archivo adjunto 8657658

Tomorrows world lied to me.

Oh and we need to start taking punitive measures against France

War with France? *perks up*

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

INB4 he ends up murdering his gay lover.

If the government pay me £10k, I'll leave the UK. I'm not kidding. They can have my passport.
I want to be out of here before the backpacks go off.

I think a group of us should pretend to be a refugee family and split the payment four ways. 40k for a family? Fucking hell. How much is a dinghy?

More wattsapp texts have been leaked that show Labour MPs squabbling over this. I feel like they don't really understand that it's not just the amount of boat people, but the provisions they are given which the Natives are not. Announcing you are giving them 10 grand to leave is the worst fucking policy idea ever. Why do they get free electricity and a roof over their head? What the fuck? I dread to think how much this shite is costing us as a nation

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Prey eyes lmao.

No he's gay not into vore i assume. You mean bottom eyes.

 

[Strix454]

We shouldn't be paying these people anything. Detain them in camps on entry. DNA test them to find out where they're likely from, send them back there and send their countries of origin the bill, and add that country to a list of countries which no longer get visas for here.

There is one extra thing to do. One of the many ways they can prevent going home is for their country of origin to refuse to take them back or making the arrangements to send them back very difficult. Which they will do often to help migrants. People in the US used to use that loophole all the time to avoid deportation. But the eventual innovation was to find a literal hell on earth that would agree to take anyone in exchange for a few side considerations. A hell on earth that nobody would want to be sent to and would agree to just about any alternate deportation conditions to avoid being sent to.

The US choice for this role was South Sudan. Which is a very bad place with no government to speak of and not close to anything.

 

[pot of sneed]

The simplest thing to do when it comes to these gimmigrants. Give them nothing, or else if you do feed them, they'll just keep coming back for more.