💼 Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Pretty obvious he only "quit" drinking was because of the ankle bracelet. If he's still on active probation he's probably fucked.

 

[Twinkie]

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That liver don't look like it's doing too well:

wtf this almost looks like a colostomy bag

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

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wtf this almost looks like a colostomy bag

 

[break these cuffs]

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wtf this almost looks like a colostomy bag

Yeah, it looks like some kind of weird distention or bloating and not just a beer gut. Maybe he's wearing a sports bra to something to hold his tits back. Looking like Philadelphia Collins over there.

 

[clipartfan92]

As I've said previous I'm having trouble posting video here so I'll link the Reddit posts and someone else is free to archive.

0:36

0:46

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Pretty obvious he only "quit" drinking was because of the ankle bracelet. If he's still on active probation he's probably fucked.

If he can't stay clean for three days or doesn't have at least that much time to get the ethyl glucuronide out of his system, he's definitely fucked. ETG testing is how they detect alcohol consumption by someone on parole or probation, this metabolite is only produced from your body being exposed to ethanol. The period from exposure to levels below a triggering threshold is ~72 hours.

Even if they saw you drinking a beer, they can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt it's not an NA beer without that additional evidence.

So if you're on probation and aren't supposed to drink, time it so you have at least three days between your last drink and your piss test.

 

[AskeDead]

Well, so much for that sobriety

 

[Constellationzero]

DA UPDATE VOLUME 9001:

After cancelling his tour Bam went on a drinking tour of the UK while sporadically videos on IG blaming everyone else except himself:
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That liver don't look like it's doing too well:
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More rural shithole sightings:Ver archivo adjunto 5957732Ver archivo adjunto 5957733Ver archivo adjunto 5957734Ver archivo adjunto 5957735Ver archivo adjunto 5957736
Throughout this white trash tour of the UK he made many posts bragging about how sober and well adjusted he and Danni are. Here's a one:Ver archivo adjunto 5957757
Then there's the string of rant videos that without fail always contradicts the last video he posted. As I've said previous I'm having trouble posting video here so I'll link the Reddit posts and someone else is free to archive.
One
Pay extra attention to this one, this marks the return of Lima after many months of leaving her alone in peace. In this video he claims he got 5150'd in the UK by 8 police officers and that the cops told him that the welfare check was requested by a soft spoken woman in California (because the cops will totally tell you all this when they do a welfare check)

So what's Bam's solution? Put Donald Trumps lawyers on the case:
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This isn't even the most pathetic part of this update. Bam claimed a few days back he and Dani were going to Norway, however...

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Nevertheless, Bam posted this today on IG:
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Turns out, it's an Adobe stock image:Ver archivo adjunto 5957840

Jesus, imagine proudly posting you with a stinking, festering, actively rotting BUM, thinking it's some kind of positive endorsement of your business. And imagine seeing the stinking bum's disturbingly distended side-gut and STILL standing close beside him for a picture.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Jesus, imagine proudly posting you with a stinking, festering, actively rotting BUM, thinking it's some kind of positive endorsement of your business. And imagine seeing the stinking bum's disturbingly distended side-gut and STILL standing close beside him for a picture.

What I liked about it is it shows the universal nature of white trash.

That could just as easily be any trashy bar or hick town in the United States, Canada or Australia. The only real difference between the UK and them is King John IX the Inbred didn't take a shit at Sunnyvale Trailer Park in 1099, or whatever makes half that old crap in Britain worth preserving.

 

[Fatal Shooting]

This might be late but I don't remember seeing it before- since when does Bam walk with a cane? Did Vito even need a cane?

 

[McSneaks]

Vito wasn't a pimp he was a pedophile minor (heh) difference

 

[Twinkie]

I don't remember seeing it before- since when does Bam walk with a cane? Did Vito even need a cane?

He injured himself while skateboarding back in March. A torn MCL takes a while to fully recover from. I'm not aware of him using a cane before that. Here he is on crutches fighting with his GF, in mid-March.

2:07

 

[GradeAGobbleDeeGook]

since when does Bam walk with a cane?

incase you wanted some footage of the incident and havent seen it, its in thread as well (back on page 201)
unlike other times when Bam is being a cry baby bitch, this was one of the few times he had a legitimate reason to cry

video

https://twitter.com/omgmediaarchive/status/1766148725137686790

 

[Shiba Inu Strike Force]

The latest:
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Have we analyzed the way that blanket is swept over and the placement of that vacuum yet?

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

This can only end in a cage match with Andy Dick where they both end up dying on exertion in the first round.

 

[dick brain]

I read that original comment like they were asking if it was unethical for the ARTIST to be drunk or high lol.

Half of my tattoos I've gotten I paid for in actual tattoo places with a handful of pain pills or somas. And the artist would always take them way before they started working on me so both of us would be fucked up by the time needle hit skin.

Post tattoos.

 

[Shiba Inu Strike Force]

Congratulations to Bam and his new dirthoe wife!

 

[The Cringe Connoisseur]

This pansy ass loser isn't dead yet?

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

https://people.com/bam-margera-weds-model-dannii-marie-new-mexico-film-set-8655007

On Tuesday, May 28, the Jackass alum, 44, tied the knot with model Dannii Marie at the Val Verde Historic Hotel in Socorro County, New Mexico, where they are filming the movie Collecting Souls, reports TMZ.


Margera confirmed the news by sharing the outlet's report on Instagram. "To all of our friends and family. We’ve been planning this for a while with the Jim Burlson out here in Socorro New Mexico at this rad historical hotel. Danielle Marie MARGERA, it’s official," he wrote.

 

[basically gayer fez]

https://people.com/bam-margera-weds-model-dannii-marie-new-mexico-film-set-8655007

On Tuesday, May 28, the Jackass alum, 44, tied the knot with model Dannii Marie at the Val Verde Historic Hotel in Socorro County, New Mexico, where they are filming the movie Collecting Souls, reports TMZ.


Margera confirmed the news by sharing the outlet's report on Instagram. "To all of our friends and family. We’ve been planning this for a while with the Jim Burlson out here in Socorro New Mexico at this rad historical hotel. Danielle Marie MARGERA, it’s official," he wrote.

Another unfortunate to add to the "Margera Curse". Watch that he has a kid with this one, and then abandon it because fuck child support am I right?