Booze Reviews - Where drunk and pretentious kiwis review spirits, wine, beer, cyder and artisanal jenkem

[XYZpdq]

I genuinely like Costco Generic American Vodka. It's like $15 including tax for a 1.5 or 1.75l bottle.

Tonight I was at a bar that had your choice of a bunch of way overpriced draft beers or draft Bud for $2 a pint.
Draft Bud was less terrible than bottled.

 

[Piss Clam]

Southern Comfort cost you nine bucks for a pint now. How times have changed.

Also if you are serious about getting your drunk on: https://drunkard.com/

 

[A Useless Fish]

Any opinion on varieties of absinthe? It's such a douchey hipster beverage I don't trust reviews from just anyone.

I got this exact thing at the airport in Prague.

Never tried the stuff before, but it's easier for me to drink than straight whiskey. It tastes like liqourice when its not burning its way down my throat (since it's 70% proof), and the glass and grate are delightful little touches.

I am finishing it off right now, actually. I am just drinking it straight from the bottle because fuck it. It does the job. I am fucking buzzed right now, and in the in the next half hour or so I could very well be dead.

Not everyone who drinks this stuff is a hipster. In Prague everyone drinks this shit. There was a dedicated absinthe bar just a five minute walk from my hotel, and the place was full, even in the fucking morning. Damned drunks.

 

[Country Matters]

I love Taaka, actually

Fun to do shots with, and I like to mix the cherry one with coke to make a cherry coke tasting drink

Because it's a college town, tho, I can't get it much ):

I usually get Nikolai, which is bottom shelf shit that tastes like mistake, but it's $12 a handle

 

[Tragi-Chan]

My main tip for cider is that if it has a name like "Old Bollockrotter" or "Headbanger Special" or something, it's probably going to taste like shit and not even get you drunk. You need to watch out for the ones called something like "Dorset Reserve" or something boring, because they'll taste great, but they'll be something like 10% and you'll wind up way more drunk than you thought.

 

[uncleShitHeel]

Well for some reason I have bottle of campari in my liquor cabinet.

Its basically gin with food colouring.

 

[thejackal]

Does it contain any thujone tho? Otherwise it's just regular old booze, and strong at 14o proof. You'll get drunk but you won't get the "extra" from the thujone. I've had the real stuff a few times and any effect seemed placebo. It's my understanding you'd have to drink quite a bit of it to get enough thujone in you to feel anything and by that time, given that most absinthe is over 50% alchohol you'd be too shit faced to really notice.

I've been drinking a lot of Goses lately. It's the perfect low ABV thirst quencher for summer. It's a popular style right now and is thankfully pushing some of the "citra IPA" crap off the shelves. I'm so over IPA. I feel like as an old boozehound that's been drinking micros since the late 90s that most IPAs are just dead to me. And an IPA with fruit juice or fruit flavors added? Come on, that's just numbing your tastebuds.

Oh, and guilty pleasure: the Rose in a can that's popular right now. I know, I'm a sissy faggot. Goses and Roses.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I have a drink recipe based on Kiwi Farms
THE KIWI SPECIAL
1 part Krakan Rum
2 Parts Mt Dew
dash of lime juice.
Mix in a glass with ice. Drink it like it's the misery of helpless autistic people.

 

[AnOminous]

I have a drink recipe based on Kiwi Farms
THE KIWI SPECIAL
1 part Krakan Rum
2 Parts Mt Dew
dash of lime juice.
Mix in a glass with ice. Drink it like it's the misery of helpless autistic people.

My favorite spiced rum drink is a Dark & Stormy. Half Kraken (or even Captain Morgan or any spiced rum really), half dark ginger beer.

If I wanted to make it kiwi themed I'd add a dash of kiwi juice and a dash of salt.

 

[Deez Nuts]

Dark and stormies are the best! If you mix that same rum with 7up (or sprite) then it will taste like a creme soda. It's super weird how it works but it just does.

 

[redlenses2112]

Lol, "premium tequilas" from the Cheesesteak city. That's just what I want. Give me corn syrup alcohol filtered through Allentown's water runoff, with a hint of Kensington Fentanyl. Mmmmmmm.

 

[Sneedmiser]

I bought a four pack of craft beer today, in the second week of August, just because it's a sour, I like sours, and they're still kind of hard to find. I get home, I turn the can over and what do I see? "brewed in honor of our queer friends and family for Pride Month. The only upside is that it's the cheapest product I've ever seen from the brewery (still at 13.99 plus deposit lmao). Stay away from Lamplighter brewing if you ever see it and you're in the Northeast.

Decided to try it for posterity's sake before hitting send. It tastes like mellow yellow, it's not even sour at all.

 

[Stoneheart]

I have gotten into fruit brandy alot in the last year.
I want to review Prinz alte marille
clean, pretty intensive tasting aged apricot brandy.
i like the fruity flavor alot and its not so expensiv at 25€ a bottle.
goes down a bit to easy for 41% and can be a risk.

 

[Squanto Airi]

Strongbow is decent, but Bold Rock is the best hard cider I have ever had.

Bold Rock has that genuine green apple taste.

Currently sipping on a Duplin Muscodine wine. It is rather sweet, but I care not.

 

[Pomniman]

I tried Jinro Chamisul "Fresh" Soju a couple of times recently after seeing it in this one liquor store's fridge.

Very cheap and decent if you're looking for something neutral-tasting to get buzzed but not completely obliterated on. I think the fruit-flavored variants are probably more popular, but the gooks would probably make that sort of thing way too sugary for my liking so I went with the unflavored version.

 

[User names must be unique]

Trying White claw for the first time because it was on discount and I remember seeing yanks talk about it as if it was manna from heaven. Black cherry one is fucking godawful I'd pour it out if not for the fact that it's mildly alcoholic, Raspberry one is tolerable but far from good.

Did I fall for some sort of stealth marketing or was all the talk about this drink deeply ironic and everyone thinks it's awful? I find it hard to believe people genuinely like it.

 

[Pomniman]

Trying White claw for the first time because it was on discount and I remember seeing yanks talk about it as if it was manna from heaven. Black cherry one is fucking godawful I'd pour it out if not for the fact that it's mildly alcoholic, Raspberry one is tolerable but far from good.

Did I fall for some sort of stealth marketing or was all the talk about this drink deeply ironic and everyone thinks it's awful? I find it hard to believe people genuinely like it.

You can definitely chalk the hype up to effective marketing. It's a very basic cookie-cutter product that's mostly popular as an alternative to beer, which makes sense in the American context of people who are used to commonplace macrobrew pisswater like Budweiser, Heineken, Coors, PBR, etc. or even trashier hobo-tier shit you drink when you're a complete alcoholic wastoid who's given up on life like Steel Reserve 211.

Basically, it fills a very specific niche in the American market but there's nothing special about it in and of itself.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

You can definitely chalk the hype up to effective marketing. It's a very basic cookie-cutter product that's mostly popular as an alternative to beer, which makes sense in the American context of people who are used to commonplace macrobrew pisswater like Budweiser, Heineken, Coors, PBR, etc. or even trashier hobo-tier shit you drink when you're a complete alcoholic wastoid who's given up on life like Steel Reserve 211.

Basically, it fills a very specific niche in the American market but there's nothing special about it in and of itself.

It's OK, it's a decent choice for doing things outside where you don't necessarily want something heavier like beer although I'd still go for something like a shandy or radler vs. a White Claw. The black cherry flavor is godawful though, I 100% agree with that.

That being said, you could easily make a better version of it yourself with some vodka and those sugar-free fruit flavored sodas most grocery stores sell, or just go for the classic transfusion if you're out on the course. It really is just a flavored vodka seltzer, nothing more and nothing less. Vodka in general is a huge scam but that's a whole other topic...the bottom shelf stuff is hardly any different from the top shelf, it's just a mixture of ethanol and distilled water no matter what.

 

[Pomniman]

It's OK, it's a decent choice for doing things outside where you don't necessarily want something heavier like beer although I'd still go for something like a shandy or radler vs. a White Claw. The black cherry flavor is godawful though, I 100% agree with that.

That being said, you could easily make a better version of it yourself with some vodka and those sugar-free fruit flavored sodas most grocery stores sell, or just go for the classic transfusion if you're out on the course. It really is just a flavored vodka seltzer, nothing more and nothing less. Vodka in general is a huge scam but that's a whole other topic...the bottom shelf stuff is hardly any different from the top shelf, it's just a mixture of ethanol and distilled water no matter what.

Even a vodka tonic is effectively a slightly classier "white claw" you can make at home while basically being cheap bullshit, yeah. Or a screwdriver if you're even lazier. In fact now that I think about it, a basic bitch screwdriver with the cheapest orange juice you can find will likely taste better than any white claw flavor, so white claw really is just the lazy man's vodka highball.

I'm not much of a vodka guy either, but certain relatives have introduced me to this one Ukrainian brand called Khor that's basically as good as cheap(ish) vodka gets without tasting like full blown rubbing alcohol. Though if you're just in it for the "savings" at that point you might as well buy everclear or some other 180 proof+ grain alcohol and mix it down since that's the absolute cheapest variant unless you want to get into homebrewing.

 

[Stoneheart]

They had some aged apple brandy at the supermarket yesterday.
the year in the barrel really made a difference, the normal apple brandy is often to fruity and fresh tasting for me but i will use the bottle of aged one for christmas drinks, i bet it will be better than they typical rum used.