So I finally got around to watching the Boogie2988 documentary yesterday. I didn't even open the thread for a while as the video was on my list of "to-watch", after watching flowers grow and the cows come home.
Consider this my official rambling blog-post review.
The video begins with the absolutely gruesome footage of Boogie2988 attempting to fill his bathtub with human lard, as I was getting my hot pot ready because that's the best thing for a cosy winter night. I blame my burnt throat on Clom, he owes me mint chocolate. Boogie2988 instills the vivid imagery of him washing his daughter-girlfriend in the bathtub as she plays with rubber duckies. That's when I decided to postpone my hot pot by an hour because a burnt throat was probably the least worrying issue on my plate.
These calculations demonstrates everything that's wrong with modern society. We used to joke about algebra being hard, this is just embarrassing.
Boogie2988 exhibits both of his gunts, my appetite is now negative as a look at my thin-cut lamb in disgust. I guess I will be going vegan for a while. If Ethan Ralph's gunt was 9-11. Boogie2988's gunt is the holocaust times seven.
Boogie2988, just fucking kill yourself. He talks about getting whores $1000 purses which makes him sound cheap, scalping the bottom of a Coach store. The escort talks about Boogie2988 eating 2 entrées which lacks any citations because I'm pretty sure she meant 20. Boogie2988 captures his manhood in a misogynistic rant about Arkansas 8s and LA 10s. He talks about fucking them, which lacks any citations. I don't see a microscope with micromanipulators for the escort to identify and probe his penis from his pubic hair, hidden in the layers upon layers of lard.
Despite being a fat worthless oxygen thief, Boogie2988's room is surprisingly organised. There is nothing stopping him from opening up an eBay store to sell of his manbaby hoard of worthless chinky cardboard paper and slave labour made figurines. Boogie2988 is just a lazy, worthless sentient blob of pink slime. He makes card sales amounting to $400. The documentary showcases his local MTG store that is capable to lower obesity rates to European levels if the event took place in Columbine High, circa 20th April, 1999.
I know, sentient is an exaggeration.
I find it hard to believe that the local stores can produce enough pizza for this critical mass. Again, someone can cite the logistics involved in feeding this singularity of pizza-consuming dyson spheres.
His friends are rather wholesome and seems caring.
>The N-word is just a word
Yes Boogie2988, the N-word, the nachos and chicken nuggets you love so much; fat fuck, nigger.
Good things came from the Halocuast (sic), which is yet another Boogie2988 lie as he exists to steal vital resources. Someone get a time machine and send his grandparents some one-way tickets.
Boogie2988 lists off his diagnosis:
- Low T
- Testicular hypogonadism
- Sleep apnea
- Lymphatic flow blockages
- Seborrheic eczema
- Chronic back pain
- Protein in urine
- High blood pressure
- Gastric bypass
- Intestinal malabsorption
- Vitamin D deficiency
- Morbid obesity
- Major depressive disorder
- Major anxiety disorder
- Diabetic
- Bloodclots
- Legs rotting
- Degeneration of lumbar
- Asthma
- Allergies (to all vegetables and stairs)
- Fat
- Eats a lot
- Worthless
- Obese
- Pathological truthteller
At 22:40, Mike Clum hits us with Boogie2988's attitude, saying how everything he says is so depressing. Mike Clum then gets a hold of a comedian to my relief, because I don't want to see Juju the Cow on my screen again. Mike Clum demonstrates his addition skills again afterwards. The comedian psychiatrist diagnoses Boogie2988 with covert narcissism, with all the boxes ticked, resembling a tenth of Boogie2988's average McDonald's receipt. He tells Boogie2988 to get a job at GameStop, which isn't a fast food chain.
Part three shows Boogie2988 with an employment agent of sorts. She was not amused. Boogie2988 has no work history, no experience, no degree, and lovely Google results. She delivers the killshot by citing Boogie2988's negative attitude. He should just kill himself. Boogie2988 thinks a real job is beyond him, so he's back to uploading videos that barely break 10k viewers for a channel of 4.5 million subscribers.
I should just switch to a diet of sodium cyanide.
Good job, Mike.
This was a prop.
I cannot find a single Instagram account matching this one. If you look closely, it says "New Instagram Account". Dezi's various accounts were all at least 3+ years old. Dezi, likely under the guidance of Boogie2988 did some silly roleplay, which was likely an attempt to hide how they truly met. As I've demonstrated
here, they've been following each other for nearly a year, not 3 months.
"Why didn't she just use her proper account, why didn't she just use one of her socks? You evil Kiwi Farms users writing up fan fiction again!"
Simple.
- She lost access to her other accounts
- Using her proper account would have revealed far more in front of Mike Clom
They talk about getting married and all the other shit. I have no doubts that they're fuelling each other's mental issues, similar to those rare and bizarre husband-wife serial killer cases.
They'll need to get Styropyro to rig up some abomination with microwave oven transformers to be able to even penetrate this fat fuck's skin.
This cringe joke means Boogie2988 has high resistance (Ohms Law V=IR) therefore very fucking fat.
Screw sodium cyanide, I'm not going to eat anything at this point.
Just when you thought his maths improved. Only $14.95? Doubt.
If they just cook their own fucking meals, this $15 can be stretched to 2-3 days of meals.
Boogie2988 then talks about his risk of heart attack being astronomical, but apparently it's not high enough because he's still alive. Yet another truth from the serial truthteller.
Also:
Yeah, none of these numbers add up.
Keemstar exploits a couple of fat faggots for clout and cash, where Boogie2988 got smacked in the face by WingsOfRedemption, netting him $10,000.
Part 4 is where Boogie2988 rambles about psychedelics. The only kind of mushroom this fat nigger should be eating is a lv100 toadstool in Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town, twice.
It shows Boogie2988 holding three dried Psilocybe genus (maybe Psilocybe cubensis?) mushroom. The psilocin is usually around 1-2% of the dried mushroom's mass. He'll need around 3-5 of these to have any responses. Three would be a very weak dose, in my opinion anyway.
I've made my views on how I find big pharma detestable pretty clear, so naturally I'm not against psychedelic mushrooms to treat depression. Anything's better than the packed shit these evil companies force on normies.
This is fucking retarded though. Boogie2988 said he died, and implied he rebirthed like a phoenix. Nigger, nothing happening you fat retard. A phoenix self-immolates for a rebirth, I found no news of rampant bushfires in Boogie2988's area due to a lard blob going up in flames.
Overall, it was decent. At least I enjoyed most of it. You're supposed to feel sorry for Boogie2988, but most of the commenters agree that he's arrogant and doesn't deserve any sympathy.
