Fat Sal’s Hollywood became the big kahuna burger in 2019 for a short time as a promo
Ver archivo adjunto 5550145Ver archivo adjunto 5550146
Faggoty and retarded. Nobody really wants a burger that big. If they think they do, they're also a faggot.
Excuse my autistic burger-sperging, I'm almost as much of an autistic asshole about burgers as George Motz.
This is late-80s, early-90s slightly upscale fast food burger, from it's appearance in the movie. So forget your brioche or ciabatta buns, forget your five layers of crap, forget your three types of exotic sauces.
In the movie, it's clearly just a cheeseburger. But if its a Hawaiian restaurant, and they wanted a signature "big kahuna" burger, it's going to be:
- Basically a Hawaiian teriyaki burger, because that's the signature Hawaiian hamburger
- Basically a diner/greasy spoon burger, quality and complexity wise. Everything is going to be cooked on a flat-top grill, but if you don't have one of those, a good, big cast iron pan will do just fine.
- With probably one signature element to make it unique. Because you need something to make it unique, but it won't be something terribly expensive or make preparation much more difficult. It might be a sauce, but usually teriyaki burgers are either unsauced or just with mayo.
Soo, with that in mind, I'm going to propose MembersSchoolPizza's Proposed Hypothetical Big Kahuna Burger:
You will need:
- 1 bun. A basic white bread bun, slightly grilled if you want. You want mid-quality here. Not "great value" or some other store brand garbage, but not artisan and too dense or something. Preferably with sesame seeds.
- A 4oz ball of ground 80/20 chuck.
- Your preferred burger seasonings (I do my own blend with black pepper, salt, garlic, and a dash of smoked paprika and cayenne pepper, but if you want the true "greasy spoon" experience, salt, pepper, and garlic will do!)
- A slice of pineapple. Now, this could go two ways, and I think both would be equally valid... Either canned, because it's basically fast food, or else fresh sliced, because it's California and Hawaiian. Either option will work.
- 1 slice of American cheese. No, put down the cheddar, fuck your swiss. This is a cheeseburger. American.
- 1/2 small sweet onion, shaved into almost paper-thin shavings.
- Teriyaki sauce. If you can source a Hawaiian brand, the flavor profile tends to be a little different, but if you can't, just some Kikoman's or something will do. But if you can find it, I recommend Halms.
- A single slice of iceburg lettuce
- Metallic paper burger wrappers, or, failing that, just a sheet of foil.
- Preheat a cast iron pan or a flattop grill to medium heat. Oil. Prepare your bun by putting a slice of lettuce on the bottom. This keeps it from going soggy, it's not really because you want the lettuce. And it's iceberg, not artisan leaf lettuce. Again, this is not that type of burger!
- Drop your beef ball on the burger, press it flat. We're not going for the true paper-thin smashburger, but the same basic technique.
- Season with salt, pepper, and garlic.
- Pile the whole pile of sweet onion on top of the burger. Press them in good with your spatula.
- Drop a slice of pineapple on the grill.
- Grill the burger until it forms nice crust on the bottom, and then flip, so that the whole pile of onions is now underneath the burger and steaming the underside.
- Flip the pineapple at the same time.
- Squirt/pour about two tablespoons of teriyaki sauce on the hamburger. It will run down off the burger and mix with the onions below, that's fine.
- Cook for another 2-3 minutes
- Drop the cheese slice on the burger.
- Put the slice of pineapple on top of the burger, and transfer the whole stack to the bun. Close it up.
- Wrap the whole thing up, and let it set for a minimum of 60 seconds, and 2-3 minutes is better. This is one of the untalked-about secrets of an amazing burger. The time when the whole burger is wrapped up, all steaming itself, warming everything up, etc.
Enjoy!
The onion technique is borrowed from Oklahoma onion burgers, who would probably use a lot more onion than half a small sweet onion, but I didn't want to overpower it. Raw onion on a teriyaki burger is common, but making it grilled onions is the Big Kahuna twist.
