💼 Careercow Ben Collins / Benjamin Thomas Collins / @oneunderscore__ - Journo Scum

[Useful_Mistake]

The court case against the trustee was closed on January 2nd: https://www.courtlistener.com/docke...d_before=&entry_gte=&entry_lte=&order_by=desc

Looked into it and no doc seems to be attached

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Ben Collins seems to be giving up on other social media platforms besides Bluesky (for now).

Giving up on all platforms bar one seems like a dumb business decision if you're trying to run a mainstream website. How many these days will just randomly decide to visit The Onion? 20 years ago people might do that because it's what you had to do without social media or RSS feeds, but now? You sort of need to push people to remember you even exist.

 

[Bias Judge.]

I did not cherry pick these. Literally the 5 most recent "funny" Onion posts. I wonder if Ben is writing these himself.

 

[FATTESTCUNT 2.0]

I did not cherry pick these. Literally the 5 most recent "funny" Onion posts. I wonder if Ben is writing these himself.
Ver archivo adjunto 6858535Ver archivo adjunto 6858537Ver archivo adjunto 6858538Ver archivo adjunto 6858539Ver archivo adjunto 6858540

Wow, that's really bad. Maybe it's written by AI. That would explain shit like this: -

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I did not cherry pick these. Literally the 5 most recent "funny" Onion posts. I wonder if Ben is writing these himself.
Ver archivo adjunto 6858535Ver archivo adjunto 6858537Ver archivo adjunto 6858538Ver archivo adjunto 6858539Ver archivo adjunto 6858540

Only the first two are new, the last three are 2009, 2000, and 2007 respectively. The Onion Twitter account has been posting old articles for years and it's not obvious unless you click through.

 

[Temperance]

Crossposting:

Judge denies Sandy Hook families' deal for a new auction of Alex Jones' Infowars​

tl;dr Ben Collins takes another L.

[The judge's] decision suggests that the bankruptcy auction can sell only Jones' ownership stake in Free Speech Systems, and not any of the FSS assets that were listed for sale in the first bankruptcy auction, such as Infowars' recording equipment, domain names and its vitamin and supplement online store.

The judge also said on Wednesday he would not approve another auction bid containing a noncash component like the one the Connecticut families submitted in the last auction.

That decision leaves the families unsure how best to recover their damages, and whether they have any other way to help boost The Onion's bid to turn Infowars into a parody of itself and to advocate for measures aimed at curbing gun violence.

---

No response from Ben about this latest development. Here are some other random Bluesky posts I found funny/noteworthy:

Bluesky has "the juice".

Pls subscribe


Ben compares Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) to Michael Jordan:


TRUMP REEEEE






MUSK REEEEEE




Ben Collins jokes(?) about running for public office:


I wonder if Ben ever received money (directly or indirectly) from USAID. I feel like "disinformation reporters" would have been prime candidates for some of that slush money.


Ben felt the need to apologize for The Onion using some AI-generated art:



Ben Collins supports the fedditors. He finds them inspiring!

 

[John.Doe]

Crossposting:

Thanks for the quote/crosspost! I knew that the Onion people had to be pretty bad just from my legal research, but I had no idea they were this bad. Very informative thread, and it only stiffens my resolve to see Jones deny them victory.

 

[behindyourightnow]

Ben felt the need to apologize for The Onion using some AI-generated art:

Funny he says that, because when I saw one of the Onion's recent headlines I genuinely wondered if they're just generating articles by AI now.



Leave aside that it isn't funny--that's to be expected. It doesn't even make sense. What's "a DEI"? Is there a typo in the headline? Even some of the usually-fawning Bluesky comments are complaining that the writing is nonsensical.

 

[A. G. Peak]

Leave aside that it isn't funny--that's to be expected. It doesn't even make sense. What's "a DEI"? Is there a typo in the headline? Even some of the usually-fawning Bluesky comments are complaining that the writing is nonsensical.

I think it's supposed to be a shortened form of "DEI hire." So instead of saying someone is a DEI hire, you say they're a DEI. I haven't seen this in the wild, but maybe some anti-DEI people are saying it that way?

The article itself is painfully unfunny.

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

Is he still seething about the Farms?

 

[Flexo]

Anyone else have trouble telling Ben Collins and Will Stancil apart?

I swear these guys are grown in vats of soy.

 

[AnOminous]

Pls subscribe

Ben doesn't look like Pagliacci at all, plus Pagliacci could make other people laugh.

This worthless faggot piece of shit can only put the last coffin nail in The Onion, which used to be funny.

 

[Temperance]

Is he still seething about the Farms?

Not that I've seen, no. I think he's too busy running The Onion and dooming about Musk/Trump/fascism/etc to bother talking about KF.
(It's probably also embarrassing for him since he was a strong supporter of Keffals and #DropKiwiFarms... and as everyone knows, Keffals turned out to be a druggie grifter, and #DKF ultimately failed.)

Elon Musk just really broke Ben's brain after buying Twitter, and even moreso after he became a member of Trump's inner circle. No space for KF when Musk is living in his head rent-free.
Just look at this cope & seethe:





He's only a half-step away from ranting about a cabal of transhumanist vampires taking over the US government... not so different from Alex Jones, when you really think about it.


"Bloodboys" is referencing this:
https://www.thewrap.com/silicon-valley-fact-check-are-blood-boys-a-thing/
https://techcrunch.com/2017/06/14/no-peter-thiel-is-not-harvesting-the-blood-of-the-young/
https://old.reddit.com/r/TrueAnon/comments/1igqp0s/elon_musk_assembled_a_team_of_usedformer_blood/

Spoiler: The Cabal

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Ben compares Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) to Michael Jordan:

Has Ben ever looked at how she polls among Democrats?

Former disinformation reporter who thinks no planes crashed before in his life.

Just look at this cope & seethe:

What in the world is this man talking about? Even after that guy explained it I don't think he realizes that Elon's "wealth" figure is an estimate based largely on his Tesla stock holdings, not anything that Elon actually "owns" in the real world. Ben seems to think it's "collateral" propped up by "collateral" or something? He's also fucking obsessed with Musk and Twitter but he doesn't know that Elon sold billions in Tesla stock to pay for Twitter when it was in the news and probably reported by NBC. Plus he didn't actually buy out all the large partners, they're part owners of the new private entity. That's where all the "SAUDIS TAKE OVER TWITTER" stuff came from, the Saudi's rolled their existing large ownership share over into Elon's new one. Even Jack Dorsey rolled over his ownership share. Presumably they all got deals like Dorsey did where Elon boosted his share as a percentage of the whole at the existing value. Ben, of course, doesn't realize that this is totally fucking normal and happens every single day.

I'm pretty sure Ben thinks it's "collateral on collateral" because he regularly hears about companies taking out loans to do deals not realizing this is normal because nobody has Scrooge McDuck vaults except banks so banks get a tiny amount of profit from lending the immediate cash. The prior owner of Ben's former employer (GE) was literally rolling over billions of these loans every single year from all its fucking acquisition sprees only without the prospect of ever intending to truly pay them back. I don't think Ben really grasps how much money Elon has to lose, and what the circumstances that would be necessary for that, to not be able to keep paying back the loan to buy Twitter. I have no clue what he means about the other companies, he seems to think Elon personally owns and funds Tesla too.

I also think he seems to be suggesting that Elon will steal the funds from the Treasury and this is his whole interest in government. (FORMER DISINFORMATION REPORTER) As if we don't already know that the government will hand literally infinite amounts of money to anyone who needs to cover billions in loans*, especially in the kind of event necessary for a call on Elon's "collateral" across the board.

*As long as you aren't Lehman Brothers.

 

[Flexo]

https://old.reddit.com/r/TrueAnon/comments/1igqp0s/elon_musk_assembled_a_team_of_usedformer_blood/

"Retard"

The kid who figured out with computers how to read the text on an ancient scroll without touching it.

I hate the "fucking love science" crowd so much. Here's an amazing and cutting edge bit of science, but the guys working on it are "retards" because they are being utilized by "the other team."

I'm surprised sometimes MovieBob isn't more popular when so many seem to be getting as braiddead as him.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

I'm surprised sometimes MovieBob isn't more popular when so many seem to be getting as braiddead as him.

They hate MovieBob because Robert is honest about how horrible and disgusting he is. They like to lie to themselves that he doesn't represent them, when in fact LardoRetardo is a perfect example of their ideological bend.

 

[NicholasScooterBus]

The Onion's twitter/X account was hacked by some crypto scammers. Of course the scam tweet has been deleted, and I didn't get an archive showing it, so I only have screenshots of the scam tweet.

Link | Ghost Archive (doesn't seem to be working)

Spoiler: Post text

This isn't real. Account got hacked. Don't click on anything unless you want your money stolen by incels. We are working on getting the posts removed. In the words of a famous philosopher: "Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm trying to remove it."

The quoted crypto scam tweet:



The Onion was having trouble getting their password changed, and they sent employees home. Ben copes by saying no one actually uses Twitter so it's okay to let them have the account.

Link | Archive

Spoiler: Post text

The Onion got hacked on Twitter today for the first time since the Syrian Electronic Army hacked us in 2013. This time they're selling crypto, which as you all know we love. Crypto is great. I love it. We love it. Twitter is also great. So is Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk, who is normal-shaped.

The hackers are still in there and we're trying to fix it, btw, but everybody is just going home. We have 11 million followers on there and have learned through our analytics that ~19 living people still use that website. We barely post there anymore and it's immaterial to The Onion as a business.

It appears that they did eventually regain control of the account, and Ben hasn't made another post about it.

 

[Temperance]

We have 11 million followers on [Twitter] and have learned through our analytics that ~19 living people still use that website. We barely post there anymore and it's immaterial to The Onion as a business.

Why does he lie like this? Such a sad little man.
The Onion has resumed posting daily on Twitter since the hack. They also pay for a gold checkmark, which is at least $200/month or $2k/year for the basic plan. If they're on the higher tier, then it's $1k/month or $10k/year.

But sure, Ben! Twitter is nothing but bots and is totally immaterial to your business. That's why you're giving money to Elon Musk!

---

---

Over on Bluesky:

Quality "content" from The Onion, as always.


But this was funny.


Lol


Some TDS commentary about Trump's quasi-SOTU address:

Spoiler

Ben was a big fan of Joy Reid (), who was recently kicked from MSNBC.


Just posting this in case it becomes relevant in the future. The Onion, Bluesky, and Project Liberty hosted a party together. This is the first I've heard of them, but apparently Project Liberty is an organization with a goal of "building a better internet". If they're palling around with Ben and Bluesky though, then they're probably up to no good.

---

Ben is not happy with the current Democrat leaders.


He says AOC and JB Pritzker are (or should be) the Dem leaders now.

Ben wants a bunch of Dems to get primaried in the midterms. He seems to flirt with personally running for office.


He's been repeatedly "joking" about this recently. See also:

Ben Collins jokes(?) about running for public office:

But I don't think he's joking. I believe Ben is testing the waters to see how his Bluesky followers react to the "jokes" - obviously hoping to see them clamoring for him to actually run for office.

Based on followers, The Onion and Ben's personal account are two of the biggest accounts on Bluesky (#5 and #51, respectively). I can definitely see Ben thinking he can use this as a springboard to get into politics. And hey! Seeing the current sorry state of the Democratic Party, he might even succeed...

I'm locking it in now. Prediction: Ben Collins will try to primary someone (probably a Dem House Rep) in the 2026 midterm elections.
Go for it, Ben! Make AOC proud!

 

[Temperance]

Funny little interaction with Taylor Lorenz:


Tough guy Ben Collins. I'm convinced he has political ambitions and is trying to flex his "Bluesky muscles".

Yo @durbin.senate.gov, no one is picking up your Senate phone and you don’t even have a voicemail. Vote no on cloture and the spending bill or I will do whatever it takes to make sure the next Senator from Illinois has basic constituent services set up during business hours.

(Durbin is a Dem Senator.)

And it's in regards to a potential government shutdown that Ben wants to happen.


Ben also wants Hakeem Jeffries (one of the top Democrats) to be primaried for only giving a lukewarm statement about ICE arresting a pro-Palestine activist.

The Onion, Bluesky, and Project Liberty hosted a party together.

Ben had fun at the party. (Semi-NSFW)

Ben Collins / The Onion seems to have close ties with Bluesky staff and the Project Liberty people now.

Some party pics/vids:

Spoiler

0:07

0:06

They gave out tinfoil hats, lol. And there's a fresh photo of Ben Collins.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

So Ben’s starting his cancer arc, I see.