Bad Advice Thread - Absolutely retarded suggestions that will make your life worse or even destroy it

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If you are selling drugs, all you have to do to avoid getting arrested is just ask anyone you're selling drugs to if they're a cop. They have to tell the truth!
 
You can survive a fall from any height as long as you fall correctly (aren't retarded).
 
AnOminous dijo:
If you are selling drugs, all you have to do to avoid getting arrested is just ask anyone you're selling drugs to if they're a cop. They have to tell the truth!
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If they say no and then arrest you anyway that's a slam dunk entrapment case, don't even need a lawyer.
 
A real man sticks to his principles no matter the situation.

Fuck compromise. Fuck letting others tell you how to live your life. You're the hero of your own damn story and you should play by your own rules!
 
There is a large untapped vein of gold worth 4.5 billion AUD in Zimbabwe. I'd fly over there and steal it all while you still can! Don't waste time trying to get a visa, bureaucracy will only slow you down!
 
Sundae dijo:
The best breakfast is cocaine. Just pure cocaine, no better way to start your day!
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Forget snorting, you gotta shoot that shit. Cook it down like dope and shoot it straight in to your veins. That way, it's immediately available in your bloodstream, leading to a near instantaneous and much more potent high. It's totally safe, you just have to pad the landing with a little heroin and you'll be golden.
 
If you are having acne problems stop bathing. You are washing off your body's natural defense mechanisms against the microbes that bore into your skin and make zits. To kickstart the production of those oils, coat your face with a poultice of warm mayonnaise ( not miracle whip and preferably helmans), horse radish, apple cider vinegar, and activated wet chocolate
 
meth is great motivator, normal people wake up and think "god, i don't feel like doing stuff today" but that doesn't work on the meth grindset, you gotta wake up and start grinding , gotta make the gains, gotta get the bucks fast to get that meth.
 
On your first date, take her out to Subway and order a meatball sub and eat it in front of her.
Dropping your guts in front of your new girlfriend will only communicate to her how honest and open you are.
 
If you put a toaster in the bath with you. You can make toast and get ready for your day. That's called multitasking. 😎👍
 
America's government is illegitimate and its laws aren't actually real. Cops have no jurisdiction over you so be sure to argue with any officer that pulls you over for "driving without a license or tags". They can't stop you from traveling. The Articles of Confederation say so!
 
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