Awful food you love - Guilty pleasures galore

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Greasy poutine with garlic sauce. Taste so good at first with all the melted cheese curds but is super salty and makes me extremely thirsty afterwards. It’s so good but it’s after effects are generally bad after being digested. It’s something you are generally meant to have with a belly full of beer.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Greasy poutine with garlic sauce. Taste so good at first with all the melted cheese curds but is super salty and makes me extremely thirsty afterwards. It’s so good but it’s after effects are generally bad after being digested. It’s something you are generally meant to have with a belly full of beer.

I've only tried poutine once and it was fuckin amazing. Up there with chili cheese fries for best way to eat soggy fried potatoes

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Popeyes Mac&Cheese and those super shitty cinnamon rolls you get at hotels are for whatever reason really really good

Popeyes mashed potatoes are great. They're so trashy but the gravy is incredible

 

[chihuahua cowboy]

Not exactly awful food, but my guilty pleasure snack is... microwaved pepperonis. I throw pepperonis on a plate and run it for 30 seconds but you can go for longer than a minute if you want to burn them crispy. I’ve done both but I prefer them to be a warm, soggy greasy mess instead. So yummy. No I don’t drink the grease left on the plate.

This is also my favorite. I usually just put them on foil in the oven until they’re crispy. It’s like having pepperoni fresh off the pizza minus the entire pizza

Spoiler: stupidity

don’t use the broil function on the oven to do this or you’ll set your oven on fire

 

[Diet coke made me black]

Pizza dude, I love that shit.

 

[The Spice boi]

Instant Mi Goreng.

Ate so much of the fucking garbage in uni, hated it for about 7 years after. Tried it again, and I gotta say... That awful onion soy flavour reminds me of crippling debt and a full belly

 

[buttvomit]

It's quite tasty, but unfortunately all my western friends say it's crab shit

in baltimore they eat it, call it crab butter and spread it over some bread i like it, also liked lake trout and my favorite was fried chicken livers. for about 6 bucks you would get a box with 1lb of livers, fries, cole slaw and 2 pieces of white bread

 

[Akashic Retard]

Greasy poutine with garlic sauce. Taste so good at first with all the melted cheese curds but is super salty and makes me extremely thirsty afterwards. It’s so good but it’s after effects are generally bad after being digested. It’s something you are generally meant to have with a belly full of beer.

I've been waiting patiently for years for poutine to become popular in the USA and still nothing. This should be OUR dish, the Canadians shouldn't have any good food. And chili cheese fries are no substitute.

Our cousins over in the states have had it for years, but fairly recently, Taco Bell has made its way to the UK.

It's nasty as hell, but I absolutely love it, despite it being the literal McDonald's of Mexican street food.

If they don't have the cheesy gordita crunch and instead have some bullshit kidney pie taco or something you're getting ripped off

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I've been waiting patiently for years for poutine to become popular in the USA and still nothing. This should be OUR dish, the Canadians shouldn't have any good food. And chili cheese fries are no substitute.

Yeah it’s St. Alberts Cheese Curds that make it so good. The best poutine I’ve ever had is from this humble chip shack next to a bar run by an Eastern European guy and his family. The fries are cooked to perfection crisp on the outside soft on the inside. The curds are layered with mushroom gravy poured over top. The shit is amazing.

Edit: the hilarious part too is he’s like the soup Nazi, you have to know exactly what you want or he just continues to watch his Russian/Ukrainian soap operas and ignores you. Also it’s cash only and he sells cigarettes there if you want that with your poutine.

Edit: I heard Minnesota has some great cheese curds especially the deep fried ones at state fairs.

 

[Akashic Retard]

crisp on the outside soft on the inside.

This is key, so many places that serve fries as a side neglect them and it just ends up being forgettable mushy potato crap not even worth eating once you've finished the main part of the meal. When fries are cooked well they are so delicious, I'll eat them with just some salt, no condiments. I assume how the fries are cooked becomes even more important when they are the primary ingredient of the dish. Fries must be crispy. Anything else is just a piece of potato.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Fries must be crispy. Anything else is just a piece of potato.

It’s so popular where I’m at you get all kinds of variations with some pretty mediocre results just so a place can have it on the menu. Even the tourist shop that makes poutine with all kinds of different toppings doesn’t do the fries right but the key to good poutine I’ve found is crispy fries, proper layering and good gravy. Sometimes added toppings are good but simple is usually best. Chopped spring onions go pretty well.

 

[Cripple]

Philly sushi roll.

Anything with cheese is as far from authentic Japanese as you can get and especially an American soft cheese. Other than this I generally prefer nigiri or a simple tuna roll. Yet salmon is my favorite fish and something about cream cheese + soy sauce really hits my tastebuds. (Though I have yet to pull a Chantal and mix them together like her French dressing + shredded cheese disasters.)

 

[Internet Explorer]

If they don't have the cheesy gordita crunch and instead have some bullshit kidney pie taco or something you're getting ripped off

Ngl, I irl kek'd.

I ain't seen the full menu but they got these volcano burritos and goddamn, they hit the spot.

Not like a real thicc burrito y'feel me but...it does the job.

 

[JULAY]

in baltimore they eat it, call it crab butter and spread it over some bread i like it, also liked lake trout and my favorite was fried chicken livers. for about 6 bucks you would get a box with 1lb of livers, fries, cole slaw and 2 pieces of white bread

Ah, Lake Trout... Ain't no lake, and it ain't no trout!

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Nacho cheese dip/glue . The more velvetta it is the better

 

[stupidpieceofshit]

This is key, so many places that serve fries as a side neglect them and it just ends up being forgettable mushy potato crap not even worth eating once you've finished the main part of the meal. When fries are cooked well they are so delicious, I'll eat them with just some salt, no condiments. I assume how the fries are cooked becomes even more important when they are the primary ingredient of the dish. Fries must be crispy. Anything else is just a piece of potato.

The area of a major midwestern city I frequent, if its not a fast food chain they never put any fucking salt on the fries, and they are all soggy and soft devoid of life. The suburbs are way better at this even if fries are soggy and devoid of life at least they have some salt on them.

 

[Begemot]

Based. Best heated in a gas oven.

As for awful food I love, I'm a fan of the potato fritter (a.k.a. potato cake, potato scallop although only actual retards refer to them as "potato scallops"). A thick slice of a large potato, battered and deep fried. If I'm too skint to afford fish and chips, I'll have a couple of potato fritters and chips instead. Or, if I'm really skint, just a couple of fritters.

What about a battered sav, mate?

 

[Precocious Halfwit]

Already mentioned : pink goo meat (hot dogs, sausage rolls etc)

Not mentioned:

garlic bread. 25p frozen and with inconsistent application of both garlic and bread....

10p crisps of the "corn snack" variety. Hello space raiders! Pickled onion flavour obviously!

Citric acid sugar coated sweets or as I call them the crack cocaine of sweets.

Bacon/chip (fries)/crisp (potato chip) sandwich. White bread - must be soft and plapy and not sourdough?!

KFC gravy. Basically salty melted plastic.

If I wasn't so certain that I'm not you, I'd be wondering if you were me. Those foods... well, edible substances... well, substances, anyway... are all big favourites in the Halfwit household. Especially the choice of bread for the butties - sourdough can fuck off anyway because it's overrated, but a nice thick squishy slice of mass-produced bread (I favour Hovis) is the perfect container for those crunchy potato goodies. Bonus if you pop a fried egg in there too.

Remember Transform-A-Snack, those corn snacks that you could build into little car shapes? Back before the work-from-home days my husband discovered that the cheapy shop near his work sold them, and he was so agog at finding these long-lost childhood snacks that he sent me a photo with the caption LOOK WHAT I HAVE. By the way, they're still delicious!

 

[Dick Pooman]

Gas station knockoff McRib sandwiches

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Though I consider bacon to be a favorite staple of my diet, hog jowls are even better.

Hog jowls make your pot liquor or soup beans feel like liquid silk in your mouth. Extraordinary shit.

Turkey pot pies. Awful. Awful. I go years in between having one and the meat is inedible, but goddamn that cheap glassine gravy and the crust and the peas.

And yeah man, that liquid plastic nacho cheese. That shit. That's good shit.