Are Jews vampires?

[The Angry Video Game Nerd]

The defining characteristics of vampires: they tend to be members of the social elite, they suck the blood of their victims, they dress in all black, and they prey on the young. They also have a tendency to be reduced to ashes.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

They must be a pretty advanced form of vampire since they can operate in daylight. The challenge rating of your average Jew must be in the upper teens.

 

[The Angry Video Game Nerd]

They must be a pretty advanced form of vampire since they can operate in daylight. The challenge rating of your average Jew must be in the upper teens.

Actually sunlight was never fatal to vampires until Nosferatu. This was made up to give the film a more climatic ending. In the original novel, Dracula could walk in the sun but his powers were weakened.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

How about the other vampire myths, like garlic? Also, according to Seth McFarlane's animation, the only way to protect yourself from gay vampires is to plug your asshole with garlic.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

I dont see much difference to be honest

 

[Inside your walls]

They do not have sophisticated baritone voices, so no

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Actually sunlight was never fatal to vampires until Nosferatu. This was made up to give the film a more climatic ending. In the original novel, Dracula could walk in the sun but his powers were weakened.

Good point, you reminded me of Dracula being able to walk in the daylight.

That was a damn good book. That scene in the beginning with the vampire women was really creepy.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Yes, Jews die when you ram a plug straight into their hearts.

 

[Skitarii]

Don't care

I will wipe them all out

 

[R00T]

no we aren't.

 

[Named User]

Basically, yes. Blood has to be shed during a Brit Milah (circumcision) 8 days after the birth of a male child.

Spoiler: Jewish Content

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

 

[UCT]

The Jewish vampire or Jewpire is one of the most deadly variants of the creature. Beware especially if you have large sums of money and if you have a newborn son!

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

Bram Stoker's novel, Dracula , was inspired by a historic record he found about Vlad The Impaler, or Vlad Drăculea, But he filled in some blanks using fears of Jewish invasion at the time when many Jews were immigrating to England.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula#Race

While allegory and authorial intent belong solely to the author and nobody else, it is a little easy to read between the lines.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I wonder what @Doc Cassidy would do if he encountered a Jewish vampire...

 

[I've Seen Some More Shit]

Vampires hate garlic.
I've never seen a Jew eat anything without caking it in garlic powder or garlic butter, or sautéing it in garlic. They love it more than Mexicans love tomatoes and black people love petty crime.
So my theory is vampires are a denomination of Jews, but not all Jews are vampires.

 

[Salty Squid]

European jews and gypsies have vampiric ancestry, hence why they both love eating small children, which is a leftover from their need to suck blood, and surrounding themselves with trashy displays of wealth, as they subconsciously try to turn their habitat into the ones of their forefathers, needlessly fancy yet ruinous castles and dank gothic mausoleums.

The rest however have descended from goblins, as seen by their gold-hoarding behaviour, small stature, and large noses.