Apple shitheads do away with escape key

Holy fucking dogshit, there's seriously no ESC key. I did not notice that until now.

I was prepared to get depressed today by how Apple was going to make my current MacBook Pro (Late 2013 retina) look like a piece of shit with their updated lineup, but now I want to continue hanging on to my dear rMBP like grim death!
  • Four Thunderbolt ports that's going to require twelve fucking overpriced dongles to get any real use.
  • Speaking of, what happens if you plug in 2 or more Thunderbolt power adapters to the new MacBook? Huh...
  • I just also realized they're doing away with MagSafe on their mobile Macs. Fucking WHY?
  • I feel the touch bar will help me with my extremely minor problem of finding the keyboard backlight key (vaguely in the top middle) when I'm fapping in the dark. But ultimately, I'm looking at that beautiful retina screen. The keyboard only needs a passing glance so I can position my fingers when I ready up to shitpost online. I don't want to look at the fucking keyboard to do shit now... fuck's sakes.
  • What if I want to boot Windows or some other OS on the MacBook Pro now? Is that Escape key still going to be there? Is that shit built into firmware separate from macOS, or is the Touch Bar going to be blacked out and require me going to have to do some retarded "Fn" key combo for fucking ESCAPE?
Escape key is the most useful key ever, man. So many times it's gotten me out of jams. Like when I was jacking it to those anime porno games, and pressing ESC will pretty much exit out and kill the whole program quickly. Dozens of times I've averted a masturbatory confrontation with that ESC key. The fucking Touch Bar is going to freeze up on the worst times, I'm calling it now.

That shit just kills it man. Steve Jobs' casket must be fucking spinning.

I've only got exactly one year left of AppleCare on my dear little MacBook Pro. Don't worry baby... we'll go to the Genius Bar to get your old parts replaced with new ones before the warranty expires so you'll last longer. I love you, let me hold you in my arms... shhh... rock-a-bye baby... in the tree top...
 
I think the touch bar idea is novel at best. Hell, it'd be a cool addition if the entire top row of the keyboard wasn't scrapped. Just wait, there's going to be some hardware issue with the touch bar and people won't even be able to use it.
 
0xDEADBEEF dijo:
They just announced the new macbook has no function keys either. They replaced it with an emoji touchbar

http://www.businessinsider.com/apple-macbook-pro-touch-bar-makes-no-sense-2016-10
Presiona para expandir...

That shit just proves that their "computers" aren't made for adults, they're made for man children with a bloated sense of self importance.

Why would a programmer ever pick up a Mac? Why would anyone? All the advantages of owning one became irrelevant in the mid 2000s when everyone figured out that Macs couldn't run any games. The one game Macs were supposed to run, which was Spore, was a glitchy mess on the Mac that barely functioned.
 
Seems par for the course.

I have a relative who is an Apple devote and I think the "it's different so it must be better" mindset drives most of that loyalty.

It also, amusingly, leaves them unable to do anything but return it to the store when it starts glitching because they can't call in tech support from the engineer side of the family who all use PCs.

And inevitably the store tells them "you must be using it wrong, we can't seem to duplicate the issue"

It's been biting her in the butt for 15+ years.
 
The sad thing is that Apple is amazing with marketing and design and taking stuff like tablet computers which were toyed with but Microsoft and other companies didn't really see them having a userbase and then marketing them brilliantly so that now tablets are mostly called ipads the same way game consoles are called nintendo by non tech people.

But when it comes to actually manufacturing products, it's just "shit, we need this to be different, let's just fuck with it and make it look nice."

So they just cater to the people who think good looking and expensive = well made.

I used to think they were getting smarter and were actually trying to improve and produce quality instead of just coasting on being a default for people who don't want to mess with android or windows because it requires slightly more thought than just buying the new apple machine, especially when they were slowly hiring developers who did tweaks for jailbroken iphones to implement some of those tweaks as actual phone features, but that was apparently a fluke.

If you want to see the best example of Apple not knowing what their consumer base wants look at all the weird needless redesigns of the ipod shuffle and nano. I don't know maybe it's just me but I would pick the Sony Walkman NWZ W series where it's just an mp3 player built into waterproof earphones any day over the small shuffle and nano redesigns that are the size of a zippo lighter.

https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d4/96/7d/d4967da62094469a4338627236c68e46.jpg
 
ToroidalBoat dijo:
A Commodore 64 may be more useful than the Macs of the future.
Presiona para expandir...

The C64 at least will be able to make bitchin SID chip tunes.

MarvinTheParanoidAndroid dijo:
That shit just proves that their "computers" aren't made for adults, they're made for man children with a bloated sense of self importance.
Presiona para expandir...

Last time I was in the main office of the company I work for, there was a depressing number of Apple laptops. Guess they're popular with faggy Silicone Valley startups as well as Liberal Arts majors!
 
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