Amberisms - Because having them in one place is funny

[hambeerlyingnreed]

"95 percent of the time I spended in bed"

and 6:33 onward from Haven't Brushed My Hair In A Week for ~poetree~

 

[Long time lurker]

"it slid off the wood with fierce"

From her snapchat.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

In her famous Chinese food mukgang, she was talking about the veggies in that weird ramen noodle salad. At some point, she said that it contained “cabbage, like lettuce and onion”. It was like she was saying that cabbage is a combo of lettuce and onion, not it’s own veggie. Is that just me?

"Muckgang" make it sound like she's being raped by food.

I suppose in a way that's true.

 

[Panboys Probation Officer]

"I didn't never not liked ren and stimpy." - Necky 9/8/18

 

[Fatguypewdiepie]

"I didn't never not liked ren and stimpy." - Necky 9/8/18

It's too violent for our necky's taste

 

[Strine]

It's too violent for our necky's taste

It's surprising since it was so influential on Spongebob, but I guess the disguised gay jokes and other adult themes are too intense for an almost-30yo woman who quit her job to show off crayola drawings

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

"the sleeves are laces"

 

[peppy]

Hello Everyone. This is my first post. I recently discovered ALR, the Lolcow that just keeps on giving. It's absolutely fascinating to watch her weight-gain progression and her intense delusional nature! It's a very entertaining car wreck, that's for sure.

WITH THAT SAID..... I want to share the Amberism that I noticed which really makes me want to pull my hair out.

with words that end with "ing" she pronounces it "een"

swimming= swimmeen
gaining= gaineen
eating= eateen
working= workeen

and so on...... It pisses me off a lot!

The other thing is her laugh! Ugh! what a horrible screech. I noticed that a lot of fat girls have the same laugh characterized by being: loud, annoying, and screeching. You'd think that fat girls would want to remain low-key but they are the opposite of that, especially with that screechy laugh.

 

[TheBingeMonster]

I don't know, maybe it's just me but every time I read this thread I have to remind myself that this is Amberlynn we are talking about. If it wasn't for all the references to her weight I could swear this thread was on Chris Chan's glorious writing skills and his very notable quotables.

Could you imagine the masterpiece they could write together?

Edit: Grammar (Something Amberlynn knows nothing about)

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Watch out, AL!

Don't slip on that floor-een!

 

[Long time lurker]

"I'm not, like, a fall-y person". At the end of the "I fell....Twice" video. Thread here.

 

[meepmapmop]

"Hamburger bread" - she doesn't even know the word "buns" (She should, hers are big enough....)

- from Perfection video

 

[sis no]

Amber’s new favorite word is “downgrade” (very telling)! Too bad she doesn’t know how to use it correctly

 

[Xenomorph]

Amber’s new favorite word is “downgrade” (very telling)! Too bad she doesn’t know how to use it correctly

Being with AL is a huge Downgrade from anything.

 

[Long time lurker]

Male-volent - about to watch a movie with Eric and Becky here at 13:13

"I noticed that when I weight myself more than once a week I get all kinds of combobulated" here at 7:35

 

[literally low-key]

From her latest Torrid Haul video in describing the strappy v neck top she bought;

"in the chesticle area"

 

[Xenomorph]

"Oh Mylantis"

 

[Long time lurker]

"my hair looks really badly" from this video.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

"It's 2am right now so obviously doctors aren't open right now"

 

[Strine]

Technically a Beckyism, my own post from months ago but I still think how impossibly dimwitted Becky is for this.

In the BED video where Amber gives a fraudulent spiel about how she was diagnosed with something she doesn't have and wasn't diagnosed with, Becky's powerful intellect was really on display. Did anybody else's brain go off the rails trying to follow this train of thought:
"I've always been a early bird," (not to be confused with an early bird)
"early to rise, early to bed, it's always been the kind of chicken I am."
It must have been someone else driving Amber to Walmart at 3am in 140 consecutive videos this year, although in fairness becky gets up early in the afternoon and goes to bed early in the morning. This very video was filmed in the middle of the night (and indoors, which further justifies the need for a backwards hat. Gotta keep the fierce indoor 3am light off the back of your hair.)
Anyway she follows it up with an anecdote about "this one time" where her sleep was fucked up, and blood shot out of my ears at this quote:
"I've never been up at 8am before, like, and not been asleep."
Oh okay, so you've always been an early bird but you've never been awake at 8am unless you were also asleep.