6/9 CWC always gets her man

[Ron_Swanson]

Yeah he types this now, but if anyone showed up at his door with a person-shaped package gift wrapped, he'd freak out and call 911 while peeking from behind the curtain like an old lady


in short Chris' plans are dumb. Chris is dumb. Oh boy really really so dumb.

 

[tomgirl4life]

Because threatening to hurt someone over a pair of blue arms are a great idea when you have a court appearance in two days stemming from hurting someone over a pair of blue arms..

 

[Shadow]

Sensory overload is some tumblr tier shit from babies who can't function in the real world.

But this is Chris and he's proven he can't function too well in the real world either...

 

[Wally Balljacker]

We've seen how you punch, Chris. You won't make any progress giving these two men really mediocre Thai massages.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

Seriously, if his "friends" wanted to help him they'd take him aside and explain how these kind of posts are wrong.

 

[jc17]

How many more innocents must be maced before his blood lust is quenched?

 

[中國!]

Chris is slowly transforming into the villainous Slaweel Ryam/Mary Lee Walsh herself.

 

[LordCustos3]

Bring to me, in person, the ones called Omar Woodley and Stephen Frost,

Not Your Personal Army, Chris. You want 'em, get off yer fat ass and get 'em yerself.

So I can tell to their faces of my Plights and Troubles I Went and Had to Go Through,

Whhhhoooooooo Cares?
Not us. Not them. Not anyone.

Because of the Sensory Overloading,

Science has not invented technology sensitive enough to detect how little anyone cares about entirely subjective, imaginary disorders like "Sensory Overloading"....which boils down to what, exactly?....you don't like looking at something, so it, should, what....not exist....because you don't like looking at it?
Sooooooo Fucking What?

Horrific Arm Colour Change that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.

I think the blue sanic arms are an improvement. I PREFER the blue sanic arms to the beige ones. The beige arms looked stupid and weird and creepy and wrong, and I'm GLAD they changed it.
I couldn't care less about sanic, but I think the new character model is a vast upgrade from the pot-bellied, pasty-armed mongoloid with the blue vest.
Here, let me show you why

NEW SANIC

==

Cool, dangerous beast with a coat of contiguous fur

"CLASSIC SANIC"

==

Fat, lumpy dork with pot-belly and effeminately shaven arms.

And then, let me Kick and Beat Them Up...

I want the reader to pause and savor this clause. "Let me" kick and beat them up. LET. ME.
As in, he couldn't win the fight if they fought back. They have to....let...OPL beat them up. He needs them to passively sit there while a fat transpotter girly slaps at them....
I always wondered if OPL cheated when he played vidya games, and now I suspect it even more. He seems like he only wants to play the Game of Life if 'God Mode' is enabled.

And then, let me Kick and Beat Them Up upon further refusal to change the arm Colour back to tan in Everything Sonic Boom!

Anyhow, continuing with the previous thought:
They have to....let...OPL beat them up. He needs them to passively sit there while a fat transpotter girly slaps at them....
....because they changed the color of a cartoon characters arms.
Which, if these Woodley and Frost people work for SEGA, they had explicit authority to change the character in whatever way they saw fit. Chris has 0 authority about it. Chris was not consulted because SEGA doesn't NEED to consult him.

Damn and F*** Olmar Woodley and Stephen Frost!!!

Can you hear it, fellow kiwis? The faint bellowing of "CurseyamehaMEH-HAAAHHH!!!" off in the distance?

 

[CWC Tok]

Yeah, this'll look great if anyone pulled it out in court. But I shouldn't expect any better.

This has no relevance on his case and I cannot think of a reason why it would be admissible. I do think it gives cause for concern about his current mental state, however.

EDIT: I am not familiar with whatever Virginia law may be applicable, but it would have to be a massive aberration from the norm to allow this in.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Yeah he types this now, but if anyone showed up at his door with a person-shaped package gift wrapped, he'd freak out and call 911 while peeking from behind the curtain like an old lady


in short Chris' plans are dumb. Chris is dumb. Oh boy really really so dumb.

He'd also probably react the same if said package showed up like this:

Spoiler

Stupid jokes aside, He really is all bark and no bite... All mace and no fight.

 

[SOINCHU]

Well any hope for Chris being "scared straight" in terms of threatening and freaking out about blue arms is all gone now.

I had at one point thought his lawyer might have directed him to refrain from commenting on Sonic "blue arms" protests etc on Facebook. Guess I was likely wrong on that one. I know the Gamestop incident is a low priority case. However...if ever there were more clear character evidence as to Chris's propensity for aggressive (even when fleeing) behavior: this is it.

 

[Hat]

I wonder how much of the whole blue-arms thing was actually decided by this producer. He would certainly need to approve it, but isn't Woodley less to blame than the graphic designers are?

 

[Quijibo69]

Chis really wants a 3 way with Omar Woodley and Stephen Frost.

 

[Colress]

Can't imagine what you had to Gi through, Chris... all that "macing people", yep, totally not your fault. Good thing you're Giing to court in a few days.

(sorry if someone pointed that out already)

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I just burst several blood vessels not A-Logging.

But really Chris, they aren't going to take you seriously with just ONE trip to jail.

*edit

Remember when I said Chris wasn't so much retarded as he was insane?

 

[Kirby]

blue arms on sonic = "sensory overload"

i have nothing further to say about this

 

[tepid]

You know it's serious when he doesn't tell you to "stay safe" after he threatens you.

 

[Karellen]

I remember when Chris wanted Megan brought before him.

That didn't happen either.

Spoiler: fanart idea

Chris(tine) as Jabba the Hutt asking for those people.

Spoiler: Like this?

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I would have thought that Chris would be happy to have blue Sonic around. After original Sonic died in that skiing accident, this is all he's got left.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Chris's priorities are, are usual, impeccable.

Hopefully I'm severely overestimating Chris's fervent zeal for Sonic's blue arm crusade and he somehow doesn't commit another crime by, I dunno, spraying some autistic graffiti on a sign advertising the new game or hiding away all the Sonic Boom plushies again or something equally Chris-esque.