2026 New Year’s Resolutions

[Snusmumriken]

Welcome to twen-neigh twen-neigh six, year of the horse—or whores, if you’re so inclined. What’s YOUR resolution? Are you going to stop being a fat fuck and try to become a slimmer fuck? Are you gonna start paying down your credit cards, you optimistic little wage slave? Are you going to drink more water and less straight vodka no chaser? One of those is my resolution, but I’ll never tell. Post your new year delusions here!

 

[Istmyl Ilsender]

 

[Wuhan Wet Market]

Ny resolution is to stop making resolutions I'm going to abandon after a month

 

[DefinitelyNotMe]

Close one of my debts, start a buisness, stop taking naps after work and go to sleep at normal times

 

[Snusmumriken]

Close one of my debts, start a buisness, stop taking naps after work and go to sleep at normal times

Better learn how to spell business first OOOOH GOT EM but seriously godspeed to you friend

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

Ny resolution is to stop making resolutions I'm going to abandon after a month

A whole month?

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Get paid for my work, do more aggressive savings, either move to a new apartment or get a new laptop

 

[Stabby_Pencil]

Drink more water maybe. Paint the damn 16 x 20 canvas with something. Actually finish and complete a sketchbook, oh and do a mixing chart.

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

Obligatory monitor joke. Not going beyond 1080p.
And in reality, nothing beyond getting stronger. I can't get fit, so I will just focus 100% on strength.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

Be much more diligent about brushing my teeth.

 

[KuntyFukLugs]

Slim down, pay cash as much as possible, reject government regime, remember my motto: Muzzie ran, No business from Jan.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

I made a resolution probably around 84 or so to never make another New Years resolution. Haven't broken it and don't plan to.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

First order of business is to lose the extra holiday weight

I actually did well on last year's resolutions so I plan to maintain them in 2026, I made more time to read books and comics, and this year I want to write a short review in my journal about what I read, watch, and listen to.

I have an action plan set up to improve my side gig and art skills.

I also want to spend money more strategically- I'm not a big or impulsive spender, but I want to prioritize small and local businesses. It costs more but I'm sick of shitty Chinesium. Honestly, I could stand to learn more DIY skills so I can maintain what I own as long as possible.

 

[Too Sneed to care]

I really don't like who I became, I used to have a lot of motivation and work out so I think I'm going to go back to that sorry to sound like an emo fag but

Get back into BJJ
3 to 4 days at the gym
Drink less, etc

 

[73_Autistic_Fuck_54]

I intend to become less FAT

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

1. Go to the gym 3 times a week (already started but struggling with consistency)
2. Improve my sleep hygiene
3. Start a “scroll journal”: after mindlessly scrolling online, write a brief journal of what you’ve learned. It makes you more mindful of pointless scrolling, and helps you retain useful knowledge you happen to have come across
4. Practice driving 3 times per week

 

[Rabbits]

i'm getting into chess lately so i'm really wanting to obtain and maintain >1500 elo
i really want to submit art into an art show
put more effort into relationships

 

[Wujime]

I'll either fix my life or kms

 

[NaggotFigger]

My resolution was to express my passion of the arts and make Kiwis joyous through my mischief and hidden references.

 

[Electric Mortar & Pestle]

Escape the cycle of keeping clothes I like but no longer fit into by either losing the weight or abandoning all hope and FATMAXXING.