[ 2020 JULY 1 (WED) ] beg-trospective marathon

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Comma dijo:
Well, he seems stupid as fuck, because he just sent a $31 dollar tip telling DSP not to read the message while at the same time broadcasting said message all across the screen.

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I swear... Where does he keep finding these people?

-EDIT- Alright, this person needs some professional help.

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They are probably going to wake up tomorrow with a killer hangover wondering why their credit card is maxed out.
 
actually dijo:
He's at approximately $350 just in tips today. That's why.
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For that, I will gladly refer to Phil as the Almighty Pigroach. It's the least I can do to acknowledge the sheer extent to which he face-tanks his way into securing that gacha money his addiction demands.
 
TheGoutburglar dijo:
Even I can hardly believe that Phil is drawing so much attention to how much worse he looks now compared to what is really not THAT many years ago.

@Surly Muppet I know his tax spiel is nothing more than prepping for begging, but I'm still pretty eager to find out how much of it winds up becoming true in the future, as we know that Phil's capacity for that kind of thought is practically nonexistent. Meaning, for example, how hilarious would it be for him to lie about a lien being a possibility for the purpose of extracting cash from his paypigs, only to have it actually take place?

I mean, when you think about it, the bankruptcy court never set its will upon wrecking Phil's life the way they could/should have, and that's probably the real reason he got his Chapter 7. I'm not counting on the IRS doing what they elected not to, but he IS nonetheless, more than likely, working on motivating them to.
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I can't believe there isn't a lien already. And no one stopped him from making his tax payments that were never going to be discharged but himself.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl dijo:
Phil has a higher amount of dollars contributed than viewers today while providing the absolute bottom of the barrel shit content. I can see why Twitch keeps him around tbh. Phil prints SSI checks for Twitch, which just happened to be sent out today.
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But I thought he was dodging Twitch's bread and butter by begging for tips.
 
What an absolute shit show that was. It’s just getting worse and worse. There were long stretches where he’d just reminisce to chat (most likely to himself) about the technical ins-and-outs of YouTube. There were so many instances of Phil watching old clips of playthroughs, where past Phil would launch into casual racism or sexism, or pussy and fuck jokes, and present Phil would either give us the “nyooooh my gaaahd...” and follow that up with the usual “See how immature I was back then? I’ve changed SO much over the years, dood.” The funniest part about those moments is that Phil acts like he was just a teenager who didn’t know what he was saying, when “in reality” he was anywhere from his late twenties to early thirties.

The other way he reacted was that painful exaggerated loud and slow laugh. The “Aaahh aaaawh awww aaaaah!” So which is it, Phil? Does it embarrass you, or do you think it’s hilarious.

Of course the most insufferable part of these retrospectives is that DSP constantly laughs at his own jokes while he’s watching the old clips, which (to me) is one of the most obnoxious and arrogant things someone can do. It’s not so bad if you’re with a group of friends, and someone says something truly hilarious that gets everyone laughing, and the person that said it laughs along some. But... when someone is doing that alone? It’s just so pathetic.

He’s also starting to watch clips that he’s already watched in other retrospectives. Honestly, how much longer can he milk this crap?
 
KD6-3.7 dijo:
He’s also starting to watch clips that he’s already watched in other retrospectives. Honestly, how much longer can he milk this crap?
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When it stops making him money. Not his fault this faggotry keeps working for him. He has no shame so he'll wring it to the last penny. IDK why it still works though, he's so fucking boring now and compared to his old stuff where he at least did or said something just highlights how scared he is of stepping over the line on Twitch.
 
Gramh dijo:
Let's just call these not gaming streams what they really are, DSP masturbating himself for dollars just this time he kept his fly up.
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Well I don't know about you but I'm bored and horny so let's jerk ourselves off for a change. How about a retrospective of our very own?

You have done more with your life than DSP, regardless of your age, living situation, or yearly net income, if you have accomplished any of the following:

  • Held down official employment for more than two years
  • Leveraged your secondary education to secure employment
  • Performed volunteer service work (for any number of hours)
  • Put at least $0.01 toward your own wedding
  • Planned, started, and finished a home improvement project on your own
  • Assembled a piece of furniture or other household item
  • Paid your taxes on time
  • Maintained a single long-term friendship
  • Paid off a loan or credit balance on your own
  • Sought professional treatment for a physical or mental health issue as an adult
  • Beaten a video game made for the last two console generations without the use of cheats, FAQs or extensive guidance from other players
  • Formulated and contributed to a personal retirement plan
  • Paid off a mortgage

These accomplishments require the development of qualities and skills that nurture personal growth and a willingness to engage with the outside world. They are things Phil has avoided doing despite the means, resources and time being perpetually available to him over the last eleven years. He will continue to avoid doing them in perpetuity because comfort is more important to him than progress, and to him comfort is what is known, what is easiest and what will most protect him. And just like Phil's retrospectives, we'll be able to revisit this list year after year and gaze longingly at it, without ever having to worry about it changing.

Now pass the lube.
 
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