1000 signs you're a kiwi

[The Ultimate Ramotith]

368. Yo use Kiwi Farms ratings (emoji optional) even outside The Farms.

 

[Acceptable]

369. you peaked in kindergarten

 

[CrazyRandomZyn]

370. You literally call anyone annoying you "sperging"
371. An increase in anger or outburts or laughing

 

[Coleslaw]

365. You only accept Kiwi Farms silver rounds.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

372. You regularly read American Psycho so much that you start to write/type posts as if you are Patrick Bateman

 

[Meat Target]

373. You powerlevel just a tad here, to make yourself feel/seem normal

374. You don't tell anyone, even close family and friends, about the Farms, out of embarrassment

376. Due to this, you have used Kiwi Farms lingo IRL, but hum and haw when people ask what those words mean

376. You have more respect for cockroaches and mosquitoes than you do for journalists

377. You either love anime avatars, or you despise them

378. You avoid all other social media, either out of principle or because you've come to understand the value of privacy

 

[DrJonesHat]

379. The fact that Chris raped his mother doesn't bother you as much as it should.
380. You think DDoS attacks should be punishable by execution via firing squad.

 

[Coleslaw]

381. You've given up on enforcing post numbers.

 

[King Fructose]

382. On very rare occasions you bump an old thread because you just spent half an hour reading all the posts and you’re sad that there are no more.

 

[Shiversblood]

I think when I started to actually comprehend thAt kiwi as a fruit did have the connection to New Zealand but also the bird.

 

[Crystal Golem]

384. Your instinctive response to questions about the weather is "it's not even hot outside"

 

[CrazyRandomZyn]

385. Insults like "Fate Fan/Weeb detected" roll off like water off of a duck's back
386. You scroll for interesting threads in anticipation for removing boredom

 

[formershroomeryuser]

I think when I started to actually comprehend thAt kiwi as a fruit did have the connection to New Zealand but also the bird.

Yes

 

[Gravemind]

387. You've seen so many "pit bulls are baby killers/children maulers" memes on here that when a friend links you a video of a pit bull getting right in a pregnant woman's face and staring her down** upon realizing that she's pregnant, you don't share your friend's sentiment of "ISN'T THAT SWEET? DOGS KNOW," but instead think "that pit bull is premeditating murder."

** Notable because direct eye contact is usually a sign of challenge + asserting dominance in body language for dogs and particularly nervous and/or dominant personalities may escalate aggressions if eye contact is maintained

 

[Happy Fish]

388: Chris having sex with Barb is your 9/11

 

[Meat Target]

362: When you were a kid and some asshole broke a bone on the playground and you just smiled because lol that shit was funny ngl

389. Since becoming an adult, this has burgeoned into a full-blown Schadenfreude addiction.

390. Too much exposure to @CatParty threads have turned you into a clone of Mel Gibson.

391. You cannot stand to hear boomers talk.

392. You start trying to self-improve so you don't end up like the lolcows you mock.

393. Skinny men with beards and glasses, and fat people, fill you with irrational anger.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

390. Too much exposure to @CatParty threads have turned you into a clone of Mel Gibson.

God willing.

 

[6thRanger]

394. You sometimes have to consciously stop yourself from using slurs when speaking to people.

395. You have a deeply rooted distrust of discord.

397. You feel slightly annoyed when people double post on forums.

398. You have thought about how you would act if you were an e-celeb more than most people have.

 

[Moderna]

399. You sometimes wonder if you've ever unknowingly met another kiwi.

400. Your expectations for the intelligence and sanity of random people you meet have been lowered into hell.

401. The cow that first drew you in is no longer your favorite.

402. You're scary good at guessing if and when people will troon out based on their social media posts.

403. You have a suspect level of cybersecurity knowledge in the eyes of normies.

 

[Done Goofed]

404 you assume any redditard or twittard user who claims to be a "girl" is a fat bald man with a zz top beard

405 you cannot look at fat women and not wonder does her instagram warrant a beauty salon thread