🗑️ Trashfire Ethan Ralph allegedly killed a dog in 1993 - 🦮🪑

[The Demon Baby]

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At what point do you just come to the realization that working for Ralph just isn't worth it both financially and upward social mobility-wise, Gator? You are working 130 hour weeks to janny the fuck out of Ralph's latest fiasco. You're making like 11 cents an hour, Gator. Little kids in Chinese sweatshops making Nikes make more money than you. How does that feel, Gator?

 

[Seminal Ointments Lain]

Null's quiering weenie boy-cock twitched wildly between the obese cheeks of the trans-child he had caputred. He busted prematurely, filled the child's butt-crack with a terrible clear viscious sebeum. Clear and smiley. Wholly absent of the virility of a living man. For sure, Josh was dead. A fat waddling husk in search of child flesh. Specifically trans-child flesh. After failing to sodomize the trans-kid entirely due to his stinky little pinkie dinkie. He bought him McDonalds and did nothing but shower mindless and inaccurate praises on him. As the boy ate, Josh spoke of the wonderous taste of his pre-teen genetalia. The boy cried, knowing he would be tormented and raped, and forced to be a jannie on the Gunt board. But he would know no satisfuction specifically due to the terribly tiny tim tinkles his tiddly weenie winkie was capable of.

It's true. If any journalists or Federal Agents would like to know more. E-mail me at lainointmentsreal@protonmail.com

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

Null's quiering weenie boy-cock twitched wildly between the obese cheeks of the trans-child he had caputred. He busted prematurely, filled the child's butt-crack with a terrible clear viscious sebeum. Clear and smiley. Wholly absent of the virility of a living man. For sure, Josh was dead. A fat waddling husk in search of child flesh. Specifically trans-child flesh. After failing to sodomize the trans-kid entirely due to his stinky little pinkie dinkie. He bought him McDonalds and did nothing but shower mindless and inaccurate praises on him. As the boy ate, Josh spoke of the wonderous taste of his pre-teen genetalia. The boy cried, knowing he would be tormented and raped, and forced to be a jannie on the Gunt board. But he would know no satisfuction specifically due to the terribly tiny tim tinkles his tiddly weenie winkie was capable of.

It's true. If any journalists or Federal Agents would like to know more. E-mail me at lainointmentsreal@protonmail.com

Pretty good, but are you sure he can even bust?

 

[Seminal Ointments Lain]

Pretty good, but are you sure he can even bust?

I'm a homeless man. I farm for Monero using Penn Station's Wifi in NYC.
I've seen men bust.
I've seen them rusrt.
I've seen them melt away into dust.
I've seen the reason. I know the rhyme.
It's true, damnit.
I say it all the time.

 

[The Megalodon]

Honestly, this sounds like it could have happened...however....

Ralph is 35-36. Back then we didn't have cell phones at school.
The mother would have had to call the school and then inform the kid that the pet would have passed away. Possible, if the mother had to go to work and wouldn't be home when the child was coming home. I could believe that. That would make logical sense.

I can completely accept this as a viable story... again, however...

What of the puppies that he put in the oven? How old was he? What does he have to say about that?
It seems like an awful amount of puppies die around Ethan Ralph.

This isn't anything unique either ; he's sharing an awful lot in common with Amy Slaton right now.

Ralph said that he was picked up from school after getting the news. Most likely scenario is she dropped him off at school, ran an errand and came home to find the dog had wrapped itself around the legs of the chair.

As for the puppies, he said they were born premature and that his dad was feeding them with a dropper and keeping them in a shoebox with a heating pad under it to mimic an incubator. His dad put them in the oven with the heating pad sometimes. The door was open though. There wasn't a lid on the box. They did this multiple times. The door wasn't closed. He said they didn't make it because they were premature. He almost cried telling the story and talked about it being a good memory of his dad.

Now, the real crime here is that instead of mocking Ralph for almost crying on air over his premature puppies dying while he's shitting on the guy he taunted for getting emotional about his dog dying, people on here are just making things up. That was an easy dunk.

 

[Famke Slamssen]

Now, the real crime here is that instead of mocking Ralph for almost crying on air over his premature puppies dying while he's shitting on the guy he taunted for getting emotional about his dog dying, people on here are just making things up. That was an easy dunk.

lol

 

[Snappy Jappy]

Ralph said that he was picked up from school after getting the news. Most likely scenario is she dropped him off at school, ran an errand and came home to find the dog had wrapped itself around the legs of the chair.

As for the puppies, he said they were born premature and that his dad was feeding them with a dropper and keeping them in a shoebox with a heating pad under it to mimic an incubator. His dad put them in the oven with the heating pad sometimes. The door was open though. There wasn't a lid on the box. They did this multiple times. The door wasn't closed. He said they didn't make it because they were premature. He almost cried telling the story and talked about it being a good memory of his dad.

Now, the real crime here is that instead of mocking Ralph for almost crying on air over his premature puppies dying while he's shitting on the guy he taunted for getting emotional about his dog dying, people on here are just making things up. That was an easy dunk.

Gator... go get a real job dude

 

[AltisticRight]

Maybe he looked at the forums or five second and realized how easily it was to propagate bullshit on. Imagine believing IRL Lolcows.

Keep stroking the knot.

Keep defending your master faggot, what can you get from just "looking at the forum" to arrive at your projected idiotic conclusion?

It's pretty fucking obvious, they stumbled upon the pig, knew him from youth, looked him up, and saw loads of news articles and an entire subforum discussing his antics.

(Right, you meant "looked at the forums for five seconds, you spell like a fucking drunken hick)

VS

They closely studied the forum which would take days, and decided to make up such a bizarre and specific lie. A lie so specific, when "kitchen chair" is mentioned, your piggy master gunt somehow immediately thinks about the puppy he viciously hung. Your master even knew who the person was, made up? I don't fucking think so.

An engineer at a pretty well established company is a lolcow? What does that make your master then, faggot. You just registered today, don't pretend you've been through the main thread and all the major happenings. You're just here to suck the gunt crease.

Keep sweeping.

 

[Seminal Ointments Lain]

Alritghr Guys,, I stole a mslal child's puppy and my dick is hard.


Wjat should I do? CYOA

Keep defending your master faggot, what can you get from just "looking at the forum" to arrive at your projected idiotic conclusion?

It's pretty fucking obvious, they stumbled upon the pig, knew him from youth, looked him up, and saw loads of news articles and an entire subforum discussing his antics.

(Right, you meant "looked at the forums for five seconds, you spell like a fucking drunken hick)

VS

They closely studied the forum which would take days, and decided to make up such a bizarre and specific lie. A lie so specific, when "kitchen chair" is mentioned, your piggy master gunt somehow immediately thinks about the puppy he viciously hung. Your master even knew who the person was, made up? I don't fucking think so.

An engineer at a pretty well established company is a lolcow? What does that make your master then, faggot. You just registered today, don't pretend you've been through the main thread and all the major happenings. You're just here to suck the gunt crease.

Keep sweeping.
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Wait, are you actually Eli the Gator A-Log?

MOTHERFUCKER
UNBAN ME FROM THE GUNT BOARD
I HAVE A NEED
A NEED TO SNEED

 

[RichardRApe]

I've been slipped some incriminating discord audio. Severe warning there is extreme Anti-Semitism and Ralph spells out what he used the oven for.

 

[TherapyMan]

I've been slipped some incriminating discord audio. Severe warning there is extreme Anti-Semitism and Ralph spells out what he used the oven for.
gas_puppies_dads_idea.mp3
not_the_oven.mp3

Case closed: Ralph raped puppies in a microwave when he was in fifth grade. Verdict: Guilty. Sentence: Death by drawing and quartering the Gunt.

 

[Famke Slamssen]

I've been slipped some incriminating discord audio. Severe warning there is extreme Anti-Semitism and Ralph spells out what he used the oven for.
gas_puppies_dads_idea.mp3
not_the_oven.mp3

The second soundbyte you posted is probably the first time Ralph has intentionally made me laugh in the several years I've been aware of him.

 

[heathercho]

Ralph said that he was picked up from school after getting the news. Most likely scenario is she dropped him off at school, ran an errand and came home to find the dog had wrapped itself around the legs of the chair.

As for the puppies, he said they were born premature and that his dad was feeding them with a dropper and keeping them in a shoebox with a heating pad under it to mimic an incubator. His dad put them in the oven with the heating pad sometimes. The door was open though. There wasn't a lid on the box. They did this multiple times. The door wasn't closed. He said they didn't make it because they were premature. He almost cried telling the story and talked about it being a good memory of his dad.

Now, the real crime here is that instead of mocking Ralph for almost crying on air over his premature puppies dying while he's shitting on the guy he taunted for getting emotional about his dog dying, people on here are just making things up. That was an easy dunk.

Believable.

However...

The major sticking point here is that Ethan meet the accusation of murdering the puppy with complete and utter acknowledgement.
This would mean that he's heard the accusation previously.
A normal person would be shocked to hear such a thing, especially if it's the first time hearing it, yet Ethan didn't seem non-plussed by this whatsoever.

I can hand-wave away the story of the puppies in the oven, because frankly that's plausible. But the sticking point still remains in how completely unfazed Ethan was by the allegation. That leads one to believe that he'd heard of it previously. In what context did it previously come up?

Even so, in the event he hadn't, what of the story of him teasing the individual about the pet's death?

What I'm saying is, whilst most things you can attribute to plausible deniability (the pet dying without interference from Ethan, the mother picking the child up from school, the puppies dying because they're premature etc) the fact that this individual had beef with Ethan over this EXACT incident and Ethan's subsequent lack of surprise, isn't so easy to wave away.

 

[The Megalodon]

Believable.

However...

The major sticking point here is that Ethan meet the accusation of murdering the puppy with complete and utter acknowledgement.
This would mean that he's heard the accusation previously.
A normal person would be shocked to hear such a thing, especially if it's the first time hearing it, yet Ethan didn't seem non-plussed by this whatsoever.

I can hand-wave away the story of the puppies in the oven, because frankly that's plausible. But the sticking point here is how completely unfazed Ethan was by the allegation. That leads one to believe that he'd heard of it previously. In what context did it previously come up?

Even so, in the event he hadn't, what of the story of him teasing the individual about the pet's death?

What I'm saying is, whilst most things you can attribute to plausible deniability (the pet dying without interference from Ethan, the mother picking the child up from school, the puppies dying because they're premature etc) the fact that this individual had beef with Ethan over this EXACT incident and Ethan's subsequent lack of surprise, isn't so easy to wave away.

You should go back and watch the stream and try to skip past the boring ass court parts and find where he's going back and forth in chat with null. He sounded completely flabbergasted that he was being accused of actually killing the dog. I think there is a bit of a problem with people getting their shit from guys like perspicacity who have personal vendettas against Ralph.

 

[High Tea]

You should go back and watch the stream and try to skip past the boring ass court parts and find where he's going back and forth in chat with null. He sounded completely flabbergasted that he was being accused of actually killing the dog. I think there is a bit of a problem with people getting their shit from guys like perspicacity who have personal vendettas against Ralph.

I think what they are talking about is when the kitchen chair was brought up, Ralph thought of the kid's dead dog. Why not say everyone has kitchen chairs and it doesn't mean anything? Why bring the kid's dog up at all? Ralph must have been aware of this accusation or bullying the boy about it and the particulars stuck out in his mind all these years later. No one could prove Ralph knew this kid had a dog or that Ralph's dog had puppies. He could have just said Josh was full of shit about everything and left it at that.

 

[Popper Whiting]

You should go back and watch the stream and try to skip past the boring ass court parts and find where he's going back and forth in chat with null. He sounded completely flabbergasted that he was being accused of actually killing the dog. I think there is a bit of a problem with people getting their shit from guys like perspicacity who have personal vendettas against Ralph.

I think there is a bit of a problem with you and Ralph reacting. For over a year now we've been having a lot of fun watching everyone around you lose their shit and deep-six any credibility they have because you and people around you cannot ignore shit posts. Carry on about "ALAWGS" and "BROKE DICK FARMS" all you want, but the simple truth is if you weren't a bunch of horribly thin skinned faggots most of us would have grown bored with the whole process and moved onto something else. It has always been this way on the internet. What is happening to you and Ralph is your own fault for putting yourself in the firing line to begin with and chimping out in an entertaining way when you cop even the slightest bit of flack. Stop blaming others for a situation you put yourself into that you don't have the smarts, maturity or ability to cope with. You're where you are because you put yourself there.

 

[Lone Outsider]

Is Ralph gonna put his kid in the oven like he did with those puppies?

I hope not, better yet let Ralph get sent to the oven, make sure he's cleaned thoroughly, the dachshunds need good but clean meal.

 

[JewnitedDisgraceOfAmerica]

When the a-log dopamine hits so good you get them hallucinogenic visuals

'Sup gaytah

 

[NibbaBibba]

You should go back and watch the stream and try to skip past the boring ass court parts and find where he's going back and forth in chat with null. He sounded completely flabbergasted that he was being accused of actually killing the dog. I think there is a bit of a problem with people getting their shit from guys like perspicacity who have personal vendettas against Ralph.

You mean like how Ralph has a personal vendetta against Null, PPP, uh .... Vickers and many others? He goes so far as to state that he will stab someone in the throat because of said personal vendetta? He's publicly stated that he wants to see Null broke or even dead, specifically because he just hates him.
But you belief what Ralph says as fact while he holds more personal vendettas against everyone who slightly insults him, odd.

 

[Null]

You should go back and watch the stream and try to skip past the boring ass court parts and find where he's going back and forth in chat with null. He sounded completely flabbergasted that he was being accused of actually killing the dog. I think there is a bit of a problem with people getting their shit from guys like perspicacity who have personal vendettas against Ralph.

His classmates contacted me. This isn't a forum rumor. The people who knew the real Ethan Ralph for years sent me an email almost 30 years after the fact because he was such a horrific cunt that they were curious what he was up to. That's your surrogate daddy.