Awful food you love - Guilty pleasures galore

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Anything from taco bell. I know it's bad for you, but it is great. That and they have baja blast.
 
Velveeta. Absolutely awful shit, but if your queso doesn't use it, I want nothing to do with it.
 
Another vote for frozen pizza, specifically anything made by Dr Oetker. I couldn't care less if it contravenes some sort of hidden pizza purist rule, I LOVE the super-thin crispy base and all of the toppings they provide. Plain old margherita is my favourite (Pollo is a close second but none of the shitty student-oriented mini supermarkets in my area carry them), with either mustard or Japanese okonomi sauce for dippin'.

Chicken flavoured Batchelor's Super Noodles. Cook as instructed, shovel into face, and use a nice wholesome piece of white bread to mop up the remains.

Finally, I should really turn in my Bongland passport for this, but QT instant tea. For those not in the know, it's a blend of tea and powdered milk and you simply mix one teaspoonful into boiling water for an immediate cuppa. It's tantamount to heresy and admittedly tastes nothing like actual tea, but I think it's fine in a pinch and the teabag thieves at work won't touch it!
 
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£1 dinner, covers the 3 main food groups, potatoes, sodium and fat. I wish I knew how to quit you.
 
Not exactly awful food, but my guilty pleasure snack is... microwaved pepperonis. I throw pepperonis on a plate and run it for 30 seconds but you can go for longer than a minute if you want to burn them crispy. I’ve done both but I prefer them to be a warm, soggy greasy mess instead. So yummy. No I don’t drink the grease left on the plate.
 
Pepsi blue, I bought a bottle out of nostalgia and now I'm worried I've created a monster and won't be able to stop.

Also 7/11 nacho, especially the disgusting cheese. I dump half my chips out and fill it with the cheese (chili goes in the side cup). At the end, the chips are so soggy and floppy that you need a fork.
 
My food heaven is traditional chav buffet food - seafood sticks, cheap sausage roll, vol-au-vents full of sandwich filler and e-coli, soggy cheese and onion quiche. Maybe a mini scotch egg. All served luke-warm and slightly dried out, off a flimsy paper plate. It's a pavlovian-association with disco lights and fleeting happiness from my 80's childhood.

I have no excuse for my hungover craving for all day breakfast in a tin, I got into that as an adult when I should have known better. It tastes of failure and regret, eaten cold out of the tin washed down with a hair-of -the-dog lager before the hangover really kicks in on the morning commute.

Anything with that old-fashioned fake strawberry flavour. Most of the e-numbers in it are probably banned now. Look, if I wanted realistic strawberry flavour, I'd just eat strawberries, ok?
 
Clovis dijo:
My food heaven is traditional chav buffet food - seafood sticks, cheap sausage roll, vol-au-vents full of sandwich filler and e-coli, soggy cheese and onion quiche. Maybe a mini scotch egg. All served luke-warm and slightly dried out, off a flimsy paper plate. It's a pavlovian-association with disco lights and fleeting happiness from my 80's childhood.
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I refer to buffet food simply as 'brown food'. It's breakfast food in my house for about a week after Christmas and it's wonderful.

Speaking of 80s childhoods and paper plate buffets, I have two words for you, pal: PARTY RINGS
 
Clovis dijo:
My food heaven is traditional chav buffet food - seafood sticks, cheap sausage roll, vol-au-vents full of sandwich filler and e-coli, soggy cheese and onion quiche. Maybe a mini scotch egg. All served luke-warm and slightly dried out, off a flimsy paper plate. It's a pavlovian-association with disco lights and fleeting happiness from my 80's childhood.

I have no excuse for my hungover craving for all day breakfast in a tin, I got into that as an adult when I should have known better. It tastes of failure and regret, eaten cold out of the tin washed down with a hair-of -the-dog lager before the hangover really kicks in on the morning commute.

Anything with that old-fashioned fake strawberry flavour. Most of the e-numbers in it are probably banned now. Look, if I wanted realistic strawberry flavour, I'd just eat strawberries, ok?
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You need to microwave those sausage rolls to get them nice and soggy then drown them in tomato sauce. The only palatable sausage rolls when sober are greggs.

If you were a young un in the 80s did you ever come across sausage rolls in a tin? I've had family members tell me they were lush
 
Pickled herring, a pickle (or any pickled veggie) on the side, chunk of cheese, and a piece of bread is still my favorite lunch. Its similar to the plowmans lunch, wash it down with some ice water and a smol warm coke.
 
I like salted rice wafers. They're dry and don't have a lot of taste but I somehow still like them.

And there's this abhorrent mix I started to eat as a kid, which consists of microwave rice, canned fish in tomato sauce and cheese on top. It smells disgusting but tastes really, really good.

Last but not least: liver and heart as well as blood sausages.
 
Precocious Halfwit dijo:
I refer to buffet food simply as 'brown food'. It's breakfast food in my house for about a week after Christmas and it's wonderful.

Speaking of 80s childhoods and paper plate buffets, I have two words for you, pal: PARTY RINGS
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It's "beige" in my household but the same. It's amazing how many things can be contained within pastry. Party Rings are my holy grail. I was taught to repeat that "I'm not allowed party rings or orange squash because I have allergies" thinking back, maybe my mum was just cheap and didn't want me to know what I was missing. I might have been robbed. My friends used to share their Iced Gems with me at lunch tho, so I wasn't entirely deprived.
CloacaRimjob dijo:
You need to microwave those sausage rolls to get them nice and soggy then drown them in tomato sauce. The only palatable sausage rolls when sober are greggs.

If you were a young un in the 80s did you ever come across sausage rolls in a tin? I've had family members tell me they were lush
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Sausage rolls in a tin? Holy shit, I'm from a post-apocalyptic northern estate but we had to draw the line somewhere. That sounds barbaric. I tried a fray bentos pie once and had to throw it away then take the bin out because of the noxious smell. Yet I do absolutely agree that sausage rolls gooey out the microwave are the best.
LifeguardHermit dijo:
Pickled herring, a pickle (or any pickled veggie) on the side, chunk of cheese, and a piece of bread is still my favorite lunch. Its similar to the plowmans lunch, wash it down with some ice water and a smol warm coke.
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I can only go on my experience of kosher pickled herring nonsense salad. The sweet-sour-oily fish flavour always made me literally gag but I'm up for re-evaluating herring - There's got to be a use for it, right? I can see a good herring/vinegar combo working out. Might have to be brave and do a weird shop. Are rollmops a good place to start?
I do second the pickled veg/cheese/bread combo though.
 
Clovis dijo:
I can only go on my experience of kosher pickled herring nonsense salad. The sweet-sour-oily fish flavour always made me literally gag but I'm up for re-evaluating herring - There's got to be a use for it, right? I can see a good herring/vinegar combo working out. Might have to be brave and do a weird shop. Are rollmops a good place to start?
I do second the pickled veg/cheese/bread combo though.
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You want to start with simple pickled herring in white wine. It's sweeter, the least oily of all. Just fork a piece right out of the jar. No prep. Just shake most of the wine/vinegar brine off and try it. It should taste of Nothing but wine with a slight fish flavor. Then move on the to german and scan varieties.

Appel's Filetierte Blatheringe right out of the tin is amazing. It's fried marinated herring in a vinegar sauce.
 
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Clovis dijo:
Sausage rolls in a tin? Holy shit, I'm from a post-apocalyptic northern estate but we had to draw the line somewhere. That sounds barbaric. I tried a fray bentos pie once and had to throw it away then take the bin out because of the noxious smell. Yet I do absolutely agree that sausage rolls gooey out the microwave are the best.
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I can only eat Gregg's sausage rolls, every other sausage roll I've had is a horrible bite sized imitation, usually served at shit parties on a paper plate, the mini quiches are like fucking crack once you've had a few beers though.

Fray Bentos used to be really good from what I remember. The ones you get now are shit, watery gravy hardly any meat, rubbery crust (I used to like the soft underpants of the crust) but they're shite now. I read somewhere an additive in it was the same stuff they used for roadworks, might needto do some fact checking.

For nostalgia notes, pot noodles used to be great. Ones you get now are rubbish. They used to be so rich and salty and had little pieces of soy in them. Think it's the only time I'd unironically eat soy if they brought the original recipe back.
 
Sorry @Clovis, I forgot to mention: rollmops can be hilariously pungent. If you see a ton of oil floating in the jar avoid it. Avoid it in general until you find you like the whute wine pickled herring.
 
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