💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votos: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votos: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votos: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votos: 34 2.1%
  • October-November 2024

    Votos: 37 2.3%
  • December 2024

    Votos: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votos: 256 16.1%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votos: 261 16.4%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votos: 930 58.5%

  • Total de votantes
    1,591
Jack's food addiction an allegory for his craving for Alabama Blacksnake? Yeah, seems legit.
I think it's a warning to us all that the old stories may have some truth to them, that there are things no one can explain, and that maybe, just maybe there may be things in this world that hide just out of our sight.

Jack Scalfani is a wendigo, is what I'm saying.
 
Google says a caesar salad with chicken, cheese, croutons and dressing is over 1000 calories. Add his pizza bowl of 1400 calories and Jack is already over his daily limit with 2400 (assuming a man of his height who is inactive should be eating no more than 1800 calories). A man trying to lose weight should maybe aiming for 1200-1400 calories???

Add in lunch, breakfast, snacks Jack probably smashed 4000 calories that day.
 
This right here is one of several reasons why I post very infrequently on social media. People who post like this think they're riffing and being witty, but it's really just cringey narcissism and tedious babble- boring thoughts to have to yourself, let alone share.

This probably sounded sooo good to Jack in his head, yet he's unaware of how autistic it sounds in literally anyone else's 😂. And the punctuation- my god- as the reader, I'm hearing this in the same, droning cadence of Ben Stein. If Jack threw in a question mark, a couple exclamation points, and maybe a well-placed ellipsis and emoji, he'd have something more emotive and less smarmy.

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A few months ago I made a post about how Jack's posture was being affected by his stroked arm and how he would have to wear some type of device, otherwise his back was gonna be fucked. The infuriating thing is that I know for sure his doctor must have told him about the changes that happen to hands and arms after strokes, and Jack simply ignored it until there was no other option but to cave in, just like he's done with his weight (multiple times.)

Jack is the type of patient all medical professionals kinda use to cope with the fact that they can't do it all. If someone doesn't give a fuck, you simply cannot help them.
 

LOL at the closing: "They're working closely with me on my rehabilitation." Because it just wouldn't be Jack if he didn't throw in a little nugget of self-righteousness. No, they aren't working closely with you- they're not interfacing regularly to check in on how the product's working. They're not anxious for the verdict from Jack Scalfani. You aren't as special as you think. Saebo is working just about as closely with you as .STORE is.

At 1:20, he proclaims that the device is working on him, despite only having used it 3 days. I'm no doctor (highest certification I hold is EMT-B), but I think any measurable improvement in stroke rehabilitation takes far longer than a few days. And letting the arm atrophy for the past 2 years makes this effort feel like too little too late. He'll eventually give up after a stretch of time without desired improvement.

I keep asking myself "why now?" I doubt the Lazy Man randomly decided to contact Saebo at the suggestion of his friend "James" to try and fix his situation after not giving a fuck for two years. I'm guessing James is a company rep for Saebo who kindly brought Jack some product samples to try. Jack then needed to make it sound like he's being an adult and taking initiative, so ofc he says he reached out to them.
 
They sell it for $199 and it has a 30-day trial. He's probably going to return it in 30 days after his arm still doesn't work.
I pity the underpaid worker who has to process the return of that mayo-drenched, raw meat dripping-infused glove.
 
Google says a caesar salad with chicken, cheese, croutons and dressing is over 1000 calories. Add his pizza bowl of 1400 calories and Jack is already over his daily limit with 2400 (assuming a man of his height who is inactive should be eating no more than 1800 calories). A man trying to lose weight should maybe aiming for 1200-1400 calories???

Add in lunch, breakfast, snacks Jack probably smashed 4000 calories that day.
And yet he's still going to say at some point that he lost weight this week.
 
so aside from a couple weeks of PT, jack doesn't do anything about his arm for 2.5 years and then only starts using something extremely basic because his friend probably had it sent to him for free

either that, or his doctor told him he needed to do something about the arm ASAP or risk amputation. pretty much just like his weight and why he suddenly started "profile by sanford"
 
I'm sure Jack, the man who hasn't ever even entertained the thought of learning how to cook for his cooking show and who let his arm atrophy into being unusable because of laziness, will turn his life around at the 11th hour.
 
This right here is one of several reasons why I post very infrequently on social media. People who post like this think they're riffing and being witty, but it's really just cringey narcissism and tedious babble- boring thoughts to have to yourself, let alone share.

This probably sounded sooo good to Jack in his head, yet he's unaware of how autistic it sounds in literally anyone else's 😂. And the punctuation- my god- as the reader, I'm hearing this in the same, droning cadence of Ben Stein. If Jack threw in a question mark, a couple exclamation points, and maybe a well-placed ellipsis and emoji, he'd have something more emotive and less smarmy.

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Why would Jack wish for it to be Friday?

It's not like he has a 9-5 Mon-Fri actual job...

Not that making videos isn't a job, but in Jack's case they are so half-assed that I'd put it down to the hobby category.
 
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