💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votos: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votos: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votos: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votos: 34 2.1%
  • October-November 2024

    Votos: 37 2.3%
  • December 2024

    Votos: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votos: 256 16.1%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votos: 261 16.4%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votos: 930 58.5%

  • Total de votantes
    1,591
Jack says that the food network pitched an idea of having him and Guy Fieri host a show together, but that they didn't want him because he no longer lived in California. If it was me, I'd rent a cheap place in Cali and fly back for a few months to film. Once that's over, head back to Nashville until the next batch of episodes is needed. Jack's lying out his ass on this one.
I'm trying to imagine a Food Network executive pitching this show: "You know how we have our kind-hearted star who raises positivity and awareness to local businesses, donates to charity and is a professional chef and restaurateur? Well, I know this mentally impaired, unemployed, hyper-critical, scooter-ridden, son-bludgeoning xenophobic guy who can't cook and harasses servers by sticking cameras in their faces. I think they'd go great together!"
 
I'm trying to imagine a Food Network executive pitching this show: "You know how we have our kind-hearted star who raises positivity and awareness to local businesses, donates to charity and is a professional chef and restaurateur? Well, I know this mentally impaired, unemployed, hyper-critical, scooter-ridden, son-bludgeoning xenophobic guy who can't cook and harasses servers by sticking cameras in their faces. I think they'd go great together!"

Jack hits fuck all demographics on top of that.

He can't relate to younger audiences because he's this weird god botherer who comes across as a pompous boomer.

He doesn't appeal to the christian crowd because he's a hypocrite who likes to beat his son

He doesn't appeal to the serious foodies because he can't cook anything more complicated than a chilli

He doesn't appeal to the ethnic or minorities demographic because he's low-key racist and can't cook any of that food to an acceptable degree

but do go on jack, I 100% believe that were in cahoots with the food network to cohost with all around nice guy and cherished living meme Guy Fieri.
 
Nothing wrong with a 10:45am lunch, some people wake up at 5am every day. Jack probably wakes up at 10am though.
When I lived in a college town with bars every two feet, it always weirded me out to see people drinking at 8 AM. I just assumed everyone there was an alcoholic, until one time I talked to a dude who explained that he worked nights & that this was him pretty much having a drink after work with his buddies on Friday "nights." I was taken aback because this had never occurred to me. (Though I'm pretty sure most people there were still alcoholics.)

Jack is not the guy who works nights. Jack is the alcoholic that gets up first thing in the morning to hit the bar, but with shitty fast food.

This was also the Jack version of CWC's "BOLDY SPICY!" Mighty Wings review, change my mind.
 
Jack hits fuck all demographics on top of that.

He can't relate to younger audiences because he's this weird god botherer who comes across as a pompous boomer.

He doesn't appeal to the christian crowd because he's a hypocrite who likes to beat his son

He doesn't appeal to the serious foodies because he can't cook anything more complicated than a chilli

He doesn't appeal to the ethnic or minorities demographic because he's low-key racist and can't cook any of that food to an acceptable degree

but do go on jack, I 100% believe that were in cahoots with the food network to cohost with all around nice guy and cherished living meme Guy Fieri.
the christian, republican, boomer crowd is the only demographic jack appeals to because he shares their political views
 
Why does this “pastor” dress like a nu-metal faggot from 2001?

Because that style of dress was hip when he was a kid, but like almost all religious types who try to appeal to the youth he's horribly out of touch and never realized that fashion evolves and styles get dropped and picked up all the time.
 
The show had to be an offshoot of World's Worst Cooks. Guy Fieri spends two weeks with Jack in order to teach him how to ACTUALLY cook. In the end, he gives up after Jack makes the 15th chili in a row.

Actually, I wonder if that’s the offer he received. It’s really the only thing that make sense. Food Network scouts have to able to tell with just a quick glance that his cooking is subpar, and while I can see it going both ways I think Jack would have jumped at the chance to get on a show even if he had to stay in CA for a while. A Worst Cooks type offer would have been a slap in the face.
 
That's actually kinda really sad but then again it's Jack so I have trouble feeling sorry for him. He's accepted that he's an avatar of Gluttony and all he'll do for the rest of his likely short life is get driven around to cram endless amounts of calorie-dense food into his stomach.
yeah, it's honestly impossible to feel bad for him. he's dug his own grave but could climb out of it any time he wants, even with his gimp arm and snapped tendons. he just doesn't give a shit. if i thought that jack had the capacity for more emotions than Anger and Food-Fueled Glee, i'd almost think he was severely depressed or suicidal at this point
 
I'm trying to imagine a Food Network executive pitching this show: "You know how we have our kind-hearted star who raises positivity and awareness to local businesses, donates to charity and is a professional chef and restaurateur? Well, I know this mentally impaired, unemployed, hyper-critical, scooter-ridden, son-bludgeoning xenophobic guy who can't cook and harasses servers by sticking cameras in their faces. I think they'd go great together!"
Exec 1: "Hey you know what turns out we could make more money making a show that would bomb."
Exec 2: "Oh really? How could we make a show that would bomb for sure?
Exec 1: "I found this guy on Youtube, he will be perfect!"
Exec 3: "Wait...isn't that the plot to The Produc...
Exec 1: "SHUT UP!"
 
"I'm not promoting them..." while a banner with the McDonald's logo exclaiming "spicy nuggets are out!" is displayed during the whole video. And hasn't McDonald's put a stop to all day breakfast due to the pandemic? I know here you can only get the breakfast burritos and hotcakes after 10:30am now. So assuming that's the case, personally find it kind of gross to eat shitty spicy fast food that early.

Once I went into a Carl Jr's about 10:45am for breakfast, and heard someone in the drive thru order a spicy chicken sandwich and wondered "what kind of person orders that at this time?"

And now I know.
I fucking hate how people arbitrarily decide which foods you can and can’t eat at certain times.

if I want to have a turkey burger for breakfast it’s just as valid as having cereal.
 
Sorry if this is late but is there actual proof of Jack getting any sort of offer from Food Network, or is it just Jack lying in livestreams? I can't imagine for a second how a Food Network scout would find Jack, he only has 450k subs and he makes everything out of cans, plus his meat (the only thing he consistently cooks that doesn't come in a jar) is always undercooked so I can't see what would pique their interest. An episode of a show where he gets help from a real chef makes more sense but I still don't buy it.
 
Nothing that says Jack's videos like them doing their signature tongue extensions to scoop in food like a chameleon.
It is an uncannily common deathfat move. All the great deathfats do it. From Chantal to Amberlynn to Jack and Tammy. I've never seen anyone else do it unless maybe they're eating noodles and even then it's not like the Alien emerged from their throat to devour the food. It's disgusting and fascinating at the same time.
 
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