💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[rubytintedchix]

Jack couldn't even cook the most basic of omelettes when he had 2 working arms and 0 strokes. There's just no way he can be dangerous as the the stroked out chair-planted wad of fat he is now.

Unless maybe his scooter toppled over and he crushed you under his mighty girth

You don’t need 2 working arms to make an omelette. Just a ziplock baggy and a cauldron of boiling water.

 

[The Neutral Observer]

Let's be honest here, Jack is pretty much unemployable. He's too fucked up to do anything physical, too uneducated for anything that requires intellectual labour, too toxic to do anything social, too old for anyone to want to invest in him as an employee; and, above all, he's too lazy to do anything, period.

Is he not able to qualify for disability? He can't stand or walk very well, and he has lost functionality in one of his arms, so I would imagine he would qualify. I don't know if he already is or not.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

Is he not able to qualify for disability? He can't stand or walk very well, and he has lost functionality in one of his arms, so I would imagine he would qualify. I don't know if he already is or not.

Apparantly, these are the conditions which have to be met in order to apply for disability in Tennessee:

To satisfy the SSA definition of disability, the condition must be severe enough that it does the following:

1. It must last for at least one full year.

2. It must interfere with normal activities of daily living and the ability to perform basic work activities.

3. It must present a level of severity that prevents the claimant from being able to engage in work activity that earns what Social Security considers to be a substantial and gainful income

I think his stroke arm fits the time criterium, but probably isn't enough given that it's not that inhibiting, and it's ultimately self-inflicted by Jack being a stubborn retard who refused to exercise.

Stroke arm + not being able to walk? Seems a lot more likely, but he's only been gimped like that for a couple of months, tops. He'll have to wait until 2021 before he's crossed the required threshold, and this crippleness is supposed to be a temporary thing.

Jack ain't getting shit unless his foot conpletely fails to heal, causing him to remain a Rascal for a year. Even then, it'll be hard to argue that his condition is affecting his ability 'to engage in work activity' considering that his job is making Youtube vids, and he's been able to make them with some help from T. He'd have to plead poverty and admit that his Youtube "''career'''' doesn't bring in any substantial income.

 

[DX10]

Here's a Jack Rerun where he calls Campbell's very middle-of-the-road, tolerable if overly salty chicken noodle soup "the grossest thing ever" while also claiming that it's "supposed to be top of the line".

Then he proceeds to make chicken noodle soup with revolting-looking chicken and three fucking cartons of 1.3liter chicken broth! That's 13 grams of sodium!

 

[Fascist Frederick]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=KPPCwmU5OHQ
Here's a Jack Rerun where he calls Campbell's very middle-of-the-road, tolerable if overly salty chicken noodle soup "the grossest thing ever" while also claiming that it's "supposed to be top of the line".

Then he proceeds to make chicken noodle soup with revolting-looking chicken and three fucking cartons of 1.3liter chicken broth! That's 13 grams of sodium!

I would drink gallons of Campbell's chicken noodle soup before I even ate a bite of a chicken "cooked" in the Scalfani household.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=KPPCwmU5OHQ
Here's a Jack Rerun where he calls Campbell's very middle-of-the-road, tolerable if overly salty chicken noodle soup "the grossest thing ever" while also claiming that it's "supposed to be top of the line".

Then he proceeds to make chicken noodle soup with revolting-looking chicken and three fucking cartons of 1.3liter chicken broth! That's 13 grams of sodium!

bruh

When showing off the finished product, Jack says "the carrots look like they're not cooked through, but they are". Press X to doubt.

 

[Captain Ahab]

I think it’s truly amazing how despite decades of experience Jack’s cooking hasn’t improved at all. Literally all of his life revolves around food, yet he sucks fucking ass at cooking. You’d think he could pull off some Michelin-tier recipes at this point. Fuck no. The mong can barely cook a cup of instant noodles. I think it’s truly amazing. It’s like he’s impervious to knowledge. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

 

[Aaway]

I think it’s truly amazing how despite decades of experience Jack’s cooking hasn’t improved at all. Literally all of his life revolves around food, yet he sucks fucking ass at cooking. You’d think he could pull off some Michelin-tier recipes at this point. Fuck no. The mong can barely cook a cup of instant noodles. I think it’s truly amazing. It’s like he’s impervious to knowledge. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

i think the fact that he's somehow still alive despite all his various health issues is even more amazing than the fact that he's made zero improvement at cooking over the last 13 years

 

[rubytintedchix]

i think the fact that he's somehow still alive despite all his various health issues is even more amazing than the fact that he's made zero improvement at cooking over the last 13 years

That’s because he’s cured himself twice over in the amount of sodium he’s consumed.

 

[TurdFondler]

Woah woah woah

Where exactly does Jack think chicken broth comes from? Why add chicken broth to the ingredients that make chicken broth?

This is the dumbest fucking guy.

Also, as an aside, I like to imagine that after Jack dies the crematorium will fuck it up and he'll come out crispy on the outside but raw in the middle.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

He can still do office work, like being at a call center, without any trouble other than getting his fat ass out of the chair at the end of the day.

Yeah but no. Besides most call centers have been outsourced to India, Ireland or some other country where they can speak passable English and work according to a script / flowchart and get paid a lot less than what they would get here.

Then he proceeds to make chicken noodle soup with revolting-looking chicken and three fucking cartons of 1.3liter chicken broth! That's 13 grams of sodium!

I'll be the first to admit that a carton of that chicken broth is a decent substitute when you need it. Like as the base to a soup or if you need to deglaze a pan and simmer something. It's nowhere near the quality had you made it yourself but it is a good time saver.

I do suggest getting the reduced or no salt version though especially if you plan on reducing it. The salt content of those things is lethal.

 

[feral cat #6385]

You don’t need 2 working arms to make an omelette. Just a ziplock baggy and a cauldron of boiling water.

I was horrified when I saw that episode yesterday.

How soon will we be able to add cancer to the long list of Jack's maladies?

Is he not able to qualify for disability? He can't stand or walk very well, and he has lost functionality in one of his arms, so I would imagine he would qualify. I don't know if he already is or not.

As long as Jack has a working mouth and prehensile tongue. There's at least one type of job he can do. If you catch my implication...

 

[Freedom Fighter]

As long as Jack has a working mouth and prehensile tongue. There's at least one type of job he can do. If you catch my implication...

The day I see Heart Attack Jack on feeder reddits is the day I finally shotgun myself
In minecraft

 

[DX10]

I'll be the first to admit that a carton of that chicken broth is a decent substitute when you need it. Like as the base to a soup or if you need to deglaze a pan and simmer something. It's nowhere near the quality had you made it yourself but it is a good time saver.

I do suggest getting the reduced or no salt version though especially if you plan on reducing it. The salt content of those things is lethal.

Cartoned chicken broth is not much better than Campbell's though let's be honest, and using three cartons of it is just way overkill considering how concentrated that stuff is.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Besides most call centers have been outsourced to India, Ireland or some other country where they can speak passable English and work according to a script / flowchart and get paid a lot less than what they would get here.

Minimum hourly wage in Ireland is 10.10 EUR, which is about 12 USD. US federal minimum is 7.25 USD.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Minimum hourly wage in Ireland is 10.10 EUR, which is about 12 USD. US federal minimum is 7.25 USD.

I guess it depends where you are or maybe it was something from a couple years back. I'll admit to not really examining call centers since I last worked in one.

 

[feral cat #6385]

The day I see Heart Attack Jack on feeder reddits is the day I finally shotgun myself
In minecraft

Why do you think he used to go by jackattack69?

Those religious nuts are always the biggest perverts.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

i think the fact that he's somehow still alive despite all his various health issues is even more amazing than the fact that he's made zero improvement at cooking over the last 13 years

He's moving and he makes sounds but I think "alive" is kind of a stretch.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Why do you think he used to go by jackattack69?

Those religious nuts are always the biggest perverts.

Because he has the mental maturity of a 12 year old pre pubescent boy.

“69. Get it? Tee hee.” *covers his mouth to stifle a giggle*

 

[Whatthefuck]

Is he not able to qualify for disability? He can't stand or walk very well, and he has lost functionality in one of his arms, so I would imagine he would qualify. I don't know if he already is or not.

I doubt very seriously that he would get disability without a lengthy fight. He's not disabled enough. I've know someone who had a debilitating stroke, no function on his left side and he didn't qualify without having to repeatedly appeal. He can walk when he's not blowing out his Achilles walking 3 miles. He's only out an arm at this point and that's nowhere near enough. There are folks missing limbs who aren't on disability. He could work as a WalMart greeter. He could do reception work. There are many things he's capable of doing. Disability here is literally put into percentages. They judge your ability to work based on what percentage you are disabled. In Jack's case, I'd say they'd only find him minimally, as in 10% ish disabled.