💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aaway]

You're right, it was the BTK Killer. He was a stand up church member and a family man with a dark side. Not saying Jack is a serial killer, but you can never judge one from a cover. Jack is a BLT killer at best.

jack couldn't be a serial killer even if he wanted to be

he's just a nutjob who has no problem telling the world he has homicidal thoughts about people and animals. and oh yeah, that he choked out his own son until his nose bled. i mean, that's not something a sane person does in the first place, but this piece of shit went and bragged about it to the entire world

 

[Lenzperkins]

Aren't most serial killers in decent shape? I'm sure plenty were pudgy or had spare tires, but I can't think of any who had one dead arm.

True. . this was him when all limbs were functioning.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Jack is a BLT killer at best.

This is a wet meat post.

 

[feral cat #6385]

I just skimmed through the Saturday live chat. He mentioned that his last stroke was a brain stem stroke. He followed that up by saying he's lucky to be alive and that no one had survived one before. At least part of that is true. It is like he can't help but lie.

I've been watching old Cooking with Jack videos all day. After the next stroke I don't want him dead. Death is too good for him. I want him to suffer. I want him to end up like Captain Pike where all he can do is drool and communicate with beeps.

 

[Super Hans]

True. . this was him when all limbs were functioning.
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What's the context? It looks like he got worn out getting the mail.

 

[Dave Meltzer]

I've been watching old Cooking with Jack videos all day. After the next stroke I don't want him dead. Death is too good for him. I want him to suffer. I want him to end up like Captain Pike where all he can do is drool and communicate with beeps.

Only way he would suffer is if he can't eat. Even if he lost the ability to chew Tammy would just chew food for him and spit it into his mouth like a bird. That or she'll throw bacon, sour cream, bone broth, and seasonings into a blender and make him keto shakes.

What's the context? It looks like he got worn out getting the mail.

From the old Jack on the Go intro video.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

I've been watching old Cooking with Jack videos all day. After the next stroke I don't want him dead. Death is too good for him. I want him to suffer. I want him to end up like Captain Pike where all he can do is drool and communicate with beeps.

And he'd probably still find some way to unintentionally move in a way that's flamboyantly gay.

 

[AnOminous]

And he'd probably still find some way to unintentionally move in a way that's flamboyantly gay.

When he dies, even his rigor mortis will be gay.

 

[Lenzperkins]

What's the context? It looks like he got worn out getting the mail.

This was from his old Jack in the Go intro, where he's chasing the Best BBQ Sauce mobile.

 

[desudesu]

Why does he think someone would shoot his wife? Is he paranoid?

He is worried that one of his white knights will manage to see through Big T's devious plan to have Jack eat himself to death in order to cash out the sweet life insurance money, and thus putting a stop to that.

 

[salmonellajack]

Big T is an absolute unit, why would she need Jack's protection. She is the alpha in the relationship

 

[Eljudnir]

I think that Sumo might be a better fit for him.

He'd be the first man to lose weight while doing sumo (also lmao at the idea of him making it through 5 minutes of a sumo workout).

 

[cuddle striker]

he rarely ever puts the recipe in the description. probably happens like once every 10 videos


are you referring to the general tsao's chicken video? yeah, old jack used to embrace his fuck ups. a far cry from the thin skinned bitch he's become

like a water balloon, the bigger he gets, the thinner the container walls

And he'd probably still find some way to unintentionally move in a way that's flamboyantly gay.

When he dies, even his rigor mortis will be gay.

My radar pinged and brought me to this thread to begin with. His beard is pretty rugged, I've got to give him that much.

 

[Richard Mongler]

Jack couldn't even cook the most basic of omelettes when he had 2 working arms and 0 strokes. There's just no way he can be dangerous as the the stroked out chair-planted wad of fat he is now.

Unless maybe his scooter toppled over and he crushed you under his mighty girth

 

[captkrisma]

Jack couldn't even cook the most basic of omelettes when he had 2 working arms and 0 strokes. There's just no way he can be dangerous as the the stroked out chair-planted wad of fat he is now.

Unless maybe his scooter toppled over and he crushed you under his mighty girth

Someone shound suggest a shooting range video for his livestream

 

[John Carmack]

Jack couldn't even cook the most basic of omelettes when he had 2 working arms and 0 strokes. There's just no way he can be dangerous as the the stroked out chair-planted wad of fat he is now.

Unless maybe his scooter toppled over and he crushed you under his mighty girth

Literally this boss fight

Dead Rising 3: Darlene Psycopath Boss Fight (1080p 60fps)

Boss fight with the scooter lady (Darlene Fleischermacher) in Dead Rising 3 on PC with max settings. Darlene Fleischermacher is a psychopath in Dead Rising 3...

www.youtube.com

 

[arthurdaley]

It's like how he started up several different channels, each focused on different things. Like his "Tech Time" channel where he gives a boomer explanation for this new piece of tech he just got. People rightfully complained and questioned him on why he's essentially just being a shill for some cheap Chinese crap he purchased at Walmart when he's obviously not skilled or technical in any way. And in many cases it's just him reading some write-up on the product in question.

His answer? Something along the lines of, "well I like this stuff and if it spreads the word then that's good". Needless to say the views on Tech Time aren't impressive. It's just an excuse for him to waste Big T's money.

Techtime is a scam. Jack set it up, so he can buy gadgets, computers, phone holders etc and put them through as a business expense. The same way he eats shit at shit restaurants and can put the food bill through as an expense to offset his tax liabilities.

 

[Lenzperkins]

Jack couldn't even cook the most basic of omelettes when he had 2 working arms and 0 strokes. There's just no way he can be dangerous as the the stroked out chair-planted wad of fat he is now.

Unless maybe his scooter toppled over and he crushed you under his mighty girth

I just imagine him like Livia Soprano coming down the stairs in the automated chair. The walls would need shit load of reinforcement for Jack's load.

 

[gingerthief]

Why does he think someone would shoot his wife?

Big T is an absolute unit, why would she need Jack's protection. She is the alpha in the relationship

Seriously, if anyone's getting murdered it's Jack. He poisoned the wrong person with his rancid/burnt/raw meat concoction and they're out for revenge.

But I guess Jack's Cobra Kai, so intruders don't stand a chance.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

He can still do office work, like being at a call center

lolno. The attributes they look for in employees are agreeability, stress durability and literacy (both regular and technological), all of which Jack lacks. Call centres are also notoriously brutal work environments, hence why they prefer recruiting young students and the like who are desperate or naieve enough to be bullied into unironic wage slavery. No fucking way a guy as pugnacious, arrogant and thin-skinned as Jack would last longer than a week.

Let's be honest here, Jack is pretty much unemployable. He's too fucked up to do anything physical, too uneducated for anything that requires intellectual labour, too toxic to do anything social, too old for anyone to want to invest in him as an employee; and, above all, he's too lazy to do anything, period.

Jack’s becoming a bit more obsessed with becoming a podcaster isn’t he?

Of course. He won't have to exert himself pretending to cook like he does now. All he will have to do is literally sit in front of a camera.

lol what the fuck?

"if someone comes in to shoot my wife, they're getting shot." i'm losing it at the image of jack's lard ass frantically running to get a gun and then struggling to load it properly because he only has one working arm

i'm losing it at the image of jack's lard ass frantically running to get a gun

Jack running