- Registrado
- 16 de Ago, 2018
🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Iniciador del tema BILLY MAYS
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- Registrado
- 11 de Oct, 2018
You mean 'snack', Tess. Snack. Because we all know that was just a side for a sheet cake.
- Registrado
- 21 de Feb, 2016
You think she cried upon seeing that her "doughnuts" could both fit in the palm of her meaty paw?
- Registrado
- 4 de Nov, 2019
That donut is what her asshole is going to look like once she shits out all that bougie Sakara food. Poor Jolene (or whoever Tess' designated asswiper is)
- Registrado
- 10 de Nov, 2019
Tess for better or worse the Bible verse regarding "when I was a child I behaved like a child, but when I was a man I put away childish things" (paraphrase I know) was written for a reason.
Past 21 birthdays are just another day. They should be celebrated with family but tastefully. You are no longer entitled to the whole world stopping for you on your special day and you are for fucking sure not entitled to 3 cakes across different times.
Grow. The. Fuck. Up.
At this rate your oldest son will be a fully actualized adult before you.
Past 21 birthdays are just another day. They should be celebrated with family but tastefully. You are no longer entitled to the whole world stopping for you on your special day and you are for fucking sure not entitled to 3 cakes across different times.
Grow. The. Fuck. Up.
At this rate your oldest son will be a fully actualized adult before you.
- Registrado
- 16 de Ago, 2018
I’d be crying for how expensive those doughnuts are. For $420 a week, it’s $84 a day (considering that a week in this meal plan is five days). If there are three meals a day without snacks included, those doughnuts are worth $28 (84/3). You could buy a dozen doughnuts at a local doughnut shop for the price of those two doughnuts. I get that Tess might not be paying for this, but the finances of it make me cry a little.
Oh yeah, a year of this plan costs $21,840 (based on $420 weekly).
- Registrado
- 17 de Feb, 2017
It makes me think she saw a tablecloth at Target and said "Oh, that's pretty. I'll turn it into a dress!"
- Registrado
- 9 de Oct, 2016
She is in tarp "dress" territory.
- Registrado
- 17 de Dic, 2019
Jesus Christ, my mortgage isn't even that much...
And remember... FIVE days per week. They probably reason you need two days off (to not starve or to learn the lifestyle change on your own).
Those donuts legit look like something extruded from my dog's ass. And the scale next to her cruddy Lee Press on Nails! they're like vegan Anthropologie Cheerios.
- Registrado
- 3 de Ago, 2017
Not pictured: a jumbo iced coffee with extra syrup, a Big Breakfast from McDonald's, and 2 non-plant based donuts from Krispy Kreme.
- Registrado
- 15 de Ago, 2016
Not to worry, Tess’s clients give her supplemental protein when they meet.
- Registrado
- 7 de Mayo, 2017
So, just to be clear, because I have a moment of "I refuse to believe that!", these are all cakes from this year's birthday?! And not from the last three years?! The thought of all the sugar and buttercream makes me honestly nauseous. How can someone cramming so much cake and other shit into herself without vomitting all over herself?!
I mean, okay she wouldn't have gotten to that size, if that defense mechanism of her body would have kicked in. Kind of like with alcoholics who can consume phenomenal amounts of alcohol, while lesser trained people would have crapped out their kidneys and keeled over.
And some granny eternally stuck in the trashy side of the sixties might miss her curtains. Someone should tell Tess that she has long passed the point of hiding her shape with loud and flowery patterns. Reminds me of the paper napkins craze in the crafting community, where you covered wooden boxes with crazily patterned napkins. Tess certainly looks like a box.
I mean, okay she wouldn't have gotten to that size, if that defense mechanism of her body would have kicked in. Kind of like with alcoholics who can consume phenomenal amounts of alcohol, while lesser trained people would have crapped out their kidneys and keeled over.
And some granny eternally stuck in the trashy side of the sixties might miss her curtains. Someone should tell Tess that she has long passed the point of hiding her shape with loud and flowery patterns. Reminds me of the paper napkins craze in the crafting community, where you covered wooden boxes with crazily patterned napkins. Tess certainly looks like a box.
- Registrado
- 23 de Mar, 2019
Ingredients: Cherries, Maple Syrup, Coconut Oil, Unsweetened Applesauce, Almond Flour, Lemon Juice, Golden Flaxmeal, Filtered Water, Potato Flour, Coconut Yogurt, Wildflower Honey, Arrowroot Powder, Poppy Seeds, Himalayan Sea Salt, Baking Powder, Macqui Berry Powder, Xantham Gum, Vanilla Extract, Baking Soda
YUM YUM!
Edit: Tess' lunch and dinner...
WATERMELON-ROSE SALAD W/ STRAWBERRY CHEVRE
Monty's NYC x Sakara Strawberry "Chevre" + pepita pate spread on seed bread topped with watermelon radish
Ingredients: Watermelon, Mixed Greens, Avocado Oil, Filtered Water, Strawberries, Lime Juice, Montys NYC: Cultured Cashew Rose Wheel, Wildflower Honey, Pumpkin Seeds, Avocado, Watermelon Radish, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, GF Rolled Oats, Brown Rice Flour, Apple Cider Vinegar, Buckwheat Flour, Jalepeno Peppers, Sunflower Seeds, Himalayan Sea Salt, Cilantro, Nutritional Yeast, Shallots, Pea Tendrils, Chia Seeds, Flaxseed, Sliced Almonds, White Sesame Seeds, Arugula, Rosewater, Psyllium Husk Powder, Basil, Maple Syrup, Chlorophyll, Dry Active Yeast, Parsley, Cumin
WILDCRAFTED SALAD W/ BIOACTIVE HONEY VINAIGRETTE
Topped with almond-crusted cannellini cakes, lavender almond "ricotta," and fresh peaches
Ingredients: Cannellini Beans, Mixed Greens, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Peaches, English Cucumbers, Lemon Juice, Pansy, Spinach, Cassava Flour, Slivered Almonds, Filtered Water, Almond Flour, Wildflower Honey, Garlic, Sliced Almonds, Tahini, Himalayan Sea Salt, White Chia Seeds, Bee Pollen, Marri Honey, Purple Sweet Potato Powder, Black Ground Pepper, Cumin, Lavender
Ohhhh no thank you. I'll be fasting tonight. I don't eat food that requires quotation marks.
- Registrado
- 30 de Ene, 2020
sounds like a carb bomb to me
- Registrado
- 23 de Nov, 2018
So this has to be one of those bs collabs with the company or something, like the coldest water bottle. Maybe just a acknowledgement of each other for publicity. maybe the company sent it free for her to publicize but they must have reached out to her rather than the other way around. Tess would NEVER eat this crap in appropriate serving sizes. I expect her to post her superspeshul code to use so everyone ese can buy this overpriced crap, with her getting money or food for each one she shills this stuff to,
She hates this kind of shit and can eat all this crap in the box in one day and be mooing for more.
Funny how she always said her sexlife was great and that she was healthy and was not going to try to lose weight and the next thing you know, she is shilling cockrings, workout gear and plant based meals. Anything for a buck, tessie.
She hates this kind of shit and can eat all this crap in the box in one day and be mooing for more.
Funny how she always said her sexlife was great and that she was healthy and was not going to try to lose weight and the next thing you know, she is shilling cockrings, workout gear and plant based meals. Anything for a buck, tessie.
- Registrado
- 17 de Dic, 2019
Not pictured: Trenta Strawberry Frappucino, eleven Starbucks scones, a family sized box of Cap'n crunch (NO, Bowie! That's MOMMY'S cereal!), and a Diet Coke (gotta watch that girlish figure, Tee Hee!)
Now that she's on a "plant based" diet, Texas A&M should send out a team of DVM students to install a port and include her in their requisite field studies.
- Registrado
- 3 de Ago, 2017
That shit sounds like honey made by bees that came from Krypton or some shit.
- Registrado
- 8 de Nov, 2016
Is it just me or does it look like she's got quite a bit of gray hair showing in her roots?
- Registrado
- 16 de Ago, 2018
I’ll admit that the Sakara salad sounded so good to me that I’ll be making a non-vegan version of it sometime. I’d skip the avocado and make a honey vinaigrette with real lavender infused ricotta and top it with some grilled chicken (to make it more filling). Anyone that pays for this program has more money than sense and it would be cheaper to shop at Whole Foods (if organic hippie food is your thing).
- Registrado
- 23 de Mar, 2019
Fo' REAL. Also this retarded meal service actually has an option where you can buy a manual for the program for $200 and don't have to spend $1300 a month for them to send you food. But of course, you'd actually have to shop and prep and cook and we all know Tess isn't going to do that...