Horrors of Dating Sites

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Went ahead and made the fake female profile. It's been live for about fourteen hours. So far, there have been about fifty likes and messages and about seventy views. Nothing particularly lulzy so far, just a bunch of cheesy pickup lines and desperate people begging for an add on Instragram/kik/snapchat.
 
Went ahead and made the fake female profile. It's been live for about fourteen hours. So far, there have been about fifty likes and messages and about seventy views. Nothing particularly lulzy so far, just a bunch of cheesy pickup lines and desperate people begging for an add on Instragram/kik/snapchat.

No duck pics?

No "pseudo-intellectual" prose in a desperate attempt to get a reply?
 
DarwinDating is the worst, what good is a website if I can't meet curvy red heads with porcelain skin?
Social Darwinism was the worst thing to ever happen to Darwin's name, and it really has nothing to do with his actual ideas on evolution. It's upper class racism at worst and being a dick to people over things they can't control at best.

Also, fun fact. If a bunch of fat ugly balding saggy boobed black women with bad acne and halitosis have a ton of kids, that means they're biologically fit according to Darwin's Origin of Species. Biological fitness is defined as the ability to survive and reproduce.
 
I scrolled through that massive wall of self indulgent tripe and the one thing that really leapt out was that one of her two inspirational people is the goddamn Dog Whisperer

Hell, I only read the first two lines of the first paragraph. Is there a TL;DR version of that shit?!

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Ugh.

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I don't want to have sex with you. Fantasy crushed right?


I don't know what's sad, that, or the ads for dating sites on this particular tumblr.
 
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We've got the first creepy messages. Screencaps to follow when I have more time. (Keep in mind that this profile is a nineteen year-old female that is a freshman in college.)

<---This guy is thirty-two and lives about two-hundred miles away
I will give you all the phones and alcohol you will ever need! Sorry that seemed to be the major theme of your profile. You are really cute and I'm a successful, good looking guy... we could have fun together!



You wanna hook up in the back of my parents minivan?

<---This gut is twenty-five and lives three-hundred miles away.
I'd recommend taking that degree and stripping for now while ya got it use it but having that degree would be for when your older and stop stripping... Strippers make $100,000 a year or so not many first year jobs do that


Finally, this guy just won't give up. Each of these messages is hours apart, and there was never a response or so much as a glance at his profile.


  • Hey how are you? You're so pretty
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    I'm from Birmingham AL where are you from?
    Sent from the OkCupid app Yesterday
    Block them Report

  • Can I add you on snapchat?
    Sent from the OkCupid app Yesterday

  • I need a girl to take out on dates and have a good time with. Are you free?
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    Sent from the OkCupid app Yesterday

  • Hey
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    wyd
    Sent from the OkCupid app Yesterday

  • Harry Potter movies are the best
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    Sent from the OkCupid app 2:33pm
 
It means that you dress like RiFF RaFF but instead of making rap and obsessing over vercase you just slow down 90s songs and put dolphin stickers on everything.
Somehow it's different than vaporwave.

Um, hello, Sea Punk is less a music genre and more just pure aesthetic, though it gave us vaporwave music and aesthetic. Vaporwave has less dolphins and is Tumblr's favorite ironic music.

Gawd, it's like you don't know anything.
 
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