What is Your favorite Chris quote? - Post your favorite Chris quote here

His entire “Jerry Seinfeld Impression” where he does not change his voice at all and merely describes a situation in which he meets Jerry Seinfeld is gold, but the best part is “I met this uh, this uh autistic teenage boy”.
 
Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' baabychild! Made his lil' peeps n' poops! And he went, and he went weewee all over the bathroom*yawn*
 
"I recycle my own semen because, yes, I do masturbate...I recycle it. So that that way I won't lose any, uh, unborn children. So then I can, then I can also still have a good number of... a good semen count."
 
His entire “Jerry Seinfeld Impression” where he does not change his voice at all and merely describes a situation in which he meets Jerry Seinfeld is gold, but the best part is “I met this uh, this uh autistic teenage boy”.
The best part is that he was referring to himself, and was around 27 at the time...
 
Any and all of his apology letters. His weird faux-formal tryhard style is just captivating. Here’re some of my favorites:

Fashion Square Mall ban:
Dearest Scott, Sir or Madame,

It has been long over Two Years since I was banned from the Mall for loud, outbursting miscondut[sic]/misbehavior, instigated from being repeatedly telephoned by Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, and the stress from said bullies, Life, and Loneliness.

Wal-Mart
And I am in an emotionally mutual true and honest relationship with a lovely woman; It is very serious, and we deeply Love (NOT to be confused with the act of intercourse) and Care for each other with honesty and compassion

PVCC
I wish to be able to have the liberty once again, to attend on-campus events, and to attend classes, and for my family, present and future, to be able to attend on-campus events and classes as well.

And, simply put, I[sic] really is Miserable to be BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, PERIOD.
 
His weird faux-formal tryhard style is just captivating.
I still can't get why he writes so awkwardly, despite having never left the USA in almost 40 years, and despite seeing how normal people write online and in vidya dialog. Maybe he's trying to sound smart, just like those hipster types who always try to sound academic when they talk about stuff like pop culture?
 
I still can't get why he writes so awkwardly, despite having never left the USA in almost 40 years, and despite seeing how normal people write online and in vidya dialog. Maybe he's trying to sound smart, just like those hipster types who always try to sound academic when they talk about stuff like pop culture?
He’s really trying to be formal and to get his message across, but he doesn’t know how to keep it simple. I don’t think he ever got a good handle on orthography either, so he’s just doing whatever the fuck he thinks will get his point across (e.g. capitalizing “important” nouns)
 
He’s really trying to be formal
Chris does that for emphasis (as in volume -- all caps is yelling), and I think he got it from typical superhero -- or Sonic -- comic books where they bold certain text for emphasis.

Also Chris is trying to be wordy and formal all the time.
 
In Sonichu (if that counts) - "you don't have to tell me twice! But in the stone age..." like I've literally never understood that and I don't know if I ever will.

But from OPL himself, it'd have to be: "Electric hedgehog power! Pew!... This would be me in my super mode... If I actually had the super powers. But I don't in real life."
 
In Sonichu (if that counts) - "you don't have to tell me twice! But in the stone age..." like I've literally never understood that and I don't know if I ever will.
The "joke" is that cavemen were supposedly so stupid you had to tell them something twice to get it across. Chris gets it, and with that autistic lack of theory of mind, he thinks we do too.
 
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