DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[millais]

He declawed his cat? Bastard.

He claims that the cat's previous owner declawed it, which is most likely the truth because otherwise he would be constantly bitching about having to shell out money for the operation. However, it's undeniable that he initially selected the declawed cat thinking it would be less harmful to his material possessions. Of course, now the cat is chewing on his wires and shit, so that didn't work out too well.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

I think "competent" is too strong of a word. Decent, maybe, at best.

Once upon a time when he was a swarthy chubby pollock pig one could say that nowadays he's a seal clubber capitalizing on a new games large inexperienced player pool to pad his stats and can talk tough about people who have more games played than him in the short span of release (example calling Counterhitter a real professional MK/Injustice player a basement dwelling loser all the while he has a job, wife, child and a home paid for and does the professional fighting thing in his spare time).

 

[actually]

I was just about to post about these street fighter streams....it’s honestly so pathetic. I almost feel bad for shitting on him because he’s ultimately just trying to play one of the few games he’s actually competent at...but he’s just such an asshole about it. I’ve never seen someone be such a massive douche about a game because they are good at it, he clearly boots this shit up for the sole purpose of stroking his ego.

The ego-stroking is confirmed by his complete and total avoidance of Fightcade. He knows that all the good players are on there, preventing him from steamrolling newbies with corner traps and basic rushdown. And given that the netcode is significantly better (from my understanding), he wouldn't be able to blame either mashing or lag.

In short, he wants to relive his glory days, but he knows he doesn't actually have the ability he once had, as evidenced by losing frequently to EvilAJ and the other very rare good players on his garbage ass Switch version. EvilAJ hasn't gotten on the last few weeks, and those were coincidentally "good" streams. Soon as he showed up tonight, Phil peaced out like a total bitch.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

The other interesting thing I've noticed about him playing fighting games is that since he doesn't do tutorials ever, he's always absolutely floored whenever a fighting game doesn't play EXACTLY like Street Fighter 2. He just cannot understand them at all. It's generous to say he understands the mechanics of SFII, but he definitely doesn't understand fighting games that aren't SF2.

Someone asked him to describe what goes into playing fighting games tonight and dark said things like muscle memory and the like, but when he got to strategy he had to add “well the older games did not the newer ones”(not a perfect quote, but basically what he said)

Like this dude is so fucking full of himself he can’t even comprehend the skill and strategy that goes into modern fighters because the genre isn’t exactly like it was when he took fighting games seriously. Like it’s fucking incredible how delusional this dude truly is, the world isn’t black and white though...but no modern fighting game has strategy...

Edit: This fucking Pig even went on to say modern fighting games suck, and aren’t about learning match ups...how can this dude be so aggressively stupid? Ask anyone competitive player and they will tell you March ups for characters they play....every time this dude opens his noise hole about modern fighters it makes me so angry because he’s genuinely just ignoring the time and effort people still put into the genre. Just because he learns two basic combos and scrubs his way through online for a week he thinks people don’t learn shit like matchups....like god damn what a just miserable, spiteful person.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

But waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt

Let's not forget he is THE BEST AMERICAN STREET FIGHTER PLAYER of 2005 and Evo top 4 dooooood

If you beat him in this game like Evil AJ did tonight, then you are one of these:

1. Having Shitty Connection
2. Turn the lag switch on
3. Played the game in the wrong speed doooood
4. Mashing AHNLINE KAHMBOWs
5. Stream Sniping and Counter pick characters


If you are not any of these, then you are simply a MAHRAHN

But never, never that Phil's loss is a result of his own lack of skill or horrendous oldman reflex on this REACTIONARY GAME

No, you dont question the KING （of scrub)

 

[BrunoMattei]

Once upon a time when he was a swarthy chubby pollock pig one could say that nowadays he's a seal clubber capitalizing on a new games large inexperienced player pool to pad his stats and can talk tough about people who have more games played than him in the short span of release (example calling Counterhitter a real professional MK/Injustice player a basement dwelling loser all the while he has a job, wife, child and a home paid for and does the professional fighting thing in his spare time).

Back in the day he was good. But I think either dementia or his alcoholism destroyed his knowledge of fundamentals.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

He declawed his cat? Bastard.

He said he got it declawed.
But, it's such a weird thing to tell people - because it's universally known to be one thing you just don't do to cats anymore because it causes all sorts of behavioral issues AND if they get outside they are basically a eunuch and not long for this world.
He went as far as to say "The people that had him before declawed him then brought the cat to the shelter" which, how the fuck would he know that? The shelter wouldn't know that unless the cat was originally from that shelter in the first place. So we're kind of divided on Dave had the cat declawed OR Dave called all the shelters specifically looking for a declawed cat.

 

[scobra666]

A calendar is such an ironic gift for Phil. Why does he need to know what day it is apart from when he needs to take several hours to wheel out and wheel in the garbage? Every day and week and month and year is exactly the same for him. It'd be like getting a day planner for a prisoner.

you really think he takes the trash out i highly doubt it especially during his busy 16 hour work days that he busts his ass during

 

[shekelshoah666]

Someone asked him to describe what goes into playing fighting games tonight and dark said things like muscle memory and the like, but when he got to strategy he had to add “well the older games did not the newer ones”(not a perfect quote, but basically what he said)

Like this dude is so fucking full of himself he can’t even comprehend the skill and strategy that goes into modern fighters because the genre isn’t exactly like it was when he took fighting games seriously. Like it’s fucking incredible how delusional this dude truly is, the world isn’t black and white though...but no modern fighting game has strategy...

Edit: This fucking Pig even went on to say modern fighting games suck, and aren’t about learning match ups...how can this dude be so aggressively stupid? Ask anyone competitive player and they will tell you March ups for characters they play....every time this dude opens his noise hole about modern fighters it makes me so angry because he’s genuinely just ignoring the time and effort people still put into the genre. Just because he learns two basic combos and scrubs his way through online for a week he thinks people don’t learn shit like matchups....like god damn what a just miserable, spiteful person.

It was pretty cringe to hear honestly. Fighting games are more focused on matchups and knowledge of the other player more then ever nowadays but he just refuses to believe they are anything close to the SF2 days. SF2 has multiple different 9-1/8-2 matchups in it's different versions (that means the character with 1-2 is basically going to lose) and the one version he was good at has the most jacked matchups in his favor of course. It's considered pretty fucking unbalanced for a reason. DSP thinks new fighting games are just learn 1 combo and if you don't win it's due to lag and/or the game is shit.

I mean I get it SF5 sucks and he doesn't like it and neither do I but that's not the only modern fighting game. You have tons of people playing the newer games online and most of the old games are active on fightcade (which he won't play because he would lose 90% of the time even at his best game) and we have tons of fighting games coming that he is going to ignore just to play some bullshit games no one wants to see or replay some stuff he played 10+ years ago.

People tuned in when he used to play fighting games on his day stream and he milked money easily enough from it and people will throw him money to play him/tell him who to play but nope he can't handle winning at a ~50% clip it bruises his ego too much. Hell he won't even play smash and people still ask for it every time he plays SF.

Another point from the stream, people asked him to play Jump King and he was like "no idea what that is, wait people asked for it before, oh it will make me rage? you guys just want to see me rage!" while he was raging at SF3/Alpha and then rage quit it. I'm firmly in the camp that he doesn't want to grow as a stream and just wants to milk the small amount of whales that keep replacing who he ends up banning because he doesn't want to draw any actual attention to himself for the shit he says, does or has done.

 

[Sparkletor]

I honestly don’t think dark has ever had a sex drive. He literally talks like an elementary school kid who doesn’t like girls yet, but somewhat understands that boys are supposed to like girls

Sex and love lore according to Phil:

Phil developed way earlier than his classmates and had a crush on his hot Catholic nun teacher. He was so enamored with her that he gave her a $50 bottle of perfume. I wonder if giving women items of a high monetary value will be a pattern?

Phil didn't date in high school, he was too busy studying to become the valedictorian. However at some point he fell for a girl so hard that he stalked her. Things didn't go his way and he was "going to do something bad" and was put on a "cocktail of medications". I can only think of two scenarios. A) he had feelings for this girl and was too beta to talk to her, or B) he asked her out and got rejected. I'm leaning towards B.

In a later unrelated story about Christmas Phil said he didn't follow his family's drama because he was too busy with girls. Which one is true? A) Phil had no time for girls because he was too busy with school, or B) he had no time for family because he was too busy with girls? I'm going to pick A.

Then there is the hot Latina story. At an 8th grade dance, a hot Latina girl came up to Phil and was grinding all up on his junk. Call me skeptical, but I find it hard to believe a Catholic school function for 14 year olds and chaperoned by nuns would allow students to basically get a lap dance in the gymnasium. Phil, being self-unaware as usual, still thinks she liked him. In reality it sounds like this girl's friends dared her to go dance with the nerdy fat kid.

Phil has told us of the wild parties at his friend Mark's house. He talks about Mark and Liam's girlfriends but never mentions any interaction with girls in any of these stories.

When Phil went to college he spent one semester (approximately 15 weeks) living in a dorm. He tells the story of a wild party where he had two chicks passed out in his bed. It's possible Phil lost his virginity in college, maybe a one night stand with a drunk chick. He's never talked about it and he certainly did not have a steady girlfriend during this time.

He moved back in with his parents. I very highly doubt he was bringing any girls home to his tiny bedroom.

Fellow kiwi Synth was a former competitive gamer from Connecticut who knew Phil in real life. He has said he has been to both Phil's parents house and Phil's condo multiple times and multiple tournaments where Phil was present. I asked if Phil ever had a girl with him. The answer was no, and also Synth said it was very common for competitors to bring their girlfriends to tournaments and FGC parties. Phil was always alone. Keep in mind at this time Phil was claiming to be engaged to a hot blonde chick with huge tits. There is no evidence this person ever existed.

Phil worked at Wells Fargo. He had a crush on one of the female tellers who worked there. She however liked the supervisor. The girl and the supervisor started to date. Phil went to the branch manager and complained that it was unprofessional for the supervisor to date a subordinate. This relationship was not against company policy and just made Phil look jealous. Needless to say, trying to get his supervisor fired over a girl wasn't a smart move for his career.

The Connecticut condo was purchased from the boyfriend of a girl Phil carpooled to work with. Phil had a crush on this girl and thought if he flexed by dropping $130,000 on a condo like it was nothing, that would impress her. (Hmm, there's that spending money to impress a female again) Unfortunately this plan backfired because by selling the condo her boyfriend became $130,000 richer. She also stopped giving Phil rides to work and stopped talking to him.

Eventually Phil started sending YouTube private messages to a 100% totally legal 18 year old girl. Phil was a robust 32 years old. He impressed Leanna by buying her stuff since that's how he rolls. This is the first confirmed girl Phil has ever been with. Phil claims he dated girls before Leanna but he can not give a name to any of his dates or any details of anything that ever happened. There are no photos. Nobody close to Phil has ever seen these girls. There are no funny or sad stories about them. It's almost like these previous girlfriends didn't exist.

For some reason Leanna's family didn't want her to date a 32 year old unemployed alcoholic, so he whisked her away to Washington. According to Leanna, Phil had little to no sex drive. The classic quote, "Better than Sex Cake? Better than the sex I'm not getting..." Phil also says that the reason he was masturbating that fateful day the camera was on the whole time was because they didn't have sex. They allegedly kept up a sexless relationship for years until Leanna left.

Now there is Kat. He also used money and gifts to get Kat's attention. Not much is known compared to Leanna. Kat is only the second woman ever confirmed to have dated Phil.

We can see her body language in the few videos of Phil and her together. She pulls away slightly when Phil puts his arm around her. She seems to briefly forget his name. She is very hesitant to kiss Phil, and when she does, it's a quick peck on the cheek. Phil said before that Kat likes to sleep downstairs on the couch. He calls the spare bedroom, "Kat's Room". Do they have an active sex life? Who knows?

 

[JamFlowMan]

I honestly don’t think dark has ever had a sex drive. He literally talks like an elementary school kid who doesn’t like girls yet, but somewhat understands that boys are supposed to like girls

Current day Phil i'd agree. While an unpopular opinion it's really hard to believe he and Leanna didn't have sex. Before Leanna Phil was so desperate for pussy he bought a condo. Not long after he shacks up with a horny 18 year old he clearly had chemistry with and nothing happened for 5-6 years? Just don't buy it. Phil's loser resume is long enough there isn't a need to add virgin to the list. Now Kat is another story...

 

[This comment matters]

Current day Phil i'd agree. While an unpopular opinion it's really hard to believe he and Leanna didn't have sex. Before Leanna Phil was so desperate for pussy he bought a condo. Not long after he shacks up with a horny 18 year old he clearly had chemistry with and nothing happened for 5-6 years? Just don't buy it. Phil's loser resume is long enough there isn't a need to add virgin to the list. Now Kat is another story...

But there is a lot of area between full blown virgin and sex daily. I think they were way closer to the no sex end of the spectrum, hence Leanna's comments.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Sex and love lore according to Phil:

Phil developed way earlier than his classmates and had a crush on his hot Catholic nun teacher. He was so enamored with her that he gave her a $50 bottle of perfume. I wonder if giving women items of a high monetary value will be a pattern?

Phil didn't date in high school, he was too busy studying to become the valedictorian. However at some point he fell for a girl so hard that he stalked her. Things didn't go his way and he was "going to do something bad" and was put on a "cocktail of medications". I can only think of two scenarios. A) he had feelings for this girl and was too beta to talk to her, or B) he asked her out and got rejected. I'm leaning towards B.

In a later unrelated story about Christmas Phil said he didn't follow his family's drama because he was too busy with girls. Which one is true? A) Phil had no time for girls because he was too busy with school, or B) he had no time for family because he was too busy with girls? I'm going to pick A.

Then there is the hot Latina story. At an 8th grade dance, a hot Latina girl came up to Phil and was grinding all up on his junk. Call me skeptical, but I find it hard to believe a Catholic school function for 14 year olds and chaperoned by nuns would allow students to basically get a lap dance in the gymnasium. Phil, being self-unaware as usual, still thinks she liked him. In reality it sounds like this girl's friends dared her to go dance with the nerdy fat kid.

Phil has told us of the wild parties at his friend Mark's house. He talks about Mark and Liam's girlfriends but never mentions any interaction with girls in any of these stories.

When Phil went to college he spent one semester (approximately 15 weeks) living in a dorm. He tells the story of a wild party where he had two chicks passed out in his bed. It's possible Phil lost his virginity in college, maybe a one night stand with a drunk chick. He's never talked about it and he certainly did not have a steady girlfriend during this time.

He moved back in with his parents. I very highly doubt he was bringing any girls home to his tiny bedroom.

Fellow kiwi Synth was a former competitive gamer from Connecticut who knew Phil in real life. He has said he has been to both Phil's parents house and Phil's condo multiple times and multiple tournaments where Phil was present. I asked if Phil ever had a girl with him. The answer was no, and also Synth said it was very common for competitors to bring their girlfriends to tournaments and FGC parties. Phil was always alone. Keep in mind at this time Phil was claiming to be engaged to a hot blonde chick with huge tits. There is no evidence this person ever existed.

Phil worked at Wells Fargo. He had a crush on one of the female tellers who worked there. She however liked the supervisor. The girl and the supervisor started to date. Phil went to the branch manager and complained that it was unprofessional for the supervisor to date a subordinate. This relationship was not against company policy and just made Phil look jealous. Needless to say, trying to get his supervisor fired over a girl wasn't a smart move for his career.

The Connecticut condo was purchased from the boyfriend of a girl Phil carpooled to work with. Phil had a crush on this girl and thought if he flexed by dropping $130,000 on a condo like it was nothing, that would impress her. (Hmm, there's that spending money to impress a female again) Unfortunately this plan backfired because by selling the condo her boyfriend became $130,000 richer. She also stopped giving Phil rides to work and stopped talking to him.

Eventually Phil started sending YouTube private messages to a 100% totally legal 18 year old girl. Phil was a robust 32 years old. He impressed Leanna by buying her stuff since that's how he rolls. This is the first confirmed girl Phil has ever been with. Phil claims he dated girls before Leanna but he can not give a name to any of his dates or any details of anything that ever happened. There are no photos. Nobody close to Phil has ever seen these girls. There are no funny or sad stories about them. It's almost like these previous girlfriends didn't exist.

For some reason Leanna's family didn't want her to date a 32 year old unemployed alcoholic, so he whisked her away to Washington. According to Leanna, Phil had little to no sex drive. The classic quote, "Better than Sex Cake? Better than the sex I'm not getting..." Phil also says that the reason he was masturbating that fateful day the camera was on the whole time was because they didn't have sex. They allegedly kept up a sexless relationship for years until Leanna left.

Now there is Kat. He also used money and gifts to get Kat's attention. Not much is known compared to Leanna. Kat is only the second woman ever confirmed to have dated Phil.

We can see her body language in the few videos of Phil and her together. She pulls away slightly when Phil puts his arm around her. She seems to briefly forget his name. She is very hesitant to kiss Phil, and when she does, it's a quick peck on the cheek. Phil said before that Kat likes to sleep downstairs on the couch. He calls the spare bedroom, "Kat's Room". Do they have an active sex life? Who knows?

Like I said, he doesn’t have a sex drive. From what we can actually tell dark has always been a loner/loser. He probably spent his high school and early college years failing to pick up girls because he’s always been a shitty person and not in the way some women find appealing, and as he got older his own laziness and failings at wooing women killed whatever drive he may have had. He very much acts like someone who has no experience, it’s clear he cares more about having a woman around to brag about and feed him than actually engaging with them physically.

The early year stuff is a little bit of assuming on my part, but I have no doubt he doesn’t fuck kat or Leanna when they were together. The guy doesn’t fucking want to do anything that involves any sort of effort, he makes taking a shower sound like some exhausting ordeal. The dude simply doesn’t want to do anything that doesn’t involve sitting on his couch watching television, point blank. I can’t see the guy ever turning off his stream and going through the effort of being with his wife physically.

At best, I’m willing to bet he has no stamina and is a classic example of a one pump chump. But even that seems like more effort than this dude wants to put into anything. It’s really sad dark seems so pathetically lazy I can’t actually imagine him banging his wife because it would require some form of effort.

 

[Dolphins Rise Up]

A second before ragequitting, he saw a special someone join the lobbies for the first time.

Coincidence he ragequit a second (and 20 minutes early) seeing evilaj? Doubt it.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Current day Phil i'd agree. While an unpopular opinion it's really hard to believe he and Leanna didn't have sex. Before Leanna Phil was so desperate for pussy he bought a condo. Not long after he shacks up with a horny 18 year old he clearly had chemistry with and nothing happened for 5-6 years? Just don't buy it. Phil's loser resume is long enough there isn't a need to add virgin to the list. Now Kat is another story...

Okay I was definitely being a little hyperbolic lol. I’m sure he’s had sex with Leanna and probably kat, I was more trying to say that I don’t think he every actively wanted to and it was more them desperately pleading with this lazy man in their life to satisfy them physically.

And as for the condo thing...the problem is you’re applying the logic of a normal person to DSP. This dude operates on a different spectrum, it’s very plausible he just wanted a woman to fill the services in his life his mommy was currently providing. I don’t believe there’s ever been a point in his adult life he wasn’t pursing women expressly to show them off as trophies and do his laundry/cook his meals.

The only monkey wrench in this is we know he jerks it, or at least did it once while he was living with a woman that made it pretty clear he wasn’t putting out of a frequent basis. The only logical explanation I can come up with is he decided it was easier to give himself a couple of pumps instead of bringing a 2nd person into the equation and potentially causing him more work.

The dude seems inept when it comes to understanding people on an emotional level, he gave awkward giggles when Leanna would make little jokes about their sex life, probably because he was unable to grasp the concept of another person not having their physical needs satisfied.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

If I'm bailing my adult kid out of an unpaid mortgage or his tax issues (or any other reason I might be cutting him a check for four figures) I'm looking into why the fuck he needs it. Mainly because I want to be sure he's not ten large in the hole to some loan shark that's gonna shake him down for more once he realizes he's paying out or shank him when he doesn't come up with the rest of the money, but I don't think that's a generational thing, that's a Good Parenting thing.

The thing is, this is what his paypigs should be asking about, and it's mind-blowing to me that they have no apparent interest in wondering where their thousands of dollars a month are going. The "taxes" excuse is so transparent it's a joke (unless he is *very* behind on back taxes, which could be substantial given his estimated six figure incomes), the absolute non-admission of the foreclosure... the bahtahm line is there's no way to know *what* he's doing with his money, despite how fucking much he talks about it, and no one should give him a cent until he's proven he won't just continue his unsustainable financial and spending habits.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

30+ year old ugly loser Phil not wanting to split 20 year old Leanna's tight body in half every possible second rises a million I'm gay, I'm gay, totally gay red flags. It's possible Phil is a virgin since he's not sexually healthy.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

30+ year old ugly loser Phil not wanting to split 20 year old Leanna's tight body in half every possible second rises a million I'm gay, I'm gay, totally gay red flags. It's possible Phil is a virgin since he's not sexually healthy.

tbf even Chris has gotten laid.

And much like Chris, Phil also has some weird ideas about having to demonstrate gender roles in ways that reveal troubling things about them.

 

[MoonRocker]

Phil is definitely not a virgin (he had Panda nudes meaning he definitely did some sexual stuff) but he doesn’t have a healthy sex life. He’s too miserable for that.

I don’t believe he’s had sex with more than three women tops making him very sexually inexperienced, insecure, and conservative in that department.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

DSP Research Institute - Researching Phil Burnell

Who is DSP? Why is he toxic? We are here to research and analyze this strange internet personality known as Darksydephil.

dsp.institute

Damn why am I just learning about this site, being able to see messages that got people banned is great lmao

So the largest amount of bans in one day happened on the cat reveal stream...yet he told quartering in their interview how much everyone loved the reveal and how positive it was....most moderated day was also the most positive!