For those not familiar with the lore. These are the truths our Lord and savior Philip Burnel has laid upon us.
Phil is unable to sell the condo because it is in an area that no company will touch. No company is willing to try to sell a condo in his community.
There are zero companies in the Connecticut area that will rent out his condo. Zero. Not one. And the ones that will only use the telephone for communication like cavemen. Please email at
darksydephil@hotmail.com like a normal human.
Phil's parents can't rent out the place for him because they are too old. They are like 60. (Fun fact: Donald Trump is 73)
Phil's parents can't rent out the condo because if something breaks, Phil's dad can't fix it. If something needs painting it's fine to pay hundreds of dollars to fly dad out to do it though, since Phil was never taught how to use a paint roller.
Phil's parents can't rent out the condo because it is too far away. Please ignore the fact that the condo is closer than Phil's dad's daily commute to his job.
If Phil rented out his house, drug addicts would move in and wreck it up. I guess that is a possibility. Maybe that is why rentors do a background check before handing the keys over.
Yes, Phil's parents have the keys.
Phil can't rent it because he would only get X amount a month. Well that would be $1500 - X that he would have to pay. Unacceptable.
If something broke, like plumbing. Phil would be responsible and could not fix it. Telling them to call a plumber or whatever would not be acceptable because they could lie. Plus he doesn't have the money to do it. He could possibily have the money if he was collecting rent on his property.
