How do you deal with loss?

Sexy Times Hitler dijo:
I don't know what to tell you, everyone grieves differently. Self-processing may not work for you the same way that it does for me, but it doesn't make it any less valid for me. You surround yourself with friends, while mine respect the fact that I need some space for processing before I can accept what happened and be back in action, different strokes.
Presiona para expandir...

You are right.
Everybody goes through different processes when dealing with grief. But i still think, no matter what, it helps be with your friends and family and feel a supporting shoulder near your
 
BananaBlue dijo:
That's related to what situation you are in and what is causing you grief. I have no one to blame. If anything, I can only blame my shortcomings and not being the the man I should have been and to have the person I lost, see me and be proud of me.
Presiona para expandir...

fuck it, convert to christianity, islam or any other religion and blame god
 
The biggest part of dealing with loss is time. It takes time to heal and feel normal again. Accept the fact that you're going to have a hard time for a while. Instead of just cutting people off, let them know that your way of dealing with things is to be by yourself for a while (watching movies, playing video games or whatever you need to do) and that if you don't get back to them for a while it's not personal, it's just what you need right now. Or if you need your best friend to come over and camp out with you for a few days, watch movies and play video games with you while not talking about your grief, then do that. Don't do anything you're not ready to do (social events or whatever.) Just know that you will smile and have bright days again, no matter how dark things are now.
 
Let it out now or it'll bust out of there on its own, and don't bullshit yourself into thinking you're "coping" with it, you just get over it with time.

Treat yourself to something buddy.


Tetraphobia dijo:
same, gotta blame someone, else it's all my fault... fuck that.
Presiona para expandir...
God that was a shit game.
 
Sadness is not an invalid feeling OP. Rationalizing it can remove the importance and make it last longer.

Talk to people OP like your doing here really helps too. Smoking heaps of weed can make the sadness deeper but that's just my opinion.

Lastly crying literally is also an option to relieve the pressure. Sadness is also a measure of how much the loss hurts and how much you care which also honors the memory of what was lost.
 
Writing helps. I can put down my thoughts, freewrite and let my subconscious speak, use those strong feelings to channel into a work of fiction ect... Just keep myself occupied and working.

Taking some time to enjoy a hobby helps as well. Put on some of your favorite music, or a movie/tv show you find comforting as background noise and focus for a few hours on that thing you take joy in. It'll be difficult starting, especially if you're feeling very depressed, but make a habit of forcing yourself to, if only to keep going.

If things are very upsetting and bad, let yourself cry. There's absolutely no shame in doing so if it's warranted, and dealing with loss or grief is something that devastates even the most outwardly tough and put together of us.

Let yourself cry and express how you're feeling to a friend or family member. Sometimes just vocalizing it can be the catalyst you need to start moving forward.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry you've gone through something tragic recently. I know how difficult it can feel to start getting past it, believe me. If you need someone to talk with, I and I'm sure quite a few others here would be more than willing to listen.
 
Yolandi dijo:
The biggest part of dealing with loss is time. It takes time to heal and feel normal again. Accept the fact that you're going to have a hard time for a while. Instead of just cutting people off, let them know that your way of dealing with things is to be by yourself for a while (watching movies, playing video games or whatever you need to do) and that if you don't get back to them for a while it's not personal, it's just what you need right now. Or if you need your best friend to come over and camp out with you for a few days, watch movies and play video games with you while not talking about your grief, then do that. Don't do anything you're not ready to do (social events or whatever.) Just know that you will smile and have bright days again, no matter how dark things are now.
Presiona para expandir...

I'm trying to do that and it's what I'm doing. I was really humble with the amount of support i got and still get and i even started to hang out with people i didn't have that much of a connection to begin with.
It helps, helps a lot and I want to believe i and my family will go through.
People die all the time, everybody went or will go through loss and most manage to live through it all.
I want to believe the same will go for me, but man, it hurts, it is still hurting, people say it will be less painful but it is going to take a while for that to happen.
 
Whatdidyousay? dijo:
Lastly crying literally is also an option to relieve the pressure. Sadness is also a measure of how much the loss hurts and how much you care which also honors the memory of what was lost.
Presiona para expandir...

I know, and it's what I'm still doing. But every time that happens, it feels like i'm not letting things go.
 
While this is pessimistic, I feel it is apt.
811299
 
With regards to loss, I have found anger to be a waste of my energy. Sadness however, has been productive. I take really long walks outside, and wake up really early. I really want to take time to process my emotions, and I do it very slowly, sometimes it takes days to weeks. With some kinds of loss, it can take years. For example, one of my best friends died of suicide almost 3 years ago, and it feels like time has stood still for part of me since then. I often express really complex emotions in writing, and in my painting and in doing that, I orient myself to my new emotional self, changed by whatever it was that happened to me. In doing this I often discover new things about people, myself, art and the world around me, sometimes of a spiritual nature.
 
Only way you can deal with it is to confront it head-on and come to terms with it. It won't be fun.
 
Never be afraid to remember the good time just because it hurts. That pain dulls with time. Some part of the person is with you forever because you remember them. Sometimes the stupidest things will make you cry, and that's ok.

Everyone goes through grieving different. When my father passed I spent 3 months just watching his favorite movies everyday. It was something good to help fight off the bad. Sometimes doing something you both loved can help. It still hurts a little after all these years, but it's not as bad now. Even talking about it like you are now can be helpful. It's helpful to hear how others mourn loss. It can give you other ways to process it, and it helps to know that you're not alone in feeling this way.
 
queerape dijo:
With regards to loss, I have found anger to be a waste of my energy. Sadness however, has been productive. I take really long walks outside, and wake up really early. I really want to take time to process my emotions, and I do it very slowly, sometimes it takes days to weeks. With some kinds of loss, it can take years. For example, one of my best friends died of suicide almost 3 years ago, and it feels like time has stood still for part of me since then. I often express really complex emotions in writing, and in my painting and in doing that, I orient myself to my new emotional self, changed by whatever it was that happened to me. In doing this I often discover new things about people, myself, art and the world around me, sometimes of a spiritual nature.
Presiona para expandir...

I'm sorry for your loss.
I don't feel anger, maybe for myself, but no hate for anyone. I'm not religious either so I don't take this as the action of some greater entity. I just feel grief, emptiness, regret of not treasuring people around me more, when they are still around.
 
Nekromantik2 dijo:
Never be afraid to remember the good time just because it hurts. That pain dulls with time. Some part of the person is with you forever because you remember them. Sometimes the stupidest things will make you cry, and that's ok.

Everyone goes through grieving different. When my father passed I spent 3 months just watching his favorite movies everyday. It was something good to help fight off the bad. Sometimes doing something you both loved can help. It still hurts a little after all these years, but it's not as bad now. Even talking about it like you are now can be helpful. It's helpful to hear how others mourn loss. It can give you other ways to process it, and it helps to know that you're not alone in feeling this way.
Presiona para expandir...

That's what I'm avoiding for the reasons you mention. I don't want to see any pictures of her, remember anything of her. It will only make me think of her, how I don't have her with me anymore and that fucks me up to much. I can't find the courage to do such thing, not now.
 
BananaBlue dijo:
That's what I'm avoiding for the reasons you mention. I don't want to see any pictures of her, remember anything of her. It will only make me think of her, how I don't have her with me anymore and that fucks me up to much. I can't find the courage to do such thing, not now.
Presiona para expandir...
And that's ok too. There is no wrong way to do this. You're trying to process it, and it's hard.

I wish I could give you a timeline for healing, but I can't, and that sucks. It sucks because all I can say is it takes time, and I'm sure you've heard that a thousand times already. It's the truth, and the sad thing is you can only learn it from experience. And the saddest thing is when you've had enough experience with loss that you process it quickly. And I hate that.

Please try not to regret. I know it's hard, but no good will come from what ifs and could have beens. That will only make you feel worse.
 
Debes iniciar sesión o registrarte para responder aquí.
Atrás
Top Abajo