Miscellanous Chris Communications: New 1/8/2015

[DracoRincewind]

Chris: You might not find that in a lot of men; the lot of them stereotypically notice and stare at the C-Cup size or greater breasts. But I know better; "My eyes are up here!"

Yes Chris, and you sure showed her how you know better on your first meeting.

 

[slep]

"We just received, special delivery, from the realtor people renting the house we're in, a letter of notice: "We need to inspect the house for cleanliness; we want to bring people by to show it to them; we still expect you all to be out by September 31st.""
Any idea what happened with that inspection?

1. I can only imagine the looks on their faces when they came to see the piles of barbage everywhere and rat turds all over their once-gorgeous floors. And I get a feeling that the prospective buyers didn't buy the house after that. Amirite?

2. Be out of the house by September 31st, but didn't get around to it till New Years. I think there's a hidden "Eviction Saga" that hasn't been revealed yet.

 

[Thetan]

Couple tidbits:

Oh Chris...

Oh my god.


Any idea what happened with that inspection?

AFAIK the inspection never happened because the Chandler's had their time extended at the rental due to the delays in the reconstruction of 14 Branchland Court. Now that they're moving out, I'm wondering if an inspection happened (or if one is imminent). It's safe to say we all know how that will turn out, and there's a good chance Chris will share his thoughts on this via Facebook.

 

[Kosher Dill]

That "biological clock" really *is* off-kilter. The messages break down into roughly:

1PM
4:20PM
6:20PM
(Sleep)
11:00 - wake up
11:20PM - resume texting
4:10AM

Also - LOL @ the trash under his bed. Jesus.

EDIT: Wait wait wait. Chris was bragging about his ability to keep his eyes off Catie's rack, right before attempting to motorboat her on their date?

 

[Thetan]

Lol'd at the story of Cheerleader Barb hurting her knee after a being "tackled" by a football player.

Yeah, that one doesn't quite ring right. Also, do cheerleaders typically have batons? I thought that was something different. (I was never into sports in high school: no school spirit here )

 

[Haesindang Park]

Catching his own breath? Is he having respiratory problems? And he only lives off of tea, apple slices, and chicken nuggets only? Something tells me that later in 2015, Chris is going to complain about health problems. But if he is jailed, I'm sure the jail staff would make sure he doesn't die in prison but then Chris would go on a hunger strike and attempt to starve himself to death in jail.

 

[jemas42]

Unless I am reading those timestamps wrong, Chris sent her all that shit in under 24 hours, without a single response from her. And that would normally be enough to get her to stop responding (if she was an actual person and not a troll). Did you cut out her responses or did he really just ramble that much without any encouragement?

I don't believe for a second that's what Bob meant with "UN4EVER"

Oh yeah, definitely. I don't know what it means, but I highly doubt that's the explanation.

 

[Cuck Norris]

Yeah, that one doesn't quite ring right. Also, do cheerleaders typically have batons? I thought that was something different. (I was never into sports in high school: no school spirit here )

Flag Squad or like uhhh Color Squad or some shit they call it iirc.

Edit: Of course, Family Guy did an episode about this so he probably made it up.

2nd Edit: I think it was called Color Guard now that I've thought a bit longer. Much like the Family Guy episode, it was home to the girls too fat or ugly to be cheerleaders but were capable of twirling a baton/flag.

 

[Le Bateleur]

That bit about how "the higher force" is messing with Chris's consciousness is somewhat ominous...

 

[Thetan]

Unless I am reading those timestamps wrong, Chris sent her all that shit in under 24 hours, without a single response from her. And that would normally be enough to get her to stop responding (if she was an actual person and not a troll). Did you cut out her responses or did he really just ramble that much without any encouragement?



Oh yeah, definitely. I don't know what it means, but I highly doubt that's the explanation.

What I sent you is exactly what I was given with the exception of the chat IDs, which I censored.

 

[slep]

AFAIK the inspection never happened because the Chandler's had their time extended at the rental due to the delays in the reconstruction of 14 Branchland Court. Now that they're moving out, I'm wondering if an inspection happened (or if one is imminent). It's safe to say we all know how that will turn out, and there's a good chance Chris will share his thoughts on this via Facebook.

I'm guessing that the insurance company also provided for the deposit, which I'm sure is as good as flushed down the toilet. Just about everyone involved with the Chandlers on this affair has taken a bath over this, literally as well as figuratively.

If that agency hasn't upped their payment rates for their policy by now, I'd be surprised.

 

[Tomboy]

Chris: You might not find that in a lot of men; the lot of them stereotypically notice and stare at the C-Cup size or greater breasts. But I know better; "My eyes are up here!"
Of course you do Chris, of course.

 

[YI 457]

Thetan's social work never ends. Sometimes I just admire how he manages to stay sane...

EDIT:

[8/10/2014 11:24:44 PM] Chris: Ugh! The higher force is messing with my head again. Anyway, another detail about our planned meeting I would like to share. I mentioned my van and it's plate; remember that, so you'll know that I am there already.

Stop blaming everything to autism, Chris. It never works.

 

[blackie toy]

Yes Chris, and you sure showed her how you know better on your first meeting.

Don't forget he motorboated 'em too.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Flag Squad or like uhhh Color Squad or some shit they call it iirc.

Edit: Of course, Family Guy did an episode about this so he probably made it up.

2nd Edit: I think it was called Color Guard now that I've thought a bit longer. Much like the Family Guy episode, it was home to the girls too fat or ugly to be cheerleaders but were capable of twirling a baton/flag.

Yeah that's color guard. More importantly there is no reason for them to be tackled by a player. If I remember correctly they'd do their thing between innings and leave. They were never by the field unless they were performing.

 

[Objection!]

This was one day's worth of messages? Oh GodBearJesus. And I recall someone mentioning that he didn't message Catie back for three weeks after her initial contact.

I see what you mean about him sending so many messages that it overran her plan.

Also love the assurances about how guys that look at a girl's chest while taking to them is just terrible and that his eyes would be on hers. Oh, but we know the truth there. His eyes practically fall out of his head onto boobies when the person attached to them talks to him.

What a big creepy liar he is! Sorry, had a guy with these habits in my past too.

 

[Gensdupays]

The comments about dreaming about being in a McDonald's commercial are incredibly hilarious and sad. At least he learned what "biological clock" actually meant at some point.

 

[registereduser]

I am not sure if Leeves is an English or British name, but she was born there.

Lol.

 

[Male Idiot]

[4:28:23 AM] Chris: Another thing about Barbara Anne, she enjoys shows like "Storage Wars"

This surprises me. You'd think Barb would consider a show about dismantling giant hoards a tragedy.

EDIT: Whoops, confused Storage Wars with Hoarders because I'm autistic. This actually makes perfect sense!

Yeah. She would happily dismantle the hoards of others so she could add them to her own!

 

[Gensdupays]

I have just learned from my mother that she worked volunteer at the library in her High School. It shows how I tend to feel attracted to the bookworm types.

How often has Chris mentioned his Oedipus Complex?