TORRID TRY-ON HAUL!!!!! MARCH 2019 3/5/19 - Bedsheet galore.

The human body is capable of so many things, huh?

Edit: How many feelings of orange chicken does she need to eat to compensate for the amount of calories she's burning by trying on these tents?
 
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That dress though..
 
Big Al's Crusty Sty dijo:
Is there an actual nipple on her 2nd set of tits in the thumbnail??
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it's a pinch mark because she pulls at her clothing in some kinda attempt to make it drape in a way where it might mask her 2nd & 3rd set of tits. Of course that doesn't really work when you're that shape or weight....and doesn't help that you've technically outgrown Torrid sizes but still squeeze into anything with stretch
 
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"I love dinosaurs, but it's not something I flaunt around." Amber actually said this when she pulled that dinosaur shirt out of the bag.. I'm floored!

Her leggings have become low rise.
 
Did she actually just slip up on her lahhs? Now she casually admitted all of her shirts are usually a size 6. But for ages she's been insisting that she fits into a size 4.

Edit spelling
 
The Moon phases (worn by a moon that has four well defined phases) sweater is not even available on the Torrid website anymore. Gorl this is old content.

I bet when she records video she doesn't turn off anything that adds metadata to the video like say the date it was recorded. I assume YouTube's conversion process strips that info out but if a very YouTube savvy Kiwi were to know a way to find the real date a video was recorded I'd be quite interested. If it's easy and repeatable I might even start keeping a spreadsheet of video upload date vs. recording date to keep it spergy.

Edit: Found the moon shirt it just wasn't obviously located on the website. I'm still thinking this is old content since her face looks less swollen.

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b-but...she said she was going to do a 100 day challenge. With daily weigh-ins. And calorie counting. Everything was going to change. Could our gorl possibly have set up a goal she had no intention of following through on?????

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Don't waste your time, I wasted mine for you.
  • Obnoxious beeping of a microwave immediately in the beginning, of course she can't be assed to do another take.
  • Size 6 t-shirt with generic basic bitch "I'm so done" phrases that she got for 4 dollars.
  • Size 5 tank top with an Indian inspired design.
  • Another generic flower print dress (Al is unsure if this is actually a dress or not) except this time with tacky skulls.
  • Size 6 dinosaur print shirt. Al does not flaunt that she loves dinosaurs, but don't worry guys, they're "her ish".
  • She buys another dress, size 5, in the material she hates.
  • Cardigan she bought "heat of the moment". Size 5/6, another flower print.
  • Size 6 shirt she doesn't think will fit her, and in a material she doesn't like. Black with small leaf pattern.
  • Says that she never sends clothes back, either gives them away or prays she will lose the weight.
  • Another shirt, size 6 with a cactus/desert design.
  • Al does not recognize the materials she loves, but discovers that rayon and spandex are among them. It's a dress or a shirt, who knows. Flower pattern.
  • Another shirt with a hood (Al says "comes with a hoodie"). Moons printed on the sleeves.
  • Size 5 dress with flower print.
  • Earrings with hoops, and you guessed it, flowers.
  • Try on time! Spoiler alert, they all look like shit. The moon sleeve shirt, blue tunic, and Indian print shirt look especially terrible. Albert's enormous arms look like they weigh 200 elbees each.
  • Gold leaf shirt doesn't fit because her ass is too big. How one gets so fat that their ass interferes with a shirt, I don't understand.
 
I thought I could speak Amberlynn but apparently not: what the fuck is a 'cooling material'?

Does she mean silky? Or the sportsy wicking fabric?

Edit: Aha! She looked at a label! 95% rayon, 5% spandex. According to some random googled crap: " It’s very stretchy, usually has 4 way stretch (which means it stretches both vertically and horizontally) and the recovery is great (which means it doesn’t stay stretched out.) It’s soft and supple and forms to your curves. Rayon spandex is quite breathable and feels cool to the touch."
 
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Woooooow, the "self-awareness kween"!!!! She got shirts with 1) an elephant, 2) dinosaurs, and 3) the moon. All completely unironically. Just wow. I can't even crack a joke 'cause the fruit (and everything else) is just too low-hanging......

And- funny she calls the clothes a weird shape. Pretty sure the weirdest shape is Big AL herself. Also--so rich she doesn't even bother with returns. So generous she gifts her rejects to the less fortunate...her damn ego is bigger than her hilarious ass. Get on that self-love workbook Big Al...
 
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