OPTAVIA UNBOXING!!! 2/3/19

[ihavent_ee_uhn]

I am amused by the skinny, attractive, active people in the photos. Something tells me they are not representative of who actually buys their stuff. Why no Amberlynns, cowering in their cluttered beds?

I dunno.. how are they gonna sell anything if they see something like this:

instead of this:

(yes I know you're joking )

 

[ADHD]

This hasn't been a slow descent, either. In under two years she went from doing make-up daily, clean and ironed hair, clean clothes, and sometimes even nails got done to what she is now. She's now filthy, seldom bothers with cosmetics, hair a biohazard and visibly thinning, grimy nails. Her clothes are barely holding on, are often stained. During each era, she looks so awful but when compared to earlier eras she's an immaculate beauty queen. How much worse will she look a year from now if she doesn't drop dead first?

IIRC, she had let herself go toward the end of her relationship with Destiny, and only started doing makeup/etc again after she got dumped. She's been with Becky for almost 2 years now. Becky clearly isn't going to leave Amber due to Amber letting herself go; instead, Becky joins her in giving up on giving a shit.

 

[thejackal]

The end when she goes "I spend a lot of money on food, huh huh, doesn't everybody?" is pure nightmare fuel. Jesus. It's like the pillsbury dough boy come to life with a huskier voice.

 

[Guardsman42]

The end when she goes "I spend a lot of money on food, huh huh, doesn't everybody?" is pure nightmare fuel. Jesus. It's like the pillsbury dough boy come to life with a huskier voice.

Except the Pillsbury Doughboy in the Ghostbuster Cartoon wasn't a cunt.

 

[DubbleBubble]

The end when she goes "I spend a lot of money on food, huh huh, doesn't everybody?" is pure nightmare fuel. Jesus. It's like the pillsbury dough boy come to life with a huskier voice.

Aside. I always get the feeling that Amber thinks everyone spends as much money on food as she does. Like when she hits a fast food joint and sees other, normal humans she assumes that they must go out to eat every day for every meal just like her but they have some super secret thin magic that she's just unaware of. Like I don't think she understands what a normal food budget looks like, or how much food a normal human eats.

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

This is great, Amber is barely literate obviously so 84 pages of widely spaced out suggestions will take twice as long to read as it should at least and she'll retain less than 10% of it I bet unless she reads it more than once and lmao, sure she'll be doing this in three days still and remember to refresh herself on the tips before the first all you can eat Chinese buffet trip to make up for lost caloric intake over recent time!

She literally threw aside the Skinnilicious diet menu that Cheesecake Factory gives along with the regular menu. I wish I remembered which video it was, but she goes there so often, it would be hard to narrow it down.

Just like an alcoholic struggling to stay sober wouldn't go to a bar, she needs to stay away from restaurants. Have Becky do the food shopping and stay out of the grocery store too. If she wants to get out of the house, she can walk her dog for once.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Man she payed as much as my rent and bills cost for a box full of the things she let rot in a jar and threw out.
I cannot phantom having to spend 1000$ on just food, in my household we spend half of that amount for two.

On an other note, this program should work because she would be eating less calories if she only ate what is provided, being her size, even without exercise. Because we all know that is the only thing she will not do, not even walking around or lifting weights while sitting. At a point, I can understand why she will not move - I'm almost third of her size, still overweight medically, and my back tends to hurt like hell from this - I can't imagine how much paint she is in when she has to move.

See, now this is where it all falls down. This program specifies that she should do some exercise starting somewhere in the 2-3 weeks in. We all know that shit ain't happening. Firstly, she'll never make it 2-3 weeks in. Secondly, these "feelings" are designed to give energy to be burnt off with physical activity. Gorl can't even sit up without getting winded. She's done before she begins.

 

[Lulu Diamonds]

the guide that came with her feelings is available online:
http://optaviamedia.com/pdf/LEARN/32240-GUI_OPTAVIA-30-Day.pdf

if I'm reading this correctly it looks like she'll be eating under 900 calories a day, which is lower than even Dr. Now's regimen. Also seems like she's already messing up, that "healthy snack" list definitely doesn't account for cheese sticks, the program seems to ban dairy altogether.

Also almond milk is listed under condiments, guess I gotta give a point to Al

 

[manicpixiebasementdweller]

See, now this is where it all falls down. This program specifies that she should do some exercise starting somewhere in the 2-3 weeks in. We all know that shit ain't happening. Firstly, she'll never make it 2-3 weeks in. Secondly, these "feelings" are designed to give energy to be burnt off with physical activity. Gorl can't even sit up without getting winded. She's done before she begins.

IIRC you have to be a certain weight to do weight-bearing cardio exercise and not badly injure yourself. At Big Al’s weight, the amount of stress she’s putting on her knees by just waddling to the fucking fridge is horrific. She won’t exercise because of this. She needs to drop some el-bees before that comes into play.

Meanwhile, there are things she could do that aren’t cardio, that won’t harm her knees. She won’t do those either, but will never give concrete reasons as to why. Hell; lifting her own arms above her head in sets would be exercise for her at this point, leg lifts, etc. Her own body weight is enough for strength exercises.

 

[rawandhonest]

I've been lurking on the forum for a while now as I discovered our gorl about three months ago and have been just fascinated. Its like watching Animal Planet.

But this video is the one that prompted me to make an account and actually post, mainly because I'm so appalled at the choice of Optavia food. Not a single colour in there other than chocolate brown or potato gold/yellow. I don't know if it was just the public health policy where I come from but as a child it was drilled into our heads that the more (natural) colours on your plate, the healthier the foods. How is this diet of chocolate shit and one serving of veggies per day going to give her all the vitamins she needs??

Also it took me a full two minutes to figure out that PANNAY means penne.

 

[Spacenerd2222]

Long time lurker with so many opinions! If she made a video with a bunch of stale crusty old protien bars she never even touched, why on God's green earth would she spend 400+ a month to collect more???! If other more common weight loss plans didnt work this is for sure going to crash and burn

 

[El_Guapo's Sweater]

So based on her instagram, she was supposed to start this Optavia diet on Friday (or based on when her box of "feelings" came in) - this unboxing was posted on Sunday - so do we think she actually started on Friday or even Saturday? Would she have posted her excitement in the unboxing if her diet was already failing in the first day or two? I don't think we will hear another peep about this in another week ...

 

[Spacenerd2222]

So based on her instagram, she was supposed to start this Optavia diet on Friday (or based on when her box of "feelings" came in) - this unboxing was posted on Sunday - so do we think she actually started on Friday or even Saturday? Would she have posted her excitement in the unboxing if her diet was already failing in the first day or two? I don't think we will hear another peep about this in another week ...

She probably ate it all on Friday and taped the boxes up for the "unboxing" video

 

[FitBitch]

as someone born in a Mediterranean country and raised on pasta it took me a full two minutes to figure out that PANNAY means penne.

Welcome to the shitshow, get ready to have to interpret a lot of Big AL's dumb pronunciations.

 

[Masta]

So based on her instagram, she was supposed to start this Optavia diet on Friday (or based on when her box of "feelings" came in) - this unboxing was posted on Sunday - so do we think she actually started on Friday or even Saturday? Would she have posted her excitement in the unboxing if her diet was already failing in the first day or two? I don't think we will hear another peep about this in another week ...

Do not worry, she has become much more lazy with uploading since summer, from posting everyday to posting twice a week.
Even when she does fail, she will definitely let us know, just much later than usual.

 

[Very Honest Content]

She literally threw aside the Skinnilicious diet menu that Cheesecake Factory gives along with the regular menu...Just like an alcoholic struggling to stay sober wouldn't go to a bar, she needs to stay away from restaurants. Have Becky do the food shopping and stay out of the grocery store too. If she wants to get out of the house, she can walk her dog for once.

The only, and I'm admittedly reaching here but we're already deep in the 'yeah right' level of speculation on this, so spare me the rainbows, saving grace she might discover is that when people invest money they made into anything, be it hobby, business, lifestyle, or whatever related, that is in their interest they tend to invest more into their education about the topic as well. In effect, they move from a layman's intimacy with the topic to absorbing as much as they are capable about it, which can change behavior due to the new mental context/concepts. The question is, did this cost enough money to force the mental switch in Amber's mind from being a fat lazy slug about general health and dietary portion size to becoming invested in mastering the simple concepts being re-presented to her from yet another source of 'expertise' on it?

the guide that came with her feelings is available online:
http://optaviamedia.com/pdf/LEARN/32240-GUI_OPTAVIA-30-Day.pdf

if I'm reading this correctly it looks like she'll be eating under 900 calories a day, which is lower than even Dr. Now's regimen. Also seems like she's already messing up, that "healthy snack" list definitely doesn't account for cheese sticks, the program seems to ban dairy altogether.

Also almond tard cum is listed under condiments, guess I gotta give a point to Al

This will be worth more to Amber than the eating out document for the program I expect, her giant baby mentality is the source of most of her problems physically it seems to me as it's the underlying source of the portion size distortions she engages in. Her new personal relic of fail will be the journal assignments in the micro habit building portion of this week, something I'd imagine along the lines of, "All fueling and no binging makes the monster truck a gorl in the nightlife," scrawled in crayon again and again eventually in more deranged handwriting.

 

[Long time lurker]

The question is, did this cost enough money to force the mental switch in Amber's mind from being a fat lazy slug about general health and dietary portion size to becoming invested in mastering the simple concepts being re-presented to her from yet another source of 'expertise' on it?

No.

Tbh, I don't think investing money, or a certain amount of money, is the key to becoming invested in anything. The only people I see throwing money at things are the ones who think they can buy skills and knowledge.

 

[Bitchinista]

I go to the gym daily and i tried a new machine that was pretty massive, and the weight limit was 400 pounds.. so im not even sure how she went to the gym even last year. She said in one video she wont even go outside to walk. Sad

In a different video she addressed her brief gym membership and said when she tried to get on the treadmill it literally wouldn't move because of her weight and she realized she is too heavy for gym equipment.

 

[Xenomorph]

All quiet on the AL front.

Wonder how these first days are treating our gorl

 

[ADHD]

Hell; lifting her own arms above her head in sets would be exercise for her at this point, leg lifts, etc. Her own body weight is enough for strength exercises.

Washing her fucking hair would count as a workout, which is why her hair is always piled in a greasy poop bun.