Amberlynn’s New Dietary Groove - Another Day, Another Failed Diet

[Mesh Gear Fox]

I have been thinking what Amber’s out is going to be for when this fails spectacularly. A few people have touched on this already, but here’s my prediction. She is going to claim that she had to stop the diet because she found out that Optavia is contraindicated for people with hypertension and gallstones. She’ll deflect blame and place it on her health coach for not warning her ahead of time. You know she is going to be looking for any excuse because she has hyped the shit out of this program. There were a number of comments in her YT videos pointing this fact out to her. In my opinion, this will be the optimal excuse because she won’t even have to admit to binging or eating things that aren’t part of the plan.

 

[Stephan Kang]

I ended up back here because of a kind of "cow inception": this Octavia business was posted on an antimlm board I'm on, with AL's info redacted, but in the comments everyone guessed. She really must be needing cash for this, as we all know she doesn't give a flying fuck about being 600lbs.
In case it wasn't posted before: Optavia scam
And here: Reddit antimlm on Optaiva

 

[pecansandies]

we're at a point where she doesn't even start this shit so it's even hard to say she's failed at something she never does. She talked about having a nutritionist without following that. Before that I believe she said she was starting WW again in a video but didn't actually do it.
(NOT that I condone WW or this Optavia shit because it does absolutely nothing to teach a person about how to create a healthy lifestyle, plan and cook healthy meals, and altogether set yourself up for success)

The last time she made any progress (that I can recall) was losing about 4-6lbs last spring, over the course of a couple of weeks, and she's gained over 100lbs since then.

but despite these real clear patterns of behaviour to go on, fuck us haydurs always being negative and toxic I guess

 

[my600lbfuneral]

Like everyone else on this sub I'd kill for an Amberlynn MSHPL episode.

Yep. A MSHPL episode or a collab with Nikocado Avocado. Stop with the daintiness, gorl, I want to see how much you can really eat!

 

[Bliss]

Optavia doesn't even adjust the amount of food based on your TDEE or starting weight. You can be 200lbs or 500lbs, it doesn't matter, they suggest the same 5+1 plan. There is zero chance amber will be able to follow through with this.

 

[AbraCadaver]

I firmly believe she will open the box, examine everything, take a bite of something and hate it, try a few more things and be equally disgusted and then chuck it in the cupboard where her feelings is bein stored and drop it. We will see it again in a year during a cleaning.

 

[Mr Foster]

I firmly believe she will open the box, examine everything, take a bite of something and hate it, try a few more things and be equally disgusted and then chuck it in the cupboard where her feelings is bein stored and drop it. We will see it again in a year during a cleaning.

to think Hamby will be physically able to clean her kitchen in a year.

She can't even clean her body.

 

[Orange//Net]

She's already acting as if the weightloss is inevitable

Well when you rot in the ground you do technically lose weight.

 

[sperginity]

Part of me wonders what new heights of cuntiness would be reached by a (relatively) thin amberlynn. She would dump everyone who was there for her as a fatty in .2 seconds. She would be around a lot longer as a cow. Also, the salt here would be great.

 

[Masta]

Part of me wonders what new heights of cuntiness would be .reached by a (relatively) thin amberlynn. She would dump everyone who was there for her as a fatty in .2 seconds. She would be around a lot longer as a cow. Also, the salt here would be great.

A thin AL actually would be a much more interesting AL, because her dating pool would be much larger, it means more characters, more drama.
She would have much more energy, so many more vlogs, much more content for us to shit on.
The spending would be Trisha pastas level.
She would not be held down in Kentucky, and she can find a much more suitable gf she likes in another state.
She would really be sexual with this partner, just to prove us wrong..

All of this is hypothetical, she will die before we get the chance to see a thin or normal size al.
Even if she did lose the weight, keeping the weight off is only the beginning, unless she had WLS.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

Also, the salt here would be great.

Well, thankfully the haydurz don't have much to worry about since Amber is only capable of sticking to a diet for a single meal.

WLS is most likely out because she's not rich enough to self-pay and insurance requirements aren't set up for deathfats. She'd have to lose weight on her own until about the low 300s so a bariatric surgeon would actually operate on her, then stall out for 6 months to qualify for a bariatric surgery consult, then lose weight successfully for two months afterwards and go through a psych consult in order to get through prior auth. Insurance requirements are meant for people who can already be safely operated on, they don't make much sense for 600 pounders unless you manage to find someone like Dr. Now.

Fat camps are ridiculously expensive. We're talking $3k/week range. That's pretty much out of the running as well.

Amber's most realistic chance at weight loss would come from Becky going full Misery and controlling the entirety of Amber's food intake while she vlogs and bitches from pillow mountain.

 

[AbraCadaver]

to think Hamby will be physically able to clean her kitchen in a year.

She can't even clean her body.

I said A cleaning. Not necessarily one done by her!

 

[Shiversblood]

I don’t like this plan because it says you have to do one meal on your own. You spend 400 dollars on this food but one mean has to be done on your own?? She is going to mess that meal up. I think she will not like this food and end up eating other food while on this diet plan which will mean she won’t lose any weight. I think she has already failed. I don’t know how long it will take for her to admit it tho.

 

[Guardsman42]

I am curious now, and maybe some KiwiTism can shed light..

Is this stuff really just protein shakes and protein bars? Like, apparently of lesser quality then walmart brand? Like couldn't you just go to Walmart and buy the same shit there? Or is it actually formulated different?

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

I am curious now, and maybe some KiwiTism can shed light..

Is this stuff really just protein shakes and protein bars? Like, apparently of lesser quality then walmart brand? Like couldn't you just go to Walmart and buy the same shit there? Or is it actually formulated different?

There's also mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, puffed snacks, and little cake type things. You can make waffles with the mashed potatoes, and muffins with the shakes. People on youtube have found many ways to "hack" the foods into different things to eat when they get bored. Most of the bars and shakes only have 5 grams of sugar which isn't all that bad compared to something like a luna bar which has more sugar.

You also get a certain number of "condiments" each day, which includes almond milk that you put in the shakes, which is why she was calling it a condiment.

 

[Ann Berlin]

I am curious now, and maybe some KiwiTism can shed light..

Is this stuff really just protein shakes and protein bars? Like, apparently of lesser quality then walmart brand? Like couldn't you just go to Walmart and buy the same shit there? Or is it actually formulated different?

Quick Google-fu:
OPTAVIA Chocolate Crunch Bar: 110 calories, 13 g carbs, 11 g protein
Chocolate Peanut Butter Luna Bar: 190 calories, 19 g carbs, 12 g protein
Chocolate Brownie Quest Bar: 180 calories, 23 g carbs, 20 g protein

Seems like slightly less calories and carbs but 100% rip off either way.

 

[Guardsman42]

So it doesn't sound different then a fucking weight watcher menu, maybe more disgusting?

I might have to look into the 'life hack' videos people have done. That is always the most interesting part of any of these. Sort of like 'MRE Cooking' videos. Has any one here personally tried this shit? Like we need some one who has samples to truly determine how inedible it is.

As an aside Hamber could eat healthier by just getting organic mac n cheese etc. <Hell Aldis some times Goat Cheese mac n cheese. I doubt it is much healthier, but for those who have issues with lactose it might be easier to eat.>

 

[Ann Berlin]

So it doesn't sound different then a fucking weight watcher menu, maybe more disgusting?

I might have to look into the 'life hack' videos people have done. That is always the most interesting part of any of these. Sort of like 'MRE Cooking' videos. Has any one here personally tried this shit? Like we need some one who has samples to truly determine how inedible it is.

As an aside Hamber could eat healthier by just getting organic mac n cheese etc. <Hell Aldis some times Goat Cheese mac n cheese. I doubt it is much healthier, but for those who have issues with lactose it might be easier to eat.>

Hamber could eat healthier by eating all the same foods but at a calorie deficit, which at her size could be up to 3000+ calories A DAY. It's wild, just by staying alive she burns most of a pound (3,500 cal) a day but eats it back and more. I guess that's what happens when you eat out for every meal.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Hamber could eat healthier by eating all the same foods but at a calorie deficit, which at her size could be up to 3000+ calories A DAY. It's wild, just by staying alive she burns most of a pound (3,500 cal) a day but eats it back and more. I guess that's what happens when you eat out for every meal.

I wonder what would happen if Amber were to go into a coma and wake up several hundred pounds lighter simply because she couldn't eat. Would she even recognize herself?

Probably not.

 

[Citroen]

Diets are our gorl's way of indefinitely delaying having to take responsibility for her food choices. She eats whatever she wants and then tells herself it's fine because she's a on a weight loss journey~ and she'll lose the weight in the future. The problem is that the future doesn't exist to the extent that life is a succession of the present. Since she never does anything in the present nothing ever gets done at all. It's not even a real diet, it's just the idea of a diet that our gorl likes to keep around.