🪦 Deceased Gwen Hartley & The Hartley Hooligans - Attention Seeking Horrorshow Mom of Two Dead Gremlins & Finally Free Human Son

[MirnaMinkoff]

In light of Claire’s passing, I decided to do something.
It’s the holiday season, and regardless of her mother’s behaviour, I want to take a moment to imagine the girl Claire could have been, had she not been born with such a debilitating condition, and to mourne the loss of that girl.
I’d like to imagine this is what she would look like in heaven, if there is one.
I have photoshopped a photograph of her, so we can look at it and bid her farewell with emotions in mind other than horror and abject disgust.
Rest In Peace Claire.
Ver archivo adjunto 622112

I think this version is scarier. Simply adding a forehead and making the eyes go in the right direction would do most of work of removing evolutionary ingrained dread.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

In light of Claire’s passing, I decided to do something.
It’s the holiday season, and regardless of her mother’s behaviour, I want to take a moment to imagine the girl Claire could have been, had she not been born with such a debilitating condition, and to mourne the loss of that girl.
I’d like to imagine this is what she would look like in heaven, if there is one.
I have photoshopped a photograph of her, so we can look at it and bid her farewell with emotions in mind other than horror and abject disgust.
Rest In Peace Claire.
Ver archivo adjunto 622112

I think this version is scarier. Simply adding a forehead and making the eyes go in the right direction would do most of work of removing evolutionary ingrained dread.

Actually this is more unsettling than her not having the majority of her brain, because then your lizard brain screams "defective child" while here she looks like her parents are probably hill people who are siblings and cousins, or what I imagine a Cro Magnon probably looked like.

 

[PoisonedBun]

I just realized the funeral/celebration of life was two days ago. Have any pictures or videos surfaced? A cursory glance at Insta, Facebook, and the blog show nothing new since the announcement.

Not that it’s probably our business to get up into such personal family affairs as a funeral. I’m mostly curious what’s been done with the body, if Gwen donated it to science (HA!), buried her, or is going to keep her ashes on the mantle.

 

[Muscle Bra]

Give it time. I'm sure Gwennie is getting a crap-ton of real-life asspats and "You're so brave..." statements condolences right now. Once those slow down, it will be time to fire up the social media and reap the virtual asspats.

Edited: because I'm a linguistic sperg

 

[RebatsivePulsard]

You bet it’s our business to witness the spectacle of a potato funeral. Gwennie made it our business by broadcasting every shit, fart, and bleat those genetic failures emitted.

I’m pretty sure her posting (and public interest) will drop off, since one malformed mess is far less interesting than a pair shoved in bizarre costumes.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

You bet it’s our business to witness the spectacle of a potato funeral. Gwennie made it our business by broadcasting every shit, fart, and bleat those genetic failures emitted.

I’m pretty sure her posting (and public interest) will drop off, since one malformed mess is far less interesting than a pair shoved in bizarre costumes.

Do you think in death she'll have a shred of dignity by being buried in a pretty dress?

Or is Gwen going to be Gwen and have her "sassy teen's" corpse desecrated by having a last laugh involving a banana costume?

 

[Bubblez McGee]

Do you think in death she'll have a shred of dignity by being buried in a pretty dress?

Or is Gwen going to be Gwen and have her "sassy teen's" corpse desecrated by having a last laugh involving a banana costume?

I think if Gwen could get away with stuffing her and keeping her taxidermied remains on her beanbag chair, she would. She'd probably still dress her up and take her out for "fun activities" like she did when she was alive. Other than shitting, farting and seizing, how much real difference would there be in how much she could do now versus what she did before her heart stopped?

 

[bigshot]

I think it would be a fitting tribute to Claire to create a virtual CGI hooligan and then project her as a hologram into big events like rock concerts and political gatherings. People don't last forever, but the horror never stops!

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

I think if Gwen could get away with stuffing her and keeping her taxidermied remains on her beanbag chair, she would. She'd probably still dress her up and take her out for "fun activities" like she did when she was alive. Other than shitting, farting and seizing, how much real difference would there be in how much she could do now versus what she did before her heart stopped?

Honestly it would be even more convenient. Her eyes could point in the same direction (or different) no shitting, no seizures, shit it might be better than when she was alive. God I'd kill for a horrifying rating.

 

[PeckingOrder]

Luckily for us, humans cannot be taxidermied. Attempts have been made, but... let’s just say they didn’t end well.
Maybe a wax figure of Claire’s likeness? That would be equally disturbing and would not desecrate her body further. She could still dress it up for Halloween!
(God I feel gross for even suggesting that.)

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I figure we won’t hear anything from Gwen for at least a few weeks. Claire dying right before Christmas was pretty awful timing. Cal and Dad probably had to suffer through the worst Christmas ever.

I’d expect the long post about the beautiful service and something Gwen will invent in memory of Claire in late January. She will probably be to depressed to take a photo of Lola solo for awhile too.

She will cling to Lola doubly hard now too. (Which is sad because Cal should be the child she clings to and comforts since he’s probably in deep grief while Lola has zero clue about anything, but every time Lola roots or twitches Gwen will see it as evidence of her missing Claire. Cal sobbing uncontrollably on the sofa might get her notice for a minute. I always worried that Gwen gave Cal unrealistic expectations for his sisters’ lifespans so it might have really come as a shock)

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I figure we won’t hear anything from Gwen for at least a few weeks. Claire dying right before Christmas was pretty awful timing. Cal and Dad probably had to suffer through the worst Christmas ever.

I’d expect the long post about the beautiful service and something Gwen will invent in memory of Claire in late January. She will probably be to depressed to take a photo of Lola solo for awhile too.

She will cling to Lola doubly hard now too. (Which is sad because Cal should be the child she clings to and comforts since he’s probably in deep grief while Lola has zero clue about anything, but every time Lola roots or twitches Gwen will see it as evidence of her missing Claire. Cal sobbing uncontrollably on the sofa might get her notice for a minute. I always worried that Gwen gave Cal unrealistic expectations for his sisters’ lifespans so it might have really come as a shock)

Honestly, Cal needs to be deprogrammed and thrown into a hospitable place FAR away from his parents and brainlet sister. He's smart enough to make a good living on his own.

Spoiler: You're probably thinking I'm joking about the brainlet part

 

[heathercho]

I think it would be a fitting tribute to Claire to create a virtual CGI hooligan and then project her as a hologram into big events like rock concerts and political gatherings. People don't last forever, but the horror never stops!

Intergrate Claire into Eagle Eyes...

 

[Kosher Dill]

Luckily for us, humans cannot be taxidermied. Attempts have been made, but... let’s just say they didn’t end well.
Maybe a wax figure of Claire’s likeness?

They're going to have her bronzed.

 

[heathercho]

We Need A Little Clair-bot Christmas! ༺♥༻

Shlemiel, Schlemazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated
Published on Dec 24, 2018


"We need a little resuscitation! Right this very minute! Monitor says she's flat-line, Don't fuck with that stupid spinet!! Yes, I said we need a little resuscitation! Right this very minute, We need some defibrillation paddles right now!!

 

[A Detachable Penis]

It seems like such a tiny metabolic flaw but the results of it are breathtakingly catastrophic.

The variation of it that was posted a few times in the thread, just recently a page or two back, with the little girl who definitely has issues but is no where near potato level. But from what I’ve read she is lucky or at least one of the few not totally potato cases found so far.

Pretty much every family has a different mutation in the protein. That little girl seemed to have a partly functional protein otherwise she'd already be a potato.

Even better, I searched through the moms Instagram which is more recently updated and the non-potato is walking now! You go, non-potato kid.

 

[PettyBitch]

I figure we won’t hear anything from Gwen for at least a few weeks. Claire dying right before Christmas was pretty awful timing. Cal and Dad probably had to suffer through the worst Christmas ever.

I’d expect the long post about the beautiful service and something Gwen will invent in memory of Claire in late January. She will probably be to depressed to take a photo of Lola solo for awhile too.

She will cling to Lola doubly hard now too. (Which is sad because Cal should be the child she clings to and comforts since he’s probably in deep grief while Lola has zero clue about anything, but every time Lola roots or twitches Gwen will see it as evidence of her missing Claire. Cal sobbing uncontrollably on the sofa might get her notice for a minute. I always worried that Gwen gave Cal unrealistic expectations for his sisters’ lifespans so it might have really come as a shock)

Cal just had his 20th birthday this month. The same month as his first sister dying. Now that's fucking sad. Honestly, I'm not even sad for Gwen and I don't care if that makes me shitty. She's not a good person. But Cal didn't have a choice. And I believe that he loves both of his sisters. Ugh, I don't feel feelings for people much, but damn...

Included is a picture of Gwen's babbling about his birthday on the 1st of this month and Cal's post about Claire after she died.

 

[latter day taint]

I think Gwen will have one of those horrific silicone dolls made of Claire.

 

[Bubblez McGee]

Honestly, Cal needs to be deprogrammed and thrown into a hospitable place FAR away from his parents and brainlet sister. He's smart enough to make a good living on his own.

Spoiler: You're probably thinking I'm joking about the brainlet part

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I think this one bares and even closer resemblance to Lola..
.

 

[bigshot]

Luckily for us, humans cannot be taxidermied.

It's a good thing that Claire wasn't really human!