Did you have to keep a tard log? Like a daily record of all the tarded shenanigans?
My brother worked as a tard wrangler for one summer when he was in college. He was assigned to a single tard, but the guy was a behemoth, he was rambunctious, and he had scary exceptional individual strength. My brother was a strapping boy so he got pitted against the leviathan, and it was basically Thunderdome rules.
They had a routine where my brother would wrestle the guy into the short bus van after breakfast and drive him around aimlessly for a few hours, because it was one of the few things that kept the turnip head docile. My brother would listen to Howard Stern on the radio, and his tard developed a habit of shouting "Bababooey! Bababooey!" constantly and it drove everybody at the tard hut crazy.
So yeah, my brother was required to keep a log of the daily activities of his tard, and, on Friday nights, a bunch of us would meet up at a bar, and my brother would regale us with readings from his tard log. It was hysterical. Episodes of public masturbation, pants pissing, "fecal smearing", "self harm", etc... but the "self harm" was mostly my brother's way of explaining away the bruises, because the scuffles to keep his tard under control would often necessitate full Nelsons, camel clutches, dropkicks, and figure 4 leglocks and the like.
We'd be laughing so hard at my brothers' Adventures of a Tard Wrangler stories at the bar that we'd often attract a crowd. Some nights there'd be like a crowd of upwards of a dozen people laughing themselves to tears at my brother's recounting of the week's tard malarkey.
Good times, good times.
