DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Phil says: Well, I didn't but I'm not stupid.

And the lies continue

 

[JamFlowMan]

A while ago i promised never to see Phil play a F/TPS multiplayer game again and i also claimed i was going to break it... Well i broke it!

Been watching him play RDR2 Online and Most Wanted matches, all he does is bitching about how broke the game is when ever he fucks up.

1. He gets shot in the head is not because they aim quicker and better than him, they just have better weapons.
2. Sitting in a bush is behind cover and no one should be able to shoot you.
3. Standing in a desert means you are both covered and invincible behind dust.
4. You should be allowed to run around for a long time before someone can find and shoot you.
5. Because he has auto aim on it means everyone else have it and headshots are impossible.
6. Despite losing balance and sliding down a hill you should have perfect aim.
7. People attacking you from behind just appear out of thin air.
8. Everyone have played it 2 days more than Phil and are therefore much better than him.
9. Everyone who have played RDR2 agrees with him that the controls are bad and delays.
10. You can snipe with shotguns.
11. Taking cover and move around is weird gameplay.

He played a match in a lightly wooden camp area, the next match was in a town.
Phil: "Oh, this time we are in a town, this is good! This is better than some fucking... you know random... ehhh... stupid... ehhh grass!"

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Fun and chill stream with a 3rd grader?

He fucked up by waiting a few days to play. If he hops on day 1 he can usually squeak out some kind of victory before everyone else learns and adapts while Phil never moves past day 1 blind skill level. Then the game sucks everytime he plays it but it may stay in rotation longer if he has one fluke win he can attempt to recreate over and over again.

 

[OneDaySon]

There are four guarantees with DSP character creation, always:
1)Name is some "funny" joke name, if he can't think of one he just goes with DarksydePhil (Even if he's naming the protagonist of the story. He'll still name them Darksydephil as their name and the characters refer to him as such)
2) Character has slicked back black hair, goatee, pale skin.
3) He'll spend forever in the character creator making sure that it looks as MUCH like him as possible and complain he can't get it to look like him. He'll also complain about all the ugly hairs and beards
4) "HE'S SO UGLY. LOOK AT HIM, HE'S SO UGLY!" (He doubles the amount of times he says this if he uses a faceimporter so it actually looks like him)

 

[Agentsmith]

I actually think D$P believes he is a hard worker...

For a while I thought he said it just to imply / big note that he was 'busy'; plus suggest he had no time to do anything else (ie get a job)

but he mentions it so many times that now I think he actually believes it OR has convinced himself of the delusion

 

[Destro1986]

I actually think D$P believes he is a hard worker...

For a while I thought he said it just to imply / big note that he was 'busy'; plus suggest he had no time to do anything else (ie get a job)

but he mentions it so many times that now I think he actually believes it OR has convinced himself of the delusion

A good liar legit believes their lie in the moment.

 

[JMR]

Really bad moment for Phil towards the end of his first session of Red Dead II Online. He was tired from (according to him) Thanksgiving leftovers and was yawning a lot.

I think the game mode was a team deathmatch and he was repeatedly getting one-shotted (headshot). He kept complaining (obviously), asking how they're killing him with one shot.

Phil replied to chat, "People are saying 'headshot'! You can't do a headshot! It auto-aims for the body. How the fuck do you get a headshot?"

Everyone including Waggins was like wtflol.

 

[Dragoonism]

He fucked up by waiting a few days to play. If he hops on day 1 he can usually squeak out some kind of victory before everyone else learns and adapts while Phil never moves past day 1 blind skill level. Then the game sucks everytime he plays it but it may stay in rotation longer if he has one fluke win he can attempt to recreate over and over again.

He fucked up thinking that a 30+ person mostly familiar with JRPG and single player F/TPS games, somehow is going to have the same reflexes as a 15-20 year old who have grown up with and played games like this for 10-15 years already.

I will never understand how he thinks that he can play multiplayer like as if it is singleplayer, in single player he can tank up and wait for dumb AI enemies to spawn and follow a pre programmed pattern, humans in multiplayer won't do that, his 10 year legacy mean shit if he can't keep up and it is impossible for him to do.

I think the game mode was a team deathmatch and he was repeatedly getting one-shotted (headshot). He kept complaining (obviously), asking how they're killing him with one shot.

He was playing Most Wanted, the more kills you had when you got killed the more points your killer got!

Note: First time he was going to play it he was way more focused on what chat did than reading any instructions on the screen, despite them being there for 1-2 min, and only to run around wondering what to do and why people got so much more points than him.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Everyone including Waggins was like wtflol.

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Ladies and gentlemen we might have a confirmation that his true & honest fanbase is in fact not laughing with him, but laughing at him.

5 points to the gout variant of Gryffindor.

Edit: Oh shoot, there was more.

Almost spit my drink while reading...

I dunno what's more hilarious. I guess it's the whole combination:

1. The fact he falls for nearly every single bait
2. The fact he creates his own troll bait and falls for it (and makes trolls to a long winded topic all on his own) although there isn't even a troll nearby
3. The fact he can't live without trolls because he and his "work" would end in forgottenness so he has to stir up drama out of thin air.

Man this guy.
Does he not realize he is supposed to talk to his chat, and not the other way around?

It's reactionary commentary, he can't react if nobody says anything! He can only start a conversation if drama is included, but when has he ever started a mundane dialogue? Or let me rephrase that. He is never involved in dialogues, he only wants to hear himself, his opinions and you don't dare to give any answer that even resembles another opinion than his or you're blocked.

Would it hurt to just say some random character that you prefer?

Dave is already so damn paranoid he thinks his opinion - an opinion without consequences - has to be factual right or it will be dismantled by detractors. The dirty detractors would try to disprove a taste.

Even if he would make a factual wrong statement, like "Goku has a nasal illness", yeah sure. But even then, to say it with his own words, it's not real. Who gives a shit?Just voice an opinion as an entertainer,it don't has to be "right", it can even be a joke answer. Like "My favorite Dragon Quest XI character is banana. Unfortunately the hero ate him. Tragic. RIP banana."

 

[samovski]

Really bad moment for Phil towards the end of his first session of Red Dead II Online. He was tired from (according to him) Thanksgiving leftovers and was yawning a lot.

I think the game mode was a team deathmatch and he was repeatedly getting one-shotted (headshot). He kept complaining (obviously), asking how they're killing him with one shot.

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Phil replied to chat, "People are saying 'headshot'! You can't do a headshot! It auto-aims for the body. How the fuck do you get a headshot?"

Everyone including Waggins was like wtflol.

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You can tell that rat fagginz is bored of Dave now. Paid out the ass for a mod and now she's bored. Wonder what it's like to be such a faggot irl that you'd be like this.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

After begging for more Patreon money, Phil just lost another $5 patron (it was 140 patrons for $587 after WOOF pulled his support a week ago

He probably reminded someone to pull the paymetron money with that tweet tbh

He was pressing buttons man, there's nothing he can do

 

[Raven'sChild]

He did, back when it was a hobby. As soon as this became his job he started taking it a little too serious. When it became necessity I think the hatred for games began to grow.

That and wanting to apparently be pro at every game he plays. He's driven himself half-mad with his desperation to be good at the thing he chose to do.

He never took playing video games for YT seriously. He's said this repeatedly and lead to one of his famous quotes ( I can be good at games if I want to ). If he wanted to 'be pro at every game he plays' he'd take the time to learn how to play the game at hand. Seeing as he doesn't even remotely try to do this I must disagree. Additionally, he doesn't attempt to be good at anything he chooses to do. If he so desired, he wouldn't do everything so half-assed. He would have made improvements in a timely fashion and not years after most everyone else on whatever platform he is on. He would research his industry, keep abreast of trends and tech, work 'off the clock' ( instead of taking an entire stream off/push the start of the stream back an hour or more to do these things *cough* review the questions for ATK ), use his YT analytics for more than just view count/estimated income...

Really bad moment for Phil towards the end of his first session of Red Dead II Online. He was tired from (according to him) Thanksgiving leftovers and was yawning a lot.

Thanksgiving was literally a week ago. He ate seven day old Turkey and side dishes? Inb4 D$P calls in sick tomorrow from food poisoning.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

After begging for more Patreon money, Phil just lost another $5 patron (it was 140 patrons for $587 after WOOF pulled his support a week ago

He probably reminded someone to pull the paymetron money with that tweet tbh

He was pressing buttons man, there's nothing he can do

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This shits like when he played that pirate game and his ship was full of holes and he didn’t even bothered trying to plug up any until it was 2 late and the ship sank

 

[Forbidden Math]

Really bad moment for Phil towards the end of his first session of Red Dead II Online. He was tired from (according to him) Thanksgiving leftovers and was yawning a lot.

I think the game mode was a team deathmatch and he was repeatedly getting one-shotted (headshot). He kept complaining (obviously), asking how they're killing him with one shot.

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Phil replied to chat, "People are saying 'headshot'! You can't do a headshot! It auto-aims for the body. How the fuck do you get a headshot?"

Everyone including Waggins was like wtflol.

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Swaggot was basically a detractor tonight, shame it costs so much money to speak your mind in DSP's chat.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

This shits like when he played that pirate game and his ship was full of holes and he didn’t even bothered trying to plug up any until it was 2 late and the ship sank

Here's what happened during Sea of Thieves premier stream you fucking detractor who only attacks Phil on a snippet of truth!

"Yes I noticed the water is getting closed to my waist level on the ship but I didn't know there's a hole! My teammate was driving the boat and no-one told me this, I did nothing wrong, I did everything correct! Why is the ship sinking?"

"It's glitched! It's GLITCHED DOOD!

Ackackackackackackack what a stoooopid fucking game, there's nothing I can do"

*Wet Snoooooooooooooooooooooooooort*

 

[Fuckyoudad]

How do you play the entire single player of Red Dead 2 and not figure out you aim manually for a headshot after locking on? Seriously what is this? Back in the day he used to get asked quite often if DSP was a character he was playing and it's shit like this that makes you wonder. This goes beyond a guy on the internet who isn't any good at games and into the realm of a guy who isn't any good at tying his own shoelaces.

There are plenty of instances in other games where it seems apparent that DSP is a guy who for some reason, doesn't investigate what every button on the controller does nevermind what different combinations of buttons do. Like this is truly abnormal behavior for most people who might say they play games let alone a guy who has wasted a decade plodding through every piece of shit game under the sun. He retains nothing outside of a few holdover mechanical man patterns in fighting games from the old days. People instinctively know shoulder buttons aim and shoot in shooters or accelerate and brake in racing games but you get the impression somehow Phil can't even hold onto this much.

If he doesn't have any diagnosed mental issues.. maybe it's time he went and seen a doctor found out about which ones he does have. The alternative is he's an actual pod person.

 

[JamFlowMan]

Thanksgiving was literally a week ago. He ate seven day old Turkey and side dishes? Inb4 D$P calls in sick tomorrow from food poisoning.

Think it is important to note it wasn't homemade left overs it was week old mail order leftovers.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

How do you play the entire single player of Red Dead 2 and not figure out you aim manually for a headshot after locking on? Seriously what is this? Back in the day he used to get asked quite often if DSP was a character he was playing and it's shit like this that makes you wonder. This goes beyond a guy on the internet who isn't any good at games and into the realm of a guy who isn't any good at tying his own shoelaces.

There are plenty of instances in other games where it seems apparent that DSP is a guy who for some reason, doesn't investigate what every button on the controller does nevermind what different combinations of buttons do. Like this is truly abnormal behavior for most people who might say they play games let alone a guy who has wasted a decade plodding through every piece of shit game under the sun. He retains nothing outside of a few holdover mechanical man patterns in fighting games from the old days. People instinctively know shoulder buttons aim and shoot in shooters or accelerate and brake in racing games but you get the impression somehow Phil can't even hold onto this much.

If he doesn't have any diagnosed mental issues.. maybe it's time he went and seen a doctor found out about which ones he does have. The alternative is he's an actual pod person.

For a lot of gamers, the enjoyment of playing a game comes from overcoming a challenging situation. For Phil, his biggest satisfaction is winning. While I normally hate the term because it is very overused, Phil is probably the best example I can think of a casual gamer. He cares way more about achievements and trophies and feeling like a winner than he does actually being good at a game or getting engrossed in the story/mechanics etc. The only reason he doesn't play games on easy mode is because of his pride.

Because he's not invested in the games themselves, he really doesn't understand them. It's pretty apparent anytime he comes across a puzzle, or even "puzzles" like crouch jumping. He just wants to brute force his way through things without learning or actually playing the game and enjoying himself, because his enjoyment is entirely based on feeling like a winner. What's especially sad/funny about Phil is he's so deluded he doesn't realize that his "accomplishments" are literally things thousands of other people have done, but he genuinely thinks he's some sort of video game prodigy and him beating a game is somehow something special and not, you know, something everyone else who has purchased that game has done. It's especially baffling too when you consider the fact that unlike other streamers, he doesn't even have a challenging gimmick going, like playing blindfolded or using a DDR pad or whatever.

Age and his poor vision certainly don't help either, but I think if he actually cared or was invested in a game, he'd still at least be able to grasp the basic mechanics of it.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

For a lot of gamers, the enjoyment of playing a game comes from overcoming a challenging situation. For Phil, his biggest satisfaction is winning. While I normally hate the term because it is very overused, Phil is probably the best example I can think of a casual gamer. He cares way more about achievements and trophies and feeling like a winner than he does actually being good at a game or getting engrossed in the story/mechanics etc. The only reason he doesn't play games on easy mode is because of his pride.

Because he's not invested in the games themselves, he really doesn't understand them. It's pretty apparent anytime he comes across a puzzle, or even "puzzles" like crouch jumping. He just wants to brute force his way through things without learning or actually playing the game and enjoying himself, because his enjoyment is entirely based on feeling like a winner. What's especially sad/funny about Phil is he's so deluded he doesn't realize that his "accomplishments" are literally things thousands of other people have done, but he genuinely thinks he's some sort of video game prodigy and him beating a game is somehow something special and not, you know, something everyone else who has purchased that game has done. It's especially baffling too when you consider the fact that unlike other streamers, he doesn't even have a challenging gimmick going, like playing blindfolded or using a DDR pad or whatever.

Age and his poor vision certainly don't help either, but I think if he actually cared or was invested in a game, he'd still at least be able to grasp the basic mechanics of it.

Like, a streamer I watch played Assassin's Creed for a couple of days.
He knew exactly that he wouldn't finish the game but only play it until another game was released which suited him better.
So to make the streams more interesting, he actually played the game on Nightmare difficulty so the viewers could have a laugh and he would have a challenge during these couple of streams.

Phil would never do this kind of thing.

 

[Kermit the Frog]

Thanksgiving was literally a week ago. He ate seven day old Turkey and side dishes? Inb4 D$P calls in sick tomorrow from food poisoning.

Phil's stomach has most likely adapted quite well to all the nasty shit he's devoured over the course of his life. A week old defrosted frozen turkey dinner is nothing. You'd have to be a real lazy, cheap fuck with no dignity to not throw that out and eat anything else.
He really can't function like a normal person without a more mature adult constantly coddling him. It reminds me of the fact that Phil didn't know how to do his own laundry until Leanna left him and he was forced to figure it out. A 35 year old man with his own fucking house couldn't operate a washing machine. What a world we live in.

 

[Wurstbrot]

A 35 year old man with his own fucking house couldn't operate a washing machine. What a world we live in.

How has he managed anything during study? Has he lived with his parents while learning to do business and finance related decisions? What has he done in his condo? Sent his parents his dirty clothes? Or the parents came over? Or has he waited to do any laundry until he got his personal maid Leanna? Or has he bought new clothes as soon as they got dirty?

tl;dr History says he should be able to operate a washing machine years ago.