💼 Careercow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

[Mustikki]

Is it just in my head or did he sped up his speech? It has weird pitch.

 

[Splendid]

We're the Kiwi Gremlins

Hot new meme guys, get it while it's still spicy.

 

[Professional Meanie]

Killing in a high school is fun to think about,

I honestly hope he finds a way to make the final game. Most of the stuff that’s been said about him is his bad coding and asset stealing. It would be a refreshing change for this thread if we could start talking about the actual game design.

I don't think it's likely but I'd love for Alex to start his redemption story. Him looking at the code and rewriting it, as well as looking into original assets is a small step to a new and improved EvaXephon.

Spoiler

I have little hope.

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

So Alex mentioned that the shitty framerate is due to rendering from multiple cameras simultaneously and he figured out how to turn them off.
Did he release the fixed build, and if so, did the framerate improve?

Also, since he mentioned that the mirror is implemented as a camera, I decided to check how exactly it works. I scoured dozens of youtube videos looking for a recent-ish footage with the mirror in clear view (doesn't help that the game has three clubrooms that are fucking purple!) and I found this:

Yup. The mirror doesn't even work like a mirror, it works like a flat screen for a static camera, located near the middle of the mirror and pointing perpendicularly towards the opposite wall.

 

[RevolutionaryChocolate]

So, how close to the truth is he when he says rendering is more problematic for the frame rate than the spaghetti code?

 

[Cast Away]

I saw several videos and contacted the creator. If this game ever gets fully created, it will probably be a tool used by the fed to train soldiers to kill without thought. I see this being a game for sickos and such, but nothing else than a fringe market. Bloody, gory, murder, I think it could be a release or something for some of us. Since real murder is illegal, this could be an outlet for that violence that even GTA 5 didn't cover.


This game needs a mod made for politicians running for office. Install all the major conference halls and the player goes and kills the targeted politician. I think this could be a great release for us voters who failed to get our way. The money for these mods would be huge. Killing in a high school is fun to think about, but most of us are not there anymore. We are voters and want to slay whom ever we hate on the ballot. A bunch of convention centers and a range of soldier earned through your normal game would make playing all the more worth it. That's where I see the money.

Go back to stalking Chris Chan.

 

[Russtard]

Got more leaks for you.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12umv9ulBlkKMnow0sbJ7K1KKuzBuFeXgwxfyvNCYEEQ/edit?usp=sharing

Alex's next video script. Got it from a friend of a friend who is a volunteer.
[/SPOILER]

*CTRL+F "apologize"* 0 results
*CTRL+F "sorry"* 0 results

Who could have possibly predicted this wild turn of events?

 

[Cast Away]

Btw Alex, you want to get the truth out don't you? Well I helped you edit your script for the reason, enjoy!

ALEX MAHAN'S PITY PARTY - TRANSLATED SCRIPT

This is you.

Translation: This is you, a creepy incel weaboo with anger issues

And this is every single message you’ve ever posted to the internet over the course of your entire life.

Translation: Here is everything single message I've posted on the Internet, a majority of which paint me as a creepy intel weaboo with anger issues who refused to take criticism from people trying to help me and even solicited sex from a 14 year old

Most of these messages are pretty harmless. However, some of these messages – less than 1% - make you look bad.

Translation - Ignore that fact that Kiwifarms has a 1500+ page thread documenting all the creepy and lolcow-ish behavior I've exhibited, it's all harmless I swear, don't go look at it and form your own opinion!

Some of these messages might be something dumb you said when you were younger and less mature.

Translation - I was young and foolish, but don't go looking at my past because you'll see a trend that I haven't changed a single bit

Some of these messages might be something rude you said when you were in a bad mood.

Translation - When people don't shower me with endless praise I get pissy and tell my fans to kill themselves

Some of these messages might only look bad if you don’t know the context.

Translation - NO! BELIEVE ME! IT'S ALL LIES! PLEASE DON'T GO DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!

These embarrassing messages would make up less than 1% of everything you’ve ever done and said over the course of your life and none of these things would accurately represent who you really are. However, imagine if someone decides to take all these embarrassing moments from your past, put them into a list….

Translation - Dang dirty Kiwifarms dare make a thread about me and laugh at me! REEEEE!

…and shows this list to his friends. Then, he claims that list represents you.

Translation - KIWIFARMS ARE GREMLINS!!!

Their hobby is misleading and shaming people, and they decide that you would be a fun target.

Translation - I act like an exceptional individual on a public domain known as the Internet but I don't want people to laugh at me for it

And so, they start stalking you. They follow you everywhere you go, taking pictures of you, …recording videos of you…

Translation - Kiwifarms has a don't engage the cow in real life rule. I don't remember seeing a single RL picture or video of Alex Mahan taken by a Kiwi.

And digging through your trash to look for anything embarrassing you might have thrown away.

Translation - It's my past! I know I haven't changed a bit from it but don't you'd dare criticize me for it!

Sometimes they even try to directly provoke you, because they think it’s funny if they get a reaction out of you.

Translation - But by reacting to it you make yourself an even bigger lolcow and make other s even more willing to milk you. Perhaps you've realized that responding to trolls only makes you get trolled harder?

You might try to explain that you’ve changed over the years, or explain that your old messages only look bad because they don’t have the necessary context.

Translation - YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL ME! I AM A GENIUS GAME DEVELOPER WHO HAS BEEN VICTIMIZED BY THE DANG DIRTY HATERS! ALL MY TWEEN FANS AGREE! IF YOU DON'T YOU ARE A DANG DIRTY TROLL AND I NEED TO DELETE YOUR COMMENTS AND BLOCK YOU. ANYONE WHO DARES CRITICIZE ME IS A TROLL!

You might try to prove that they’re wrong about you by remaining on your best behavior for as long as possible… ..but it won’t help.

Translation - I've tried censoring criticism for so long, but somehow that doesn't change the perception that I'm an exceptional individual who can't take criticism, why???

Anytime you ever say anything, no matter how harmless, they will interpret what you’ve said in the most negative manner possible. They’ll even stretch the truth as far as they possibly can, so they can continue believing that you are they monster they want you to be.

Translation - MY CODE IS NOT SPAGHETTI! I AM NOT A CREEPY PERVERT! I AM NOT A CRYBABY! IT'S ALL LIES!!!

For example, Let's say that you announce you're going on a diet. But once a month, you allow yourself to have a single candy bar. They will take pictures of you on the one day when you're eating a candy bar, make a collage of these pictures, and then claim you're a fat pig who is constantly eating candy.

Translation - Let's say I demand $3500+ Patreon bucks to make this video game and get more money from YouTube and Twitch Rev. Let's say I promise to spend most of my time working on the game and tell my fanbase I don't take vacations. Then let's say my fans catching me lying my ass off and streaming vidya games daily, sometimes for up to 8 hours at a time. Then I lie and say I need a vacation and make more excuses on why I'm not making progress on core aspects of the game. Then when people call me out on making pointless Easter eggs and YouTube vids instead of working then IT'S NOT FAIR! I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO WORK ON YANSIM I AM NOT LAZY!

All they had to do was simply talk to you and ask for an explanation, but they have no interest whatsoever in knowing the truth.

Translation - DO NOT ASK FOR EXPLANATION ON PUBLIC DOMAINS BECAUSE OTHER MIGHT SEE IT! MESSAGE ME PRIVATELY SO I CAN PRIVATELY REEE AT YOU AND BLOCK YOU!

They will dig as far into your past as possible, invade your privacy at every opportunity, and carefully observe every aspect of your personal life in search of anything they use to make fun of you. Eventually, they’ll discover your private information, record every conversation you take part in, and take screenshots of everything you say, just in case one day it can be used against you.

Translation - DANG DIRTY KIWIFARMS STOP LAUGHING AT ME REEEEE!

You might say to yourself, “Oh, who cares if theres a bunch of weirdos who gossip about me? Who cares if they believe a bunch of nonsense that isn’t true? I don’t care, I’ll just continue living my life.”

Translation - Yeah, but if you truly understood that, you wouldn't be a lolcow and have a 1500+ page thread on Kiwifarms now

These people aren't just content to simply gossip... they want everyone to talk trash about you. And so. They'll invade other websites. Tumblr, Reddit, YouTube they will make blog posts, forum threads, ad videos and try to convince people that they
should at hate you

Translation - After earning myself a Kiwifarms thread I find people outside of Kiwifarms are laughing at my exceptional ass as well. It's definitely the fault of the autistic legions who are trying to smear me! It's definitely not because people with half a brain read my Kiwifarms thread realized how much of an exceptional individual I am and are laughing at me while I REEE at some invisible "Bunny Army"

After enough people have been convinced that you‘re an awful, terrible person who deserves to be ridiculed and scorned, you will begin to receive harassment, prank calls, weird things being mailed your house, your accounts burg hacked. etc. Some people will even impersonate you and behave badly to add fuel to the fire.

Translation - I HAVE NOT BEEN ACTING LIKE A SPERG! I HAVE BEEN HACKED!

If you ever attempt to defend yourself or clear up misunderstandings you will be ridiculed and harassed

Translation - I got pissed that the Yan_Sim subreddit wouldn't help "defend" and "clear up misunderstandings" for me by deleting comments that criticize me or banning people I don't like so I created my own subreddit to engage in mass censorship and I wonder why people are ridiculing me for it.

It you ever express anger at the people tormenting you, you will be ridiculed and harassed

Translation - I act in an even more exceptional manner and I wonder why people are laughing at me even harder

If you try to put a stop to the smear campaign against you you will be ridiculed and harassed

Translation - Who knew that striking down videos criticizing you and demanding stuff be taken down only makes people more curious about what it is you're hiding?

If you try ignore all of the drama and live a happy life without causing trouble for anyone, they will still find SOME reason to keep ridiculing and harassing you.

Translation - Because exceptional individuals just can't help themselves


To be continued...

 

[Vibe]

So you're telling me that despite feeling like he had three guns pointed against his head he still couldn't code competently or implement Osana in over 4.5 years, of having a "three guns pointed to my head".

 

[PantiesAreImportant]

You know, if he's really a misunderstood poor soul, he should show us/the fans that he improved instead of repeating the same shit over and over. This only gonna make people remember all the shitty things he posted on the internet again (which is more than 1% lol) and make new fans curious and look up what the whole thing is about.
People must have been losing interest in the game(and the farms too), so he has to bring back the drama, eh?

Also, no amount of sad anime girl videos will change my opinion about him. (that he's a perverted incel edgelord with shitty humor)

 

[Cast Away]

Also, no amount of sad anime girl videos will change my opinion about him. (that he's a perverted incel edgelord with shitty humor)

I wouldn't blame you considering he hasn't changed a bit from his EvaXephon days

 

[shasetoma.]

It seems to me that he only started realizing his mistakes at a subconcious level by shutting himself off from the public. I find that rather fascinating, as I thought holing himself up in his streams and Discord server would just have him hugboxed beyond redemption.
Now, even if he were to improve his programming and rewrite the game to the point where he could have an optimized, playable game by next year, that's only one of the plethora of issues he has to face with this project. There's still the stolen/"placeholder" assets, thematic issues, the clusterfuck of a story he's written, the sheer degree of feature creep he's imposed onto the game, and Osana. Where is Osana? His issues with this game, both in its programming and its concepts can never begin to be resolved until he admits it's his fault to himself and everyone. Loudly. And quite frankly, I don't think he's capable of doing that, because it would mean going back on years of doubling down against all of his dischanted fans, KF, PULL, Tumblr, 4chan, 8chan, Reddit, and big daddy MikeZ.
Prove me wrong, Alex, I dare you.

 

[Annanasz]

So you're telling me that despite feeling like he had three guns pointed against his head he still couldn't code competently or implement Osana in over 4.5 years, of having a "three guns pointed to my head".

Apparently he wants to die, so he's trying to bait someone to pull the trigger finally. And I agree, he should just retire at this point, he's still trying to generate hype while indie games come out left and right that weren't even in the works when he first started. He can be a shitty streamer still, but he knows the only reason people have any interest in his streams is his attachment to this DoA project.

 

[Russtard]

People must have been losing interest in the game(and the farms too), so he has to bring back the drama, eh?

Good to see Eva taking a break from uploading 45 minute videos blaming his own fans for his shit development speed to piss and moan about how everything shitty he's done has been clipped out of context. Damn dirty trolls!

ETA: Just checked out the Wordpress blog. The bawwwing is incredible. "Wahhh all these comments are causing me to lose motivation to work on the game!" Then quit retard. Yandere Simulator isn't the cure for cancer.

 

[Parappa does the PPAP]

Hot new meme guys, get it while it's still spicy.

“They made fun of my game.......”

“And now they’re gonna make fun of me!”

“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD”

 

[alphalumerio]

Got more leaks for you.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12umv9ulBlkKMnow0sbJ7K1KKuzBuFeXgwxfyvNCYEEQ/edit?usp=sharing

Alex's next video script. Got it from a friend of a friend who is a volunteer.

Spoiler: Script

Imagine yourself in the following situation


This is you.


THE FIRST IMAGE WE SEE OF THE GIRL. SHE SHOULD LOOK FRIENDLY AND HAPPY, MAYBE WAVING TOWARDS VIEWER.


And this is every single message you’ve ever posted to the internet over the course of your entire life.


GRAPHIC WILL APPEAR BESIDE THE GIRL. SHE SHOULD TURN SLIGHTLY TO THE SIDE, LIKE SHE IS ACKNOWLEDGING THESE IMAGES BESIDE HER. SHE SHOULD HAVE A “CURIOUS” FACIAL EXPRESSION AND ”CURIOUS” BODY LANGUAGE.


Most of these messages are pretty harmless. However, some of these messages – less than 1% - make you look bad.


THE GIRL LOOKS A LITTLE WORRIED, MAYBE RAISING HER HAND TO HER MOUTH IN SLIGHT SURPRISE.


Some of these messages might be something dumb you said when you were younger and less mature.


THE GIRL LOOKS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSED AND UNCOMFORTABLE LIKE SOMEONE JUST BROUGHT UP A CRINGY THING SHE DID IN THE PAST.


Some of these messages might be something rude you said when you were in a bad mood.


ANOTHER RIMAGE OF THE GIRL LOOKING EMBARRASSED AND UNCOMFY


Some of these messages might only look bad if you don’t know the context.


ANOTHER IMAGE OF THE GIRL LOOKING EMBARRASSED AND UNCOMFY


These embarrassing messages would make up less than 1% of everything you’ve ever done and said over the course of your life and none of these things would accurately represent who you really are. However, imagine if someone decides to take all these embarrassing moments from your past, put them into a list….


A GREMLIN SHOWS UP, HOLDING A SCROLL. I’M IMAGINING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. Imgur.com/ THE SCROLL SHOULD BE BLANK, I’LL PUT STUFF ON IT.


…and shows this list to his friends. Then, he claims that list represents you.


THREE GREMLINS STANDING TOGETHER, LOOKING AT THE (GREMLIN) THAT IS HOLDING THE SCROLL


His friends believe him, and develop a very negative image of you. Hey picture you as a twisted caricature of who you really are with all of your flaws greatly exaggerated.


A THOUGHT BUBBLE COMES OUT OF THE (GREMLIN)’S HEADS, DEPICTING AN UGLY, TWISTED CARICATURE OF THE GIRL.


Their hobby is misleading and shaming people, and they decide that you would be a fun target.


THE (GREMLINS) PERFORM EVIL “MWA HA HA!” POSES, SOMETHING LIKE THIS IMGUR.COM/


And so, they start stalking you. They follow you everywhere you go, taking pictures of you.

AN IMAGINE OF THE GIRL WALKING PEACEFULLY ALONG WITH THREE (GREMLINS STALKING HER FROM BEHIND HOLDING CAMERAS.


…recording videos of you…


AN IMAGE OF A (GREMLIN) POKING HIS HEAD OUT OF A BUSH, HOLDING A VIDEO CAMERA, FILMING THE GIRL.


And digging through your trash to look for anything embarrassing you might have thrown away.


THE GIRL THROWS AN OBJECT- MAYBE A BANANA PEEL?- INTO A TRASH CAN AND THE GREMLINS GATHER AROUND THE TRASH CAN.


Sometimes they even try to directly provoke you, because they think it’s funny if they get a reaction out of you.


AN IMAGE OF THE GREMLIN POKING AT THE GIRL, HARASSING HER


You might try to speak with them and explain that they have the wrong idea about you. You might try to explain that you’ve changed over the years, or explain that your old messages only look bad because they don’t have the necessary context.


AN IMAGE OF THE GIRL IN A “PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN!” POSE, TRYING TO TALK TO THE THREE GREMLINS THAT ARE HUDDLED TOGETHER. AT LEAST TWO OF THEM SHOULD BE FACING AWAY FROM HER. THEY CAN BE TURNING THEIR HEADS TO LOOK IN HER DIRECTION, BUT SHOULD BE MADE FACING AWAY.


I’LL ALSO NEED AN EDIT OF THIS IMAGE WHERE THE GIRL LOOKS AWAY WITH THE GREMLINS


However when you try to do this, they’ll just laugh at you. You see, they don’t care at all about getting to know the real you. They want to maintain their twisted perception of you because they’re having so much fun ridiculing and sharing this image of you that exists in their minds.


AN IMAGE OF THE GIRL LOOKING DEPRESSED AND THE GREMLINS LAUGHING HARD, LIKE THEY THINK THE GIRL IS A JOKE.

You might try to prove that they’re wrong about you by remaining on your best behavior for as long as possible…

AN IMAGE OF THE GIRL WITH HER HANDS FOLDED, A HALO ABOVE HER HEAD, AND A PLEASANT EXPRESSION.

..but it won’t help.


AN EDIT OF A PREVIOUS IMAGE BUT THE GIRL HAS A FROWN AND HER HALO IS LOST


Anytime you ever say anything, no matter how harmless, they will interpret what you’ve said in the most negative manner possible. They’ll even stretch the truth as far as they possibly can, so they can continue believing that you are they monster they want you to be.


THIS ONE’S TRICKY, IT MAY BE HARD TO CREATE A FRAME THAT VISUALLY CONVEYS THIS _(We don’t know what it said)___. YOU’RE WELCOME TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN. PERHAPS YOU COULD DRAW THE GIRL IN A “TALKING” POSE WITH A SPEECH BUBBLE COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH. THERE WOULD BE A PRETTY FLOWER IN HER SPEECH BUBBLE. THEN YOU’D DRAW A GREMLIN IN AN EAVESDROPPING POSE AND A THOUGHT BUBBLE COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD. THERE WOULD BE A WILTED FLOWER IN HIS THOUGHT BUBBLE.


For example, Let's say that you announce you're going on a diet.

The girl in a "talking" pose, like this: (imgur link) A speech bubble is coming out
of her mouth, with a candy bar inside of it. There will be a "NO"
symbol over the candy bar: (imgur link)


But once a month, you allow yourself to have a single candy bar.


The girl happily eating a candy bar.

Another image of the girl eating a candy bar.

Another image of the girl eating a candy bar.


They will take pictures of you on the one day when you're eating a candy bar, make a collage of these pictures, and then claim you're a fat pig who is constantly eating candy.


Use image of a gremlin taking a picture with a camera. Maybe we can take previous artwork?


Even though the pictures are real, this is not an accurate representation of who you really are.


Let's say that you announce you're going to stop eating junk food. But in a selfie you posted to twitter, there's candy wrappers in the background? They'll conclude that you're a liar - but if they simply spoke to you, they'd learn that you frequently have guests over at your house, and keep some snacks around incase your guests get hungry.


I'll reveal an image that is [...] in the background. [...] the girl and the boy. There is a table, and a candy wrapper on the table. You’ll need to draw this image so that it can be changed so that the guy isn’t visible, but the candy wrapper is still visible.


All they had to do was simply talk to you and ask for an explanation, but they have no interest whatsoever in knowing the truth. They only want to believe whatever allows them to continue talking trash about you, because ridiculing and shaming people is their favorite hobby.


I’ll reuse previous art for this part.


They will dig as far into your past as possible, invade your privacy at every opportunity, and carefully observe every aspect of your personal life in search of anything they use to make fun of you. Eventually, they’ll discover your private information, record every conversation you take part in, and take screenshots of everything you say, just in case one day it can be used against you.


I’ll reuse previous art for this part.


You might say to yourself, “Oh, who cares if theres a bunch of weirdos who gossip about me? Who cares if they believe a bunch of nonsense that isn’t true? I don’t care, I’ll just continue living my life.”


An image of the girl looking confident, like she feels good about herself.


Well, it would be really nice if the story stopped here...but unfortunately it keeps going.


An edit of the previous image, where the girl has a worried expression on her face, like she just heard some bad news.


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press x to doubt

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ok but seriously, while i know what alex is like, this is too over the top to be real.

 

[agptroon]

We're the gremlins aren't we?

And he is a girl.

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

So, how close to the truth is he when he says rendering is more problematic for the frame rate than the spaghetti code?

He’s dead-on for once. Rendering the scene is incredibly expensive and for every effect like bloom or outlines you add it becomes even more expensive. This is the reason why splitscreen coop stopped being a common thing in 3D games.

A lot of games that implement mirrors and reflections on flat surfaces just wind up doing it by rendering a second mirrored copy of any object that should be reflected at the same time they render the original object. It’s a bit hacky to do it like that and takes a bunch of support code to figure out what should be mirrored, but it’s still magnitudes faster than rendering the entire scene again.

Codewise, the only thing he’s doing that causes any significant lag is his refusal to cache anything. The pathfinding for students is recalculated far more often than it needs to be and he calls a bunch of heavy Unity stuff every frame when he could just store the result and refer to it. His else-if spaghetti won’t cause lag, it’s just unmaintainable and buggy.

 

[kcbbq]

The only artwork needed for that script is Alex nailing Alex to a cross inside a thought bubble coming out of Alex.

 

[Dumbchan]

We're the gremlins aren't we?

Seems like the nicest thing we've been called.